You Can't Expect People You're Kind to, to be Kind Too.

Our Common Mistake: Thinking People Would Do the Same

You know that feeling when you do something kind for someone — maybe you text first, you check in, you help, you remember their birthday — and somehow, deep down, you expect they’d do the same for you?
And when they don’t, you start wondering, “Am I asking too much?” or worse, “Do they even care?”

Here’s the thing: one of the quietest mistakes we often make in relationships, friendships, even work, is this — we assume people would act, think, or feel the same way we do.

We expect others to show love the way we show it.
We expect them to care the way we care.
We expect them to be as thoughtful, as considerate, as emotionally aware as we are.

But people are not mirrors. They’re entire worlds with different weather, languages, and rules.

Maybe you grew up in a home where saying thank you mattered. Someone else might have grown up where showing up mattered more than saying the words. You might think helping means offering solutions; someone else might think helping means simply listening.

So when we assume others would “do the same,” we’re not actually expecting equality — we’re expecting a reflection of ourselves.

And that’s not love, that’s projection.

The truth is: people express care differently. They may not do what you’d do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. It might just mean they care in their own language — one you haven’t learned yet.

Once you start realising this, disappointment becomes softer.
You stop expecting clones. You start appreciating variety. You prepare disappointment of others better. You have the will to accept different treatments from many peole.
And maybe, you start doing things because it’s who you are, not because you want someone else to copy you.

Because that’s the ultimate maturity, right?
To give without expecting a mirror.
To love without needing proof in the same format.
To understand that people can be kind in ways that don’t look like yours.