tulisan hampa

Pernah nggak sih, kamu lagi sibuk banget—entah itu kerjaan numpuk, anak-anak ribut, hati lagi nggak karuan—tiba-tiba terdengar suara azan? Dan entah kenapa, dadamu terasa seperti ditarik… pelan, lembut, tapi dalam. Itulah azan. Panggilan mesra dari Allah. Seruan cinta dari langit untuk hati yang sering lelah. Azan itu bukan sekadar tanda waktu salat. Lebih dari itu, ia adalah surat cinta lima kali sehari dari Tuhan yang nggak pernah lelah menunggu kita pulang. Di saat semua hal duniawi membuat kita lupa arah, Allah dengan sabar mengirim azan—mengundang kita kembali ke pangkuan-Nya. “ Hayya ‘ala ash-shalah…” Mari, datang ke shalat. Bukankah itu terdengar seperti, “ Ayo, sini… istirahat dulu. Ceritakan semuanya pada-Ku.”? Dan saat kita dengar: “ Hayya ‘ala al-falah…” Kita diingatkan bahwa kemenangan, kebahagiaan sejati, bukan di notifikasi media sosial atau gaji bulanan. Tapi di sujud yang sunyi, di air mata yang jatuh di sajadah. Bahkan setan pun takut saat azan berkumandang...

The other day, my friend was feeling pretty low. He kept saying, "Nobody cares. Nobody checks on me anymore." It’s tough to see someone you care about hurting like that. But as we talked, I realised something important: He wasn’t actually abandoned — he was just stuck in a mindset that made him feel alone, even when he wasn’t. This made me think of Sadness from Inside Out 2 . If you remember her (how could you not?), Sadness is that little blue teardrop of a character who feels everything deeply . She sees the world through a heavy, emotional lens, which can sometimes make even normal situations feel overwhelmingly lonely. Here’s the truth: Loneliness isn’t just about how many texts or invites you get. It’s a state of mind . You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, or be completely alone and feel totally at peace. According to research by Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010), loneliness is actually more about the perception of social isolation than about real, phy...

— And Why You Should Care About How It’s Stored and Shared Yesterday, I caught up with an old friend over coffee — someone I deeply admire for her work in the field of marketing and communication consultancy. She’s currently handling a crisis case involving a public figure whose academic credentials are being questioned. But the twist is: her client isn’t the public figure — it’s the institution that's now under scrutiny. People are asking: “Is it true this person graduated from your university?” - What makes it tough, she told me, is the absence of a reliable digital trail. “Back then,” she said, “the graduation records were still paper-based. There were no standardised digital archives, no traces and solid online proof of verified diplomas, no university portal like the ones we see today.” In short, the institution can’t provide a verifiable digital proof, even though the person may well have graduated legitimately. And now, they’re paying the price in credibility. That conversa...

In today’s hyper-connected digital world, Gen Z faces an overwhelming flood of information every day. With platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube constantly delivering bite-sized content, they’re exposed to news, opinions, and trends at a speed never seen before. While this offers access to diverse perspectives, it also creates information overload —making it harder to distinguish between reliable facts and misleading content. For instance, a viral TikTok might spread health misinformation that seems convincing because it's well-edited and shared by a popular influencer, even if it's scientifically inaccurate. Another major hurdle is the culture of instant gratification that dominates digital spaces. Gen Z is used to fast, on-demand content—think 15-second videos, eye-catching headlines, and memes that prioritise entertainment over depth. This often leads to superficial understanding and a reluctance to engage with long-form articles or complex arguments. For example, ...

There’s a certain kind of strength that grows quietly — not in boardrooms or on stages, but in the stillness of midnight feedings, in the chaos of family dinners, and in the heart of a woman who wears many hats. That’s where I’ve been. Not gone, but fully present . For the past season of my life, I stepped away from public projects, paused my creative pursuits, and leaned fully into my roles as a mother, a wife, a full-time lecturer, and a multi-tasker juggling countless side gigs. My hiatus wasn’t about burnout. It was about intentional living. About choosing presence over performance, depth over display. I’ve been busy building a life — not just a résumé. Image generation from AI - my precious family. What the Hiatus Taught Me During this time, I learned that strength doesn’t always look like pushing harder. Sometimes, it’s found in surrendering to what matters most. I learned to find joy in the messiness of motherhood - mbak Siti left and her substitutes aren't just substituti...

Tapi budaya kita adalah making sure we are noticed. Kalo kalian tau, kenapa sampe ada istilah ' hustle culture' itu adalah karena semakin banyak FENOMENA KERJA LEMBUR YANG DIROMANTISASI di media sosial dan channel komunikasi lainnya. Yes, kalo mau fokus pada konteksnya, bagaimana akhirnya fenomena ini dicap jadi budaya  ya banyak yang pamer  bahwa mereka lagi qerka qeras bagai quda. Okay maaf bukan pamer  tapi sharing dan berbagi keadaan mereka yang sedang bekerja, dan terkadang dibumbui dengan ekspresi suka duka dalam pekerjaan mereka. Bagi yang menganggap ini hal baik, ya akhirnya masuk kaum glorifier of hustle culture. Bagi yang menganggap ini hal buruk, ya bisa mulai bilang ini toxic culture dan berdampak negatif. Di satu sisi mengangkat the idea of kerja keras, kerja smart, kegigihan, kecintaan pada kerjaan, passionate worker, dedikasi tinggi, profesionalisme, disiplin dan integritas, atau mental dan etos kerja bagus, dan hal positif lainnya deh. Sisi ini biasanya me...

 Terganggu banget dengan beberapa orang yang menyebutkan dan mengaitkan Fortuner atau Pajero dengan arogansi. KARENA NGGAK ADA HUBUNGANNYA. When someone is driving, they legally need and must pass the driving test. Which most Indonesians easily get through jalur 'nembak'. This is a serious issue, as driving is a dangerous type of activity especially kalo dilakukan di jalan raya dengan banyak pengguna jalan lainnya terlibat di jalan tersebut.  First thing first, psikologi dan mental seseorang adalah faktor utama dalam mengendarai mobil/motor. YES, psikologi dan mental. Dua hal yang sangat manusiawi banget dan bahkan ada studi dan expertnya sendiri. PLUS psikologis dan mental seseorang dalam mengendarai kendaraan bermotor. DOUBLE TROUBLE. Saat acquiring driving license, di Eropa  bahkan syarat SEBELUM kemampuan tes menyetir adalah MEDICAL REQUIREMENT. Artinya, seseorang harus sehat dan waras secara fisik dan mental untuk MEMILIKI driving license. Let alone driving a car. Th...

 Dear Self You matter. You play an important role in this life, and you are important to some individuals. Not a few people are expecting and hoping a lot from you. You have to stay sane and you have to stay strong. You are the place to go for your kids, you are the core of their education. You are awaited and anticipated. No matter how painful days can be, or saddening situation might be. No matter how hard tasks hit you, and no matter how bitter life can turn, you have to stand up and stand still. Rest your problems and thoughts to Allah. Let shalah and sabr be your rescue in any situation. Don't stop believing that Allah listens, He forgives and He loves you. Remember, whatever happens, you have to remain resilient, persistent and sane. That's the key. best regards yourself

and it's okay to have more than 10. 1. I hate your kindness.  You always try to help, while most of your ways are irritating and I don't like being treated so kind. 2. I hate your sincerity.  You always try to help literally everyone in this world. Do you think you're a saint?  3. I hate your forgiving attitude.  You always let go of grudge and it makes me feel bad when I'm mad and you're not towards one bad situation. 4. I hate your smile and your cheers whenever I am home.  I feel like I'm a door prize or celebrity. You make me feel awaited and wanted. 5. I hate your brilliance.  You always knows how to figure most things and you tend to find a way out in most situations. You think you're a genius huh?  6. I hate your jokes - it's the worst!  It's annoying and sometimes offensive. It's not funny and most of them are condescending me. 7. I hate your touch and your warmth.  It's hot! Stop touching me and being clingy because I don't like ...

You are the luckiest, because I speak Foreign Language. I absolutely know and understand the language you speak, and though conflict happened, it wasn't because I didn't understand it, but because I chose to be angry instead of accepting. But last night was special. You said "I love you" in Foreign Language, which I think you think I don't know, or I don't care. But I know, and it means so much to me. The more special thing was it happened during my sober time, I wasn't asleep or unconscious, I was fully awake and in my brain's primetime. Of course I still dislike quite some things and moment. But dislike-ness isn't my priority these days, I have selected the best emotions and managed the best reaction and action towards all situation by realising that we can always CHOOSE how to behave. I can always CHOOSE to stay quiet or to speak up. I can always CHOOSE to start and respond the conflict or sit down and watch. Yes, I occasionally love watching fa...

I was wrong to think that this is the safe space I could talk about you or anything else that I can't express in person. I was completely wrong to think that you wouldn't find me here. I was, of course, wrong to think that I went unnoticed. You are one of the things I think about before I sleep almost every night. Just almost, because one or two nights, my mind couldn't occupy more than the exhaustion of adoring you. Yes, to you, perhaps I don't exist. Or maybe I don't read it well to realise that I am meant to go unnoticed anyway. The expectation kills, they say, and I believe them. Yet, I don't find anything more reasonable than having and expectation to go through day by day in my life. Expecting and hoping you would finally see, or realise, or sense, or,,, ah, it's just an expectation. Yes it kills. So let me blog you, to keep myself reminded one day why I put up with insanity of watching and loving you from distance. Only a slight faith, but it's mo...

Buat kamu yang jarang mengungkapkan perasaan dengan wajar, ini buat kamu yang jarang kudengar keluh kesahnya sebutuh apapun aku terhadap keluh kesahmu. Tenang. Dalam diamku dan diammu, aku otomatis memaafkan. Aku otomatis melupakan, dan aku otomatis membiarkan. Tenang, tidak akan ada keluhan berarti dan bertubi, karena diam adalah jalan kita. Tenang, tak butuh banyak kata dan ucap karena aku bersistem sendiri dengan semua asumsi dan pemahamanku. Doaku. Yang aku langitkan melalui bisikan kepada bumi setiap sujudku, biarlah menjadi rahasiaku dengan Tuhanku. Karena pada akhirnya yang mendekapku adalah doaku, maka kubisikkan setiap katanya ke pada tanah, dan ia memanjat menuju langit dengan sendirinya tanpa dilihat atau didengar manusia.  Doaku. Adalah doa standard paling dasar, paling umum dan tidak spesifik. Karena detailnya, adalah rahasiaku dengan Tuhanku. Sabar. Setiap kita adalah refleksi diri kita di masa lalu, masa kini dan masa datang. Maka cukuplah hatiku berlapang membaca da...

Setahun pernikahan dengan Hafiz adalah setahun pertama aku terbuka mata, hati dan pikirannya karena banyak sekali hal. Runtuh semua rasa 'berpengalaman', 'sudah tua', 'sudah tau rasanya' dan berbagai rasa lainnya sisa luka lama dan kenangan yang pernah ada. Runtuh. Jadi kepingan yang lebih kecil, lalu seolah Allah rakit lagi jadi bongkahan besar yang lebih kokoh dan berbentuk. Runtuh. Rasanya begitu lapang dengan serakan serakan kepingan yang Allah rencanakan dan tuliskan. Pernikahan sama Hafiz adalah bongkahan baru yang diciptakan Tuhan supaya aku tau dan paham kenapa serpihan lama dibuat sehancur-hancurnya; supaya Allah bisa bangunkan yang lebih kuat lagi. Supaya bentukku makin terlihat dan bermakna. Aku seperti bongkahan batu atau cerita baru lagi, dengan berbagai karakter, berkotak-kotak ruang untuk bertumbuh, dan bersela sela celah untuk membentuk lagi cerita baru. Dan tekadku adalah terus memahat bongkahan itu bersama Allah, bersama Hafiz dan keluarga keci...

 Di sela makan malam, Anita dan Afrizal, sepasang suami istri yang baru saja menikah, memulai sebuah obrolan hati ke hati. "Honey, gimana rasanya menikah dengan orang yang mudah ditindas seperti aku?" Anita tanpa aba-aba dan konteks mendadak menanyakan hal tentang kelemahannya. Afrizal mengernyitkan dahi dan menatap istrinya dengan bingung, "Memang iya kamu mudah ditindas? Kenapa kamu pikir aku akan menindas kamu?" Afrizal bukan tidak mau menjawab pertanyaan absurd istrinya, tapi ia sepenuhnya bingung dengan pertanyaan tersebut. Pertanyaan baliknya tidak direspon. Dihitungnya hingga 3 suapan masing-masing mereka terhadap makanan dan tetap tidak ada jawaban. Hingga suapan ke-empat, Anita baru meminum sedikit air putih untuk mengosongkan kerongkongan dan memastikan suaranya terdengar jelas oleh suaminya. "Selepas perceraianku kemarin, aku merasa jadi orang yang paling lemah sedunia. Mungkin lebay  ya? Tapi itulah yang kurasa, sepertinya mudah dan enak menikah den...

Aku mengingat beberapa kali 60 menit bersama Syazka, seorang psikolog yang membantuku memetakan perasaan dan masalahku di tahun 2019. Sekitar 2 tahun lalu. Ya. Saat itu aku sedang berjuang melawan diriku sendiri yang menolak melihat kenyataan dan keadaan pahit, dan memilih melihat hal baik yang menyakitkan. Syazka membantuku memetakan lewat pertanyaan; apa perasaanku, apa yang kumau, apa yang sedang aku pikirkan, apa yang membuatku sedih dan senang. Syazka memintaku menuliskan perasaanku, pikiranku dan pilihanku serta sikapku. Aku tidak ingat kapan aku menangis se-menangis aku saat bertemu Syazka pertama kali. Sebuah tangisan yang begitu pilu namun membingungkan. Entah mentalku yang tidak terbiasa mendapat masalah, atau memang masalahku memang terlewat berat sehingga tubuh yang terbiasa lincah ceria ini kehilangan bobot massanya dan terus dirundung rasa duka yang mendalam. Malam-malam dingin datang dimana yang kurasakan sering kuungkapkan pada Syazka. Aku juga mengungkapkan pertanyaan ...

I woke up this morning to a sudden feeling of emptiness. I usually wiped it with a prayer or another thought so that I keep my mind off of the thing that confused me. This morning, I embraced it. I let my tears fall, as usual, nobody wiped it. My chest started to pound hard holding the pain. This isn't the best feeling to wake up to on Sunday morning. But who loves Sunday? After a few minutes, I tried closing my eyes again to go back to sleep. Too bad, sleep didn't help as what I saw in my dream is just another vision of fear and doubtfulness. So I woke up again to another deeper doubt and confusion. This time, I shook my mind off by writing a blog. Yet another tears fell down. I don't want to define any feelings or expectations right now. I'm learning to experience another emotional confusion that I think I need to get used to. I know it seems hard, but the hardest part of my life has been done a couple of times a few years back. So this one is another lemon, right?

Sometimes I wonder what haven't been done. Every day I'm so tired of being an adult and worrying over many things. Adulting is really really exhausting & it makes me wonder when this is all going to end.

Untuk pertama kalinya dalam sejarah blogging-ku, aku berharap postingan ini tidak ada yang membaca dan mempedulikan. Iya, karena ada kalanya aku merasa bertanggung jawab pada panca indera dan kemampuan literasiku yang minim ini untuk kuungkapkan hal yang tidak bisa kuungkap langsung pada manusia, namun telah kuungkap pada sang Pencipta. Aku begitu lelah setiap memulai tahap pertama, bahkan rasa lelahnya ada sejak saat kutahu bahwa aku akan memulai lagi. Aku sering merasa takut dan ragu akan hal yang aku sendiri tidak bisa menjelaskannya. Sering aku ungkap risauku di sepertiga malamku, kadang sampai menetes air mataku dengan semua galaunya urusan dunia. Sering aku merasa rindu Kampung Akhirat, tapi setiap aku buka mataku di pagi harinya, aku tersadar lagi bahwa menurut Tuhan aku belum pantas mencapainya. Menurut Tuhan, mungkin, aku masih butuh beberapa waktu lagi untuk membuktikan diri sambil terus berjalan hingga sampai pada titik kepantasan aku dipanggil oleh-Nya. Aku sering merasa se...

 This is the new LSPR Institute of Communication and Business Institute logo. My home.

Alex pull his chair and sit uncomfortably, regardless how many times he switched position. "My wife is a disaster. Before we got married, she was so independent, brilliant and charming. After the first child, there isn't any day she isn't complaining about... anything. Literally anything. The way I drink my coffee, the way I tie my shoes, the way I shut the front door, all day long until I get home, she still yaps about how smelly my shirt is. I am so exhausted listening to her so-called-concerns!" That only happens in his head. Billy didn't hear it. Instead, Billy offers him a cigarette an ask if his work is okay, Yes, boys don't talk about wives. Not a good one, not a bad one. "My boss gave me a crazy shit assignment today, he wants me to give training to all employees in all regions, in only one week! Crazy isn't it!" Alex starts the conversation by answering Billy's question about work and everything at the office. "That's insane...