tulisan hampa

Hari menyeka keringat di dahinya yang bercucuran akibat menunggu kendaraan kantor yang terlambat menjemputnya siang itu di lobby. Perintah terakhir supir adalah menunggu di pinggir jalan saja karena mobil sudah mendekat, jadi sang supir tidak perlu parkir atau masuk ke lobby gedung untuk mengangkut Hari. Ternyata apes hari itu ditandai dengan pemandangan macet tiada ujung di depan gedung kantornya. Siang itu Hari akan meeting dengan klien lama yang muncul kembali setelah dikecewakan oleh konsultan barunya. Sekembalinya sang klien ke perusahaan Hari untuk berkonsultasi, Hari lah yang mendapat tugas mulia menjalin hubungan baik dengan sang klien tersebut. Kebiasaan klien ini adalah meeting di mall tengah kota yang notabene jauh sekali dari kantor Hari di pinggir kota. Namun karena kalkulasi dan target profit yang telah ditinjau dan dievaluasi dengan seksama, jadilah tetap Hari yang mengikuti permintaan klien tersebut untuk makan siang di hari terakhir di bulan Juli. Panas....

Hujan deras mengguyur pom bensin tempatku berteduh. Aku bangun dari tidurku yang hanya bersandar di kaca swalayan yang belum buka (atau mungkin tidak akan pernah buka karena dari semalam aku lihat tidak ada aktivitas apapun di dalamnya). Pukul 6 pagi, mendung membuat langit terlihat seperti pukul 5 dan sudah genap 12 jam aku menunggu pencerahan dari Tuhan tentang bagaimana caraku pulang. Dingin. Sendirian. Di sekelilingku para pemudik masih terlelap tidak memedulikan hujan, sebagian ada yang mengantri untuk cuci muka di kran air (bukan menggunakan air hujan), tidak lepas dari pandanganku seorang ibu yang mengaduk susu di botol untuk bayinya (menggunakan air termos, bukan air hujan). Motor dan mobil berserakan tidak teratur di pelataran parkir, dan petugas pengisi bahan bakar sudah berganti wajah dari shift semalam. Aku mengingat lagi kejadian semalam sambil menggosok-gosok kedua telapak tanganku yang basah kena hujan. Pukul 21:00 "Permisi Om, saya baru ditinggal sama bus saya...

1. It has been a dream come true  2. I cannot wait to help this team win the title 3. This club is one amongst the best in the world 4. The team is very strong and I am confident of contributing myself to it. 5. When I was a kid, I have always wanted to play for this team. 6. It is sad to move from the previous great team, but I will do better here. 7. The fans are amazing and I want to make them proud by winning. 8. After the long story and struggle, I finally made this transfer and I am glad about it. 9. Great armosphere, great welcome and I look forward to the new season to begin 10. Thank you to my fans and I hope you continue to stand by your beloved team.

This one person came into my life with this person's life concept where this person is never wrong, always prioritising comfort and self-assurance. This person rarely thinks of anything else or anyone else that does not matter to this person, this person is ignorant sometimes and this person barely understands the concept of social life, so hard to consistently loving and unable to keep the passion if this person is no longer interested nor challenged. This person is a slave of intellectualism and this person would not bother giving any shit about stupid things. Funny things are what this person thinks as funny, even the funniest comedian in the whole universe will not succeed to make this person laugh if the joke is below this person's standard. This person is so hard to please but at some point this person is so silly and lovely and adorable. This person is what makes me up all night thinking about this person and talk to God about this person. Good thing is, I talk to God q...

Pilpres sudah dekat, boleh dong ya  anak sok tahu ini nulis sedikit pikiran dan perasaannya soal kenegaraan. Sebelumnya, I'd like to give my respect and gratitude untuk pemerintahan BeYe. He's done quite good, salah satu indikatornya adalah keterpilihannya dalam dua periode berturut-turut, people had trust on him. Dari 10 tahun pemerintahan beliau juga ada kok numerous achievements despite some failures where he could have done better (on top of my head; Lapindo dan kasus penyadapan oleh Australia). Selebihnya, well SBY was quite good I shall say. Now the two candidates; Prabowo - Hatta dan Jokowi - JK. Both of them have strength and weakness, and I am personally still confused, or in doubt, but I will make my choice this time. Prabowo. He is an expert in politics and diplomacy I think. Pengalaman dia mostly dari point of view pemerintah dan track record dia di militer (despite the rumours about human rights crimes on 1998) juga menunjukkan ketegasan. Ketegasan. Somethin...

There were these times when life was so hard and giving up seemed to be the only option left. I demanded myself more than just leaning, whining and mourning over senseless things. These times were also the day when acting strong and trying hard just gave me disappointment. I wanted to puke on every wisdom and quotes, desperately thinking that things were never going to be worse. So low. And then you came, with a simple "hello" that made me smile. But turned out you proved me wrong that things are actually becoming worse than ever.

"Abang, itu salju!" mungkin teriakanku tidak terdengar juga oleh subjek tujuanku, ia terlalu sibuk menenggak birnya sambil memandangi panggung yang performa artisnya tidak terlalu dia pahami. Aku masih terpaku pada salju di luar jendela bar lantai dua itu. Tidak terlalu lebat dan terlihat seperti abu jatuh dari langit, hanya saja serpihannya besar. Dalam hitungan detik, aku kembali melihat panggung yang kini artisnya sudah berganti menjadi band idolaku, The Wave Pictures. Lagu pertama mereka adalah My Kiss. Band indie asal Inggris ini memang punya jenis musik yang tidak umum, aku sendiri mulai suka sejak teman baikku di bangku kuliah, Tyo mengenalkanku padanya. Begitu kudengar mereka akan tampil di kota dekat aku studi, aku langsung mengajak karib rantauanku, Abang, untuk menemaniku menonton. Perkaranya mereka akan tampil di sebuah pub kecil di kota kecil dekat kotaku, dan di malam hari pastinya. Aku tidak ingin mengambil resiko nekat pergi sendiri, dan untungnya Abang...

Well, actually I was just a lecturer assistant in this subject; Kapita Selekta Marketing. And this semester project is to make event for museum branding. One of the classes where I am assisting is this class who hold an event for Fine Arts and Ceramics Museum. The first time I met them, they were the enthusiastic ones. I love the atmosphere and the spirit. They started brainstorming, surveying and we arrived at the pre-event on May. I adore their togetherness, their committment and their restless effort. Today I went to their runthrough and we discuss the rundown for the event. I was so excited and they were too. This is them, and I so look forward to seeing the real event next week. for more info: www.artceum.blogspot.com

I used to be an I Miss You slut. Expressing feelings and telling my thoughts. These days, I'm just going to post either on my Tumblr or here. Why? These things are more durable, memorable and less painful. I had a dream once, you complained about me complaining. You wondered why am I never satisfied with what I've got. You think I was ungrateful demanding bitch that always looked things from the bad side. You claimed you have tried and you have stayed. I think I hold on tighter than ever. And I believe you don't know that I have more positive thoughts than before. I believe that even if you knew, you would not care. As long as you think there isn't any fight, nor matter to discuss, so everything is going to be ok. I think I promised once to not post anything about feeling anymore. But this is not feeling, this is boredom alternative. Instead of cursing my reflection in the mirror, or gossiping with my friends. This is just a poem, that doesn't loo...

So I have been a teacher for a couple of months now. I just have the right time now to write this. I feel sorry for myself for not finding some time to intensely write again. Yet, here I go. You guys, students, probably never thought of what I feel now as a teacher, a lecturer, someone who spent 90 minutes of my life in a day to talk in class for and with and to you. I love being the centre of attention, but that's not it. I tell you what. It is an enormous happiness when I see each and every face of you looking back at me when I explain the lesson. It's your confusion, your smiles, your giggles, your enthusiasm, and even when you are mumbling with your friends when I talk. I LOVE IT. I love looking at you, telling you things about exam and homework. Shouting and yelling sometimes because you guys are too noisy and busy with yourself and ignore me. I love when you are all silent and feel nervous. I love when you're complaining about the grades I gave you. I love when ...

Barusan otak kecil gue ini mikir nikmat Tuhan yang sering gak terasa adalah kemampuanNya memberikan gue mimpi di setiap gue tidur. Most of mimpi gue adalah menyenangkan dan jadi penyemangat hidup di hari berikutnya. Impas.

putting so much, so much, faith in Arsenal. Almost nine years without trophy, players come and go, good and bad times. One single manager, old, classy and determined. As a fan, I can tell you once feel sad, embarrassed, down, excited, flat, hopeless, on fire. Name it, every emotion. Arsenal have the potential, great players, accountable strategy, reliable players, and unquestionable spirit. Well I'm weak about how they have developed and I'm blind about their internal issues and strategy. But for all I know, it's the spirit of the gooners who keep the faith on Arsene Wenger. Their loyalty and trust towards the club is what amazes me. I believe all clubs have these sort of fans, but by far I know you, there is no other fan as loyal as you are to your Arsenal; through the bad times and good times. I know every club has their own weaknesses and haters and lovers, but as far as I can learn, you show the most dedication and determination to your team. I admire you...

Dian berlari kecil menelusuri selasar kampusnya. Di ujung lorong, ia berhenti dan menoleh pada Awan, kawannya sejak masa sekolah, "nyet, mesin fax dimana ya? Gue mau ngirim undangan nih satu lagi ketinggalan!" ia terengah engah dari lari kecilnya. Awan menjawab singkat pada jelas, "Marketing" Dian bengong sejenak, otaknya berpikir keras. Pasalnya satu kata yang disebutkan Awan barusan adalah tempat paling keramat buatnya. Kepala staff Marketing adalah mantan pacarnya. Delapan skenario dapat terpikirkan oleh Dian jika dia mengikuti saran Awan untuk mengirim fax dari kantor Marketing. "Emang enak?! Makanya jangan cari gara-gara sama staff kampus" Awan nyengir bahagia melihat Dian masih berwajah kusut dan stress. Ia menepuk nepuk bahu Dian sambil mendorongnya berbalik arah menghadap ruang Marketing. "Semoga perlindungan Allah tetap menyertai elo, kemanapun elo pergi, dan siapapun yang elo temui, hahahha" tawanya riang sekali menatap punggung ...

1. Arse 2. Betting site 3. Wanker

But I will tell you what happened to me today. I woke up at 6. Exactly at 6 and I was so lazy to move away from my comfortable sofa bed. It was Saturday so the landlord would not come to collect the monthly bill. I fell asleep again, I dreamt of you bringing me a cup of coffee and a sandwich for breakfast. Just in time I was about to eat, I woke up again. I decided to move and get up, got myself a quick shower and checked my email. Nothing. Not from you, not from work. This kind of morning was rare. I usually wake up earlier and do a morning jog. Today I just didn't have the spirit to. So after a shower I tuned in to my telly, nothing was interesting. The fridge was empty, I dragged myself to the nearest convenient store, but in the halfway there, I remembered I did not bring my wallet, so I stepped back home. On my way home, I saw the dog you used to take care of when he was sick. The puppy has turned into a dog now, and he seemed well. I wondered if you came by around here ...

A couple of weeks ago, I remember, I was writing about the perks of being famous; one of them is to be remembered when you're dead. Today, one of important people in LSPR, MA Tomasouw passed away. He has suffered from heart attack and the one that finally took him away was cancer. Actually, I didn't know him personally and never had any chance to get close to him in any turn. I've just heard about him,  seen him once at graduation, he was smiling on his wheelchair, congratulating graduates and wandered around as if he was a normal person who enjoyed the celebratory of graduation.  Moreover on the day of his death, I read more than enough notes, and sadness from people that I know who love him. He's very inspirational, he's strong and always smiled. He's the brightest and the wisest, I can tell. What I'm trying to mesmerise is that how much people adore, respect, and miss him.  I don't know what to write anymore. I'm sad. Especially...

It's not yet the longest miles I've gone through. I remember the days that I did not stop thinking of breaking up with you. I wondered if I'm happy and if this is what relationship is. I wondered if you're worth the effort and the tears. I wondered if the times that we spent and the fights that we did were all for one good reason. I wondered if you were happy as I always wanted you too. I wondered if you ever realised how much sometimes I was hurt by your words or your attitude. I wondered if you have ever hated me, and hid it just to avoid conflict. I wondered these days that we've been through. But you know what? The fact that I love you holds me down from thinking of going away from you. The fact that I love you calms down my anger and disappointment. The fact that I love you opens my eyes that you love me too. The fact that I love you heals every sadness and exhaustion. The fact that I love you strengthens me from giving up. The fact that I love ...

So sick of quoting life wisdoms. I read them too often, bahkan saking seringnya, gue sampe nyinyirin semua quotes tentang hidup. Hidup dan bersosialisasi itu ibarat survival method-nya bunglon. Dia berhasil bertahan dari buruan musuhnya karena dia bisa beradaptasi melalui perubahan warna kulit di tempat dimana dia berada; kayu, rumput, tanah, dsb. Sekilas sepicik mirip kayak "muka dua" yah, alias gak punya jati diri. Menurut gue mah sebaliknya; jati dirinya adalah easy going dan adaptable.  Nggak banyak orang yang punya skill nge-bunglon. Menurut gue orang-orang ini ya berprinsip "gue ya gue, gak mau pretend jadi apa yang bukan gue". Padahal ada juga kelebihan dan keuntungannya mudah dan MAU beradaptasi; more friends, more things to kearn and more experiences. Bukan salah juga sih kalo ada orang yang berpendapat karakter bunglon itu plin-plan dan suka menjilat supaya aman dan bisa diterima. Mereka juga memilih "mending gua gak banyak temen tapi sedikit temen ya...

So I was asked (or slightly pushed) by a senior lecturer in my uni where I work to join a speech contest. It was a 5-minutes presentation competition. I thought "oh shit what would I say? this sounds like an academic smart pants event" then I said "oke deh ma'am saya coba ya" for all I hope this is just like a bully thing for new lecturers. I like talking anyway, I just need to find a good topic that I could master and present. After thinking and browsing for a while, I was reminded to this funny and interesting ad  about bus and I tried to relate it with a theory that is not too hard but also interesting. Ta da~ I came up with a rhetoric approach on advertising! On the D-day of the competition, it was a Lecturers Convention btw, I was bloody nervous. I drawed as the very last contestant to present and my fellow lecturers were all so prepared and when it came to my turn, I barely felt my knees. I was sooooooo nervous as I knew all the audiences will be...

Abel itu... Lovely. Ngeselin, tapi lovely. Sepulang dari nonton film tadi malem, kami jalan menelusuri food court PIM 2 menuju Shihlin; wacananya gue mau bungkus buat sarapan. Lalu Abel bilang "aduh lagi batuk gitu ga usah Shihlin deh lada merica pedes, yang lain aja" Lalu gue nurut, bener juga, makin parah batuk gue nanti kalo ngikutin nafsu. Akhirnya beli burger. Trus Abel komen clutch bag baru gue, "gak ribet ya bawa tas ga ada pegangannya gitu harus diketekin?" Gue jawab "nggaklah ini justru praktis gak nyakitin pundak atau punggung" Lantas Abel bilang "ya tapi kan tangannya jadi gak bebas" Simpel, gue hajar "ya tanganku bebas juga ga ada yang megangin"  Sekedip kode terbaca, telusupan tangan gue di lengan Abel dipindahkannya ke tangannya. Hore gandengan! Sampe di lantai basement, sebelum menuju mobil, gue menunjuk gerai Share-tea. Spontan uhuy gue berseru "aku mau share-tea!" Kata Abel "yaudah beli" Selang beber...