Saturday 2 September 2017

From: Unknown, To: Reality



Hanya Soal Waktu🎊

Hanya soal waktu...
Saat rumahmu akan sebersih dan serapih rumah2 dalam majalah2 yang sering kau irikan itu
Maka... nikmatilah setiap detik letihmu yang harus berpuluh kali membereskan kekacauan yang mereka buat

Hanya soal waktu...
Saat mereka tak mau lagi kau gandeng, peluk atau sekedar kau cium rambutnya
Maka... berbahagialah ketika mereka selalu membuntutimu kemanapun kakimu melangkah, meski kadang hal itu mengesalkanmu,
bagi mereka tak ada selainmu

Hanya soal waktu...
Saat kau tak lagi jadi si serba tahu dan tempat mengadu
Maka... bersabarlah dengan rentetan pertanyaan juga celoteh riang dari mulut mungil mereka yang kadang membuat dahimu mengernyit atau keasyikanmu terhenti

Hanya soal waktu...
Saat mereka mulai meminta kamarnya masing2 dan melarangmu mengutak atik segala rupa apa yang di dalamnya
Maka... tahan emosimu dari rengekan manja mereka saat minta kelon atau dongeng sebelum tidur ketika mata 5 wattmu juga meminta  haknya

Hanya soal waktu...
Saat mereka menemukan separo hatinya untuk selanjutnya membangun sarangnya sendiri...
Mungkin saat itu posisimu tak lagi sepenting hari ini
Maka... resapilah setiap mili kebersamaanmu dengan mereka selagi bisa

Karena tak butuh waktu lama menunggu kaki kecil mereka tumbuh menjadi sayap yang kan membawanya pergi menggapai asa dan cita

Kelak kau hanya bisa menengok kamar kosong yang hanya sekali dua akan ditempati penghuninya saat pulang...
Termangu menghirup aroma kenangan di dalamnya dan lalu tercenung "dulu kamar ini pernah begitu riuh dan ceria"
Dan kau begitu merindukannya

Kelak kau akan sering menunggu dering telepon mereka untuk sekedar menanyakan "apa kabarmu ibu"?
Dan kau akan begitu bersemangat menjawabnya dengan cerita-cerita tak penting hari ini

Kelak kau akan merindukan acara memasak makanan kegemaran mereka dan merasa sangat puas saat melihat hasil masakanmu tandas di piring mereka

Janganlah keegoisanmu hari ini akan membawa sesal di kelak kemudian hari
Kau takkan pernah bisa memundurkannya sekalipun sedetik untuk sekedar sedikit memperbaikinya

Karena waktu berjalan...
Ya... ia berlari...
Tidak.... ia terbang...
Dan dia tak pernah mundur kembali

Friday 1 September 2017

All Over Again. (part 3)

It's late. Probably will finish this later, besides I also have to take Nash to school tomorrow morning.

Sand texted me this morning and I hadn't had any chance to reply. Now I feel like I have to.
"Hey, sorry just finished with everything now. I'll see you tomorrow?"
He was still up there.
"Pick me up? I'm taking you to a quick date near airport, my friend's just opened his cafe"
Yes! He always knows what I like, coffee and books. He always surprises me with unpredictable things; being better than Dusk, and being more thoughtful than anyone. I always flashback to our first meeting in Berlin that evening, I was so impressed by his paintings, which turned out to be only a side hobby. I couldn't believe it so we grabbed some cups of coffee to explain to me and convince me that he wasn't (only) artistic, but (also) kind and mature.

"I'm sorry for your loss. But like, more sorry for his loss of losing you" he made a very sad joke about me breaking up with Dusk. That joke, and other coffee jokes, and other relationship jokes. It was one of the hardest days that I have had since my father passed away a couple of years back. That evening was the shortest yet the longest meeting I have ever had with someone new like Sand. Sand was so common yet so unique, oh I wish I had a word to describe him. Actually thinking of writing a book about Sand, but I'll save it for later, because it will be another story then. Sand was so comforting and he filled the gap. He cured, and he was a major distraction.


"That's okay, I remembered but forgot that quotes about meeting someone who will make you realise why the last one didn't work, or something, if you know what I mean" I said that on our twentieth date, and I have decided to fall in love with Sand, and his silly jokes, and his outbursts and his perseverance, especially regarding our relationship.
"I may not the perfect, not even the better version of any guys you have dated, but tomorrow, I will show you that everything is going to be okay" he tried to calm me down on one day before our wedding day. I was as nervous as him, but he handled it way better than me.
"On our fifth anniversary, remind me to buy you a flower please" I said randomly to thank him for his effort.


***
"This one looks decent for an anniversary" Dusk pull out a white rose from the vase.
"Stop sabotaging my relationship, for God's sake!" I laughed and moved on the the other flowers, without asking his approval I went to the cashier and paid for it.
"You are always a lousy gift-getter"
"I don't care, this one is very special to us and I want to pick it myself" I just rolled my eyes on how he laughed at my flowers. He hugged me from his side and his arms was all around my shoulder and neck. His perfume has never changed, and I couldn't believe it has been over 7 years now, his perfume. "I am faithful, mostly to anything" his defended his perfume choice when I complained a few months ago.


***
"Happy anniversary!!" Sand got me a brand new mirrorless camera. I found out he ran over my browser history and looked at my wishlist in an online shop. You wouldn't believe what I felt that night. It was a combination between guilt, pain, anger, joy, relief, and numb at the same time. I was the worst. "And this is to our seventh year of togetherness, and forever to go" he raised his glass and gave me the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.
"Your smile is one of the best things in my life" I raised my glass to and kiss him deeply.
"I love you" Sand always looks into my eyes when he says that. Always.