Monday 23 December 2019
Tuesday 17 December 2019
About that Long Lasting Relationship
There is no way a relationship that lasts more than 2 years will always have a honeymoon phase. It doesn't stay warm, sparkling and enthusiastic as it was when it began. Never. Relationship is like a DNA, everyone has different one, and there is no identical relationship. Relationship is like a rollercoaster, there will be ups, downs, fights, make ups, arguments, agreements, and adjustments, and anything else that might ruin you or empower you. It all really depends on how you maintain your personal and your partner's emotional balance.
It takes maturity, willingness and sacrifices to make a long-lasting relationship an enjoyable ride. It takes more than just time to make sure you have the best relationship experience.
The best ones aren't the ones without fight scene, without jealousy.
Sometimes the best ones are the ones that have billions problems, discrepancies, differences, and maybe a bit lies, secrets and surprises.
You are also aware that things and people are changing constantly, you need to keep that in mind and always be conscious about the change.
THE CHANGE.
It could be from the person, the environment, the surroundings, the people you interact with, the situation, and the change itself. It's unpredictable, even if it is, it doesn't make things easy. Again, it takes courage to keep on holding on the commitment. Change can be annoying, can bite you really hard, it can also make you more mature and responsible. At the end of the day, life is all about making choices and living with the consequences. By knowing that change is inevitable, you might be able to prepare yourself to get into the stormy journey with your partner. I'm telling you, it's hard. It's hard to cope up with some thing new, let alone the change that you don't like. It's challenging.
WALK THE TALK.
You vowed, or at least declare your love and commitment to your significant others. Many aren't aware that this is actually surrendering half of yourself being dead, or compromised by some other's half. When you declare your compassion, it comes with the result: your partner's expectation. As much as you also have expectations from your partner, many of us forget to make it a balance effort between two things:
A. what you said and what you do,
B. what you give and what you take.
Can you walk the talk? Or you'll live by one excuse to another, that will lead you to one lie to another, that will lead you to one betrayal to another. It's an endless circle if you can't cut it from the beginning by meaning what you say, and doing what you've committed to.
COMPASSION.
People get bored. It's just something absolute. No matter how conventional and how faithful you think you are, you will still be bored with something that becomes a routine. It's a mundane situation you thought you're gonna be loyal to. You might also think you're boring person who hates changes Or you feel like you are a status-quo lover. You are wrong. When it comes to relationship, the person who's sharing it with you will become a routine. And just like a verb, a human also changes depending on the variable. Compassion is what makes a relationship alive. Compassion is the real pain in the ass when you have to put aside your boredom and ego, and you have to forget the idea of being with someone (or doing something) new. Compassion is an endless homework every couple. It's something that needs creativity and a little bit of force from inside and out. Many gave up their past compassion because they think it's not much to explore anymore with this person. Many focus on what they can get more instead of what they have achieved so far.
For me, it's the change, consistent and compassion that become the three main elements of long lasting relationship.
Good luck!
It takes maturity, willingness and sacrifices to make a long-lasting relationship an enjoyable ride. It takes more than just time to make sure you have the best relationship experience.
The best ones aren't the ones without fight scene, without jealousy.
Sometimes the best ones are the ones that have billions problems, discrepancies, differences, and maybe a bit lies, secrets and surprises.
You are also aware that things and people are changing constantly, you need to keep that in mind and always be conscious about the change.
THE CHANGE.
It could be from the person, the environment, the surroundings, the people you interact with, the situation, and the change itself. It's unpredictable, even if it is, it doesn't make things easy. Again, it takes courage to keep on holding on the commitment. Change can be annoying, can bite you really hard, it can also make you more mature and responsible. At the end of the day, life is all about making choices and living with the consequences. By knowing that change is inevitable, you might be able to prepare yourself to get into the stormy journey with your partner. I'm telling you, it's hard. It's hard to cope up with some thing new, let alone the change that you don't like. It's challenging.
WALK THE TALK.
You vowed, or at least declare your love and commitment to your significant others. Many aren't aware that this is actually surrendering half of yourself being dead, or compromised by some other's half. When you declare your compassion, it comes with the result: your partner's expectation. As much as you also have expectations from your partner, many of us forget to make it a balance effort between two things:
A. what you said and what you do,
B. what you give and what you take.
Can you walk the talk? Or you'll live by one excuse to another, that will lead you to one lie to another, that will lead you to one betrayal to another. It's an endless circle if you can't cut it from the beginning by meaning what you say, and doing what you've committed to.
COMPASSION.
People get bored. It's just something absolute. No matter how conventional and how faithful you think you are, you will still be bored with something that becomes a routine. It's a mundane situation you thought you're gonna be loyal to. You might also think you're boring person who hates changes Or you feel like you are a status-quo lover. You are wrong. When it comes to relationship, the person who's sharing it with you will become a routine. And just like a verb, a human also changes depending on the variable. Compassion is what makes a relationship alive. Compassion is the real pain in the ass when you have to put aside your boredom and ego, and you have to forget the idea of being with someone (or doing something) new. Compassion is an endless homework every couple. It's something that needs creativity and a little bit of force from inside and out. Many gave up their past compassion because they think it's not much to explore anymore with this person. Many focus on what they can get more instead of what they have achieved so far.
For me, it's the change, consistent and compassion that become the three main elements of long lasting relationship.
Good luck!
Tuesday 10 September 2019
It all started with...
“Sorry, boleh gabung nggak?” suaranya mengejutkanku dan hampir membuatku menumpahkan kopiku.
“Oh boleh” akhirnya aku tersenyum terpaksa. Meliriknya lewat sudut mataku bagaimana ia mengambil posisi duduk lalu memantikkan rokoknya.
“Oh boleh” akhirnya aku tersenyum terpaksa. Meliriknya lewat sudut mataku bagaimana ia mengambil posisi duduk lalu memantikkan rokoknya.
Thursday 13 June 2019
RASA dan PERASAAN
Kemarin perjalanan mudik dan balik dari Jakarta ke Pati ke Jakarta lagi banyak ngobrol sama Gusmin sang supir yang ternyata masih sanak saudaraku. Aku sadar banyak temuan baru dalam diri manusia, dimana salah satunya ya Rasa dan Perasaan. Salah satu bahan obrolan kami adalah anak, yaiyalah yah sebagai parents jaman now, gak jauh dari anak. Kebetulan anaknya Gusmin dan Sky cuma beda 2 tahun, Bilqis 5 tahun, Sky 3 tahun. Adiknya juga deketan, anak kedua Gusmin cowok, namanya Al umurnya 11 bulan, dan Karim 12 bulan. Mirip kan?
So anyway we began with how much the sisters hurt their little brothers. Ternyata sama aja. Walau kayaknya kirain Bilqis lebih dewasa bisa baik dan sayang adik, ternyata 11-12 sama Sky. Jealousy, envy and competitiveness. Lalu beralih ke obrolan belanja dapur anak, susu, popok, makanan. We agree that it's so hard to manage the grocery expenses, dan dari sudut pandang istri dan suami, aku jadi paham how big a father's responsibility and sacrifice is. Same thing, Gusmin juga jadi paham betapa susah banget ngatur uang dan amanah dari suami untuk istri dan anaknya. Fair trade.
PERASAAN
Then we came to the topic of how hurtful is when the sisters punch, slap, kick, smack their brothers. Gusmin kira sakit, karena nangis.
Aku bilang bukan karena sakit, tapi karena dibikin seolah itu sakit.
Kenapa? karena aku lihat Karim sering nyakitin dirinya sendiri; mukul meja, jendela, jedotin kepala ke lantai, kaca, meja, dll, dan dia nggak nangis. Tapi ketika didorong Sky, pelan dan nggak sampe jatuh, dia nangis kenceng. You know why? Karena orang sekitarnya Karim (me, mbak Siti, neneknya, Eqi) ngaggetin Karim dengan reaksi kami saat lihat dia didorong Sky.
Itu yang bikin Karim nangis. Bukan sakit.
Pernah suatu hari, Karim jatoh karena baru belajar jalan sendiri. Jatuhnya lumayan sakit di pantat dan tentunya dia kaget. Aku perhatiin ekspresi mukanya sambil menahan ekspresi muka kaget dan khawatirku (yah namanya ibu) untuk memancing reaksi apa yang muncul dari Karim saat merasa jatuh tapi nggak ada stimulus "eh aduh ayo nak sakit nggak? aduh bangun yuk? aduh are you okay?".
Instead, aku tepuk tangan dan nyanyi 'happy birthday'.
Karim ngeliat aku tepuk tangan dan nyanyi, dia diam sejenak.
Lalu ikut senyum dan tepuk tangan.
Dalam hatiku "lah, ga jadi nangis?"
Di situ aku belajar banyak; rasa sakit itu (untuk bayi) ternyata adalah ajaran. Saraf dan badan dia bisa mentoleransi rasa sakit hingga sekian persen sehingga nggak immediately bikin nangis (karena nggak nyaman). Rasa sakit itu dikenalkan dan dipelajari seorang anak dari sekitarnya. No wonder, kalo ada anak yang celaka dikit langsung dihebohin orang tuanya "eh ya ampun anakku, aduh sakit nggak?" atau bahkan berlanjut ke "eh aduh kasian jatuh, nih nakal ya lantainya, pukul ni.. lantai nakal" malah membentuk mental yang kurang oke yah menurutku; menyalahkan, manja dan tidak terima atau mengakui salahnya sendiri.
Ya emang sih, bukan salah dia kalo jatuh, tapi kan bukan salah lantai. Dan anak tidak perlu dihebohkan dengan 'rasa sakit' yang sebetulnya kita bisa kontrol. Toh kalo dia betulan kesakitan, dipancing ketawa kayak apapun dia tetap akan nangis. Kenapa?
Karena dia tidak nyaman.
Lalu apa sih nyaman?
Beda ya setiap anak dikenalkan dengan rasa nyaman; ada yang nyusu, dipeluk, digendong, dicium, diayun, atau cukup diberdirikan (dari jatuhnya) dan diberi senyuman. Kembali ke ortu (atau pengasuh). Makanya ketika dia celaka dan sampai di titik tidak nyaman (termasuk sakit secara fisik), maka dia akan nangis, apalgi kalo secara fisiologis ada gejala bahaya; berdarah, memar, lecet, dsb.
Itupun gejala fisik bisa aja nggak relevan ya. Soalnya Sky sering luka, berdarah dan lecet tapi nggak nangis. Karena Sky nggak aku ajarin dengan rasa sakit.
RASA.
Tempo hari Karim diurut sama Mbah Ni, langganan tukang urut bayi di keluargaku. Waktu dipijat bagian punggung dekat lengan kanan, Karim nangis jerit-jerit. wa waa waaaa ga bakal tega deh, kalo ada orang lewat dan denger pasti dikira dipukulin ahahahha. Anyway, pijetnya ngga kenceng kok, I know because Mbah Ni juga pernah urut aku and she is so soft and tender. So menurut Mbah Ni, Karim kecapean dan bagian badannya yang itu pegel atau kaku, makanya kesakitan dan nangis.
Besoknya habis mandi, aku urut Karim di bagian yang sama, bahkan agak lebih kenceng pijetnya. DIA KETAWA.
Ya, boleh dibilang "ya udah sembuh abis diurut kemarin", makanya nggak sakit lagi. But come on, we all know abis diurut itu nggak semua pegel immediately ilang. Bahkan ada pegel yang makin pegel abis urut, ya kan?
But Karim laughed, as if it was ticklish. He liked it.
Ini yang namanya Rasa pada manusia. Rasa itu muncul juga dari Perasaan.
Karim kenal siapa yang pegang dia, Karim bisa merasakan sentuhan, mencium bau, mengenali sentuhan, mendengarkan suara dan mengidentifikasi individu. Karim yang bahkan belum ada se-dekade hidup ke dunia, bisa tau siapa yang ibunya, siapa yang bukan.
Lagi-lagi, ini tergantung bagaimana ortu (atau pengasuh) menanamkan identitas mereka pada memori anak. Dan aku merasa sangat dekat dengan Karim, sehingga Karim juga merasa nyaman denganku dan dengan apapun yang aku perbuat padanya. Jadi kalau ada suatu perbuatan (atau perlakuan, atau stimulus) yang sama, dilakukan oleh dua orang berbeda kepada kita, perasaan kita bermain RASA dan akhirnya menimbulkan reaksi yang berbeda, walaupun halnya sama.
----
Rasa itu ada di sensorik motorik dan fisik. Sifatnya refleks, bisa jadi punya standard tertentu.
Perasaan itu datangnya dari dalam hati dan apa yang ditanamkan pada kita dari kecil.
Rasa itu sebuah simbolik. Perasaan itu sebuah nilai dan makna.
Contohnya kalau kita lihat buah lemon.
Lemon itu RASAnya asam, tapi PERASAAN:
1. seger deh, buat yang suka asem
2. kecut di mulut, buat yang nggak suka asem
3. aduh jangan deh, buat yang punya maag
4. wah enak dicampur teh, buat yang selera.
----
SEGITU DULU YAH KE-SOTOY-AN KITA INI!
So anyway we began with how much the sisters hurt their little brothers. Ternyata sama aja. Walau kayaknya kirain Bilqis lebih dewasa bisa baik dan sayang adik, ternyata 11-12 sama Sky. Jealousy, envy and competitiveness. Lalu beralih ke obrolan belanja dapur anak, susu, popok, makanan. We agree that it's so hard to manage the grocery expenses, dan dari sudut pandang istri dan suami, aku jadi paham how big a father's responsibility and sacrifice is. Same thing, Gusmin juga jadi paham betapa susah banget ngatur uang dan amanah dari suami untuk istri dan anaknya. Fair trade.
PERASAAN
Then we came to the topic of how hurtful is when the sisters punch, slap, kick, smack their brothers. Gusmin kira sakit, karena nangis.
Aku bilang bukan karena sakit, tapi karena dibikin seolah itu sakit.
Kenapa? karena aku lihat Karim sering nyakitin dirinya sendiri; mukul meja, jendela, jedotin kepala ke lantai, kaca, meja, dll, dan dia nggak nangis. Tapi ketika didorong Sky, pelan dan nggak sampe jatuh, dia nangis kenceng. You know why? Karena orang sekitarnya Karim (me, mbak Siti, neneknya, Eqi) ngaggetin Karim dengan reaksi kami saat lihat dia didorong Sky.
Itu yang bikin Karim nangis. Bukan sakit.
Pernah suatu hari, Karim jatoh karena baru belajar jalan sendiri. Jatuhnya lumayan sakit di pantat dan tentunya dia kaget. Aku perhatiin ekspresi mukanya sambil menahan ekspresi muka kaget dan khawatirku (yah namanya ibu) untuk memancing reaksi apa yang muncul dari Karim saat merasa jatuh tapi nggak ada stimulus "eh aduh ayo nak sakit nggak? aduh bangun yuk? aduh are you okay?".
Instead, aku tepuk tangan dan nyanyi 'happy birthday'.
Karim ngeliat aku tepuk tangan dan nyanyi, dia diam sejenak.
Lalu ikut senyum dan tepuk tangan.
Dalam hatiku "lah, ga jadi nangis?"
Di situ aku belajar banyak; rasa sakit itu (untuk bayi) ternyata adalah ajaran. Saraf dan badan dia bisa mentoleransi rasa sakit hingga sekian persen sehingga nggak immediately bikin nangis (karena nggak nyaman). Rasa sakit itu dikenalkan dan dipelajari seorang anak dari sekitarnya. No wonder, kalo ada anak yang celaka dikit langsung dihebohin orang tuanya "eh ya ampun anakku, aduh sakit nggak?" atau bahkan berlanjut ke "eh aduh kasian jatuh, nih nakal ya lantainya, pukul ni.. lantai nakal" malah membentuk mental yang kurang oke yah menurutku; menyalahkan, manja dan tidak terima atau mengakui salahnya sendiri.
Ya emang sih, bukan salah dia kalo jatuh, tapi kan bukan salah lantai. Dan anak tidak perlu dihebohkan dengan 'rasa sakit' yang sebetulnya kita bisa kontrol. Toh kalo dia betulan kesakitan, dipancing ketawa kayak apapun dia tetap akan nangis. Kenapa?
Karena dia tidak nyaman.
Lalu apa sih nyaman?
Beda ya setiap anak dikenalkan dengan rasa nyaman; ada yang nyusu, dipeluk, digendong, dicium, diayun, atau cukup diberdirikan (dari jatuhnya) dan diberi senyuman. Kembali ke ortu (atau pengasuh). Makanya ketika dia celaka dan sampai di titik tidak nyaman (termasuk sakit secara fisik), maka dia akan nangis, apalgi kalo secara fisiologis ada gejala bahaya; berdarah, memar, lecet, dsb.
Itupun gejala fisik bisa aja nggak relevan ya. Soalnya Sky sering luka, berdarah dan lecet tapi nggak nangis. Karena Sky nggak aku ajarin dengan rasa sakit.
RASA.
Tempo hari Karim diurut sama Mbah Ni, langganan tukang urut bayi di keluargaku. Waktu dipijat bagian punggung dekat lengan kanan, Karim nangis jerit-jerit. wa waa waaaa ga bakal tega deh, kalo ada orang lewat dan denger pasti dikira dipukulin ahahahha. Anyway, pijetnya ngga kenceng kok, I know because Mbah Ni juga pernah urut aku and she is so soft and tender. So menurut Mbah Ni, Karim kecapean dan bagian badannya yang itu pegel atau kaku, makanya kesakitan dan nangis.
Besoknya habis mandi, aku urut Karim di bagian yang sama, bahkan agak lebih kenceng pijetnya. DIA KETAWA.
Ya, boleh dibilang "ya udah sembuh abis diurut kemarin", makanya nggak sakit lagi. But come on, we all know abis diurut itu nggak semua pegel immediately ilang. Bahkan ada pegel yang makin pegel abis urut, ya kan?
But Karim laughed, as if it was ticklish. He liked it.
Ini yang namanya Rasa pada manusia. Rasa itu muncul juga dari Perasaan.
Karim kenal siapa yang pegang dia, Karim bisa merasakan sentuhan, mencium bau, mengenali sentuhan, mendengarkan suara dan mengidentifikasi individu. Karim yang bahkan belum ada se-dekade hidup ke dunia, bisa tau siapa yang ibunya, siapa yang bukan.
Lagi-lagi, ini tergantung bagaimana ortu (atau pengasuh) menanamkan identitas mereka pada memori anak. Dan aku merasa sangat dekat dengan Karim, sehingga Karim juga merasa nyaman denganku dan dengan apapun yang aku perbuat padanya. Jadi kalau ada suatu perbuatan (atau perlakuan, atau stimulus) yang sama, dilakukan oleh dua orang berbeda kepada kita, perasaan kita bermain RASA dan akhirnya menimbulkan reaksi yang berbeda, walaupun halnya sama.
----
Rasa itu ada di sensorik motorik dan fisik. Sifatnya refleks, bisa jadi punya standard tertentu.
Perasaan itu datangnya dari dalam hati dan apa yang ditanamkan pada kita dari kecil.
Rasa itu sebuah simbolik. Perasaan itu sebuah nilai dan makna.
Contohnya kalau kita lihat buah lemon.
Lemon itu RASAnya asam, tapi PERASAAN:
1. seger deh, buat yang suka asem
2. kecut di mulut, buat yang nggak suka asem
3. aduh jangan deh, buat yang punya maag
4. wah enak dicampur teh, buat yang selera.
----
SEGITU DULU YAH KE-SOTOY-AN KITA INI!
Thursday 30 May 2019
NGGAK ADA PARSEL TAHUN INI
Tapi aku belum pernah se-lega ini nggak nerima apapun di bulan Ramadhan menjelang Idul Fitri. Tahun sebelumnya, let's say sejak 2013, I have always RECEIVED A LOT, literally. THR, bingkisan, makanan, parsel, you name it. It was massive.
Tahun ini, blank. Cuma 1 parsel, itupun sifatnya rutinitas. 1 toples kue, itupun sifatnya 'sekalian thank you' dari seseorang yang pernah aku tolong. But then I feel so grateful this year, more grateful than the previous years.
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.
Sebagai orang yang percaya bahwa 'memberi itu lebih baik daripada menerima' tentunya aku seneng banget, berarti Allah sudah tidak menganggap aku di level 'penerima' lagi, melainkan aku selalu di posisi 'pemberi'. Ma sha Allah. seneng banget. Ngitungin berkat tahun ini sejak lahiran Karim tahun lalu... Ya Allah kok nggak ada habisnya ya? Anak-anak sehat, keluarga sehat, Sky bisa sekolah, Karim imunisasi full, berhenti kerja full time tapi duit tetep lancar. Ma sha Allah, kebangetan kalo sampe aku ngeluh karena nggak dapet parsel. Which surprisingly aku malah lega.
NO DEBT IS DEBTED.
Dengan nggak nerima parsel, aku seneng juga karena artinya aku dibebaskan dari orang-orang yang (harus) ngasih aku. Padahal aku-nya nggak minta or berharap. Ini berarti aku membebaskan juga orang dari rasa 'harus ngasih parsel ke Novel nih' or so. Ya seneng dong, imagine kalo semua orang harus spend a few hundred K for me padahal bisa dialokasikan ke yang lebih mereka (atau orang lain) butuhkan? Berarti aku membebaskan mereka dari kewajiban padaku, as what I've seen from some people yang memang ngasih parselnya karena 'agenda tahunan' dan bukan bersifat tulus atau perhatian. Well, this isn't entirely wrong, but this affects me if turns out someone gave me something because THEY HAD TO, not because they cared and wanted to. So these people,,, seneng banget I can help people indirectly.
I NEED TO GIVE MORE.
Nggak munafik, sosial itu penuh hukum timbal balik. What you give is what you get. Kalo tahun ini aku nggak dapet parsel, artinya mungkin aku kurang ngasih parsel juga ke orang lain. Bisa jadi. Aku nggak boleh deny that there is a possibility. Do you know why? Karena I have to admit perhaps I haven't given so much this year, and this means I have to give more next yeaar! This gives me a reflecting effect of how I've perhaps forgotten the sense of having workmates. Also I felt guilty for not giving much to those whom I've wanted to give something to. Okay gotta save more!!
GOD GRANTS MUCH BIGGER HAMPERS.
It's plural; hampers. It's from The Kindest; God. It's something absolute; His Promise. Nggak sedikitpun aku sedih, bahkan aku sebenernya seneng karena tahun ini Allah held everything duniawi to save me much better gifts in the future. Faith. It's faith that keeps me sane, happy and pretty. Dan janji Allah itu pasti.
Sharing sekedar sharing, biar yang baca dapet insight betapa pemberian dunia itu nggak ada artinya dibanding permberian dari Sang Pencipta; kesehatan, keluarga, jiwa yang waras, hidup yang overall happy, dan iman. ALHAMDULILLAH.
Tahun ini, blank. Cuma 1 parsel, itupun sifatnya rutinitas. 1 toples kue, itupun sifatnya 'sekalian thank you' dari seseorang yang pernah aku tolong. But then I feel so grateful this year, more grateful than the previous years.
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.
Sebagai orang yang percaya bahwa 'memberi itu lebih baik daripada menerima' tentunya aku seneng banget, berarti Allah sudah tidak menganggap aku di level 'penerima' lagi, melainkan aku selalu di posisi 'pemberi'. Ma sha Allah. seneng banget. Ngitungin berkat tahun ini sejak lahiran Karim tahun lalu... Ya Allah kok nggak ada habisnya ya? Anak-anak sehat, keluarga sehat, Sky bisa sekolah, Karim imunisasi full, berhenti kerja full time tapi duit tetep lancar. Ma sha Allah, kebangetan kalo sampe aku ngeluh karena nggak dapet parsel. Which surprisingly aku malah lega.
NO DEBT IS DEBTED.
Dengan nggak nerima parsel, aku seneng juga karena artinya aku dibebaskan dari orang-orang yang (harus) ngasih aku. Padahal aku-nya nggak minta or berharap. Ini berarti aku membebaskan juga orang dari rasa 'harus ngasih parsel ke Novel nih' or so. Ya seneng dong, imagine kalo semua orang harus spend a few hundred K for me padahal bisa dialokasikan ke yang lebih mereka (atau orang lain) butuhkan? Berarti aku membebaskan mereka dari kewajiban padaku, as what I've seen from some people yang memang ngasih parselnya karena 'agenda tahunan' dan bukan bersifat tulus atau perhatian. Well, this isn't entirely wrong, but this affects me if turns out someone gave me something because THEY HAD TO, not because they cared and wanted to. So these people,,, seneng banget I can help people indirectly.
I NEED TO GIVE MORE.
Nggak munafik, sosial itu penuh hukum timbal balik. What you give is what you get. Kalo tahun ini aku nggak dapet parsel, artinya mungkin aku kurang ngasih parsel juga ke orang lain. Bisa jadi. Aku nggak boleh deny that there is a possibility. Do you know why? Karena I have to admit perhaps I haven't given so much this year, and this means I have to give more next yeaar! This gives me a reflecting effect of how I've perhaps forgotten the sense of having workmates. Also I felt guilty for not giving much to those whom I've wanted to give something to. Okay gotta save more!!
GOD GRANTS MUCH BIGGER HAMPERS.
It's plural; hampers. It's from The Kindest; God. It's something absolute; His Promise. Nggak sedikitpun aku sedih, bahkan aku sebenernya seneng karena tahun ini Allah held everything duniawi to save me much better gifts in the future. Faith. It's faith that keeps me sane, happy and pretty. Dan janji Allah itu pasti.
Sharing sekedar sharing, biar yang baca dapet insight betapa pemberian dunia itu nggak ada artinya dibanding permberian dari Sang Pencipta; kesehatan, keluarga, jiwa yang waras, hidup yang overall happy, dan iman. ALHAMDULILLAH.
Thursday 16 May 2019
My Name is Summer (by Yusuf)
It's been a while I haven't written any poem, probably because I lost my sense of art. Believe me, when reality hits very hard, you lost most of your beautiful creative self. Or at least, that's what has caused me not writing anything since last month.
Celebrating Summer, here is the poem written by Yusuf.
SUMMER
My name means peoplegetting having lots of fun on the golden, yellow beaches.
My name stands for the longest holiday of fun, where anyone can do anything.
My name is white clouds being as fluffy asscrumptious tasty candy floss.
My name will mean the taste of delicious, cold ice cream.
My name stands for hard-working bees making yummy honey.
My name means the bright, yellow sun keeping humans warm.
My name is known for wonderful, wet, water fights.
My name means thesky aquamarine sky as blue as the ocean.
My name reminds people about how spectacular it is outside.
My name stands for vibrant, colourful flowers, everywhere like leaves in Autumn.
My name will mean many different types of amazing insects.
My name is known forbright light green grass tickling people.
My name is Summer.
I hope you have an amazing Summer!
Celebrating Summer, here is the poem written by Yusuf.
SUMMER
My name means people
My name stands for the longest holiday of fun, where anyone can do anything.
My name is white clouds being as fluffy as
My name will mean the taste of delicious, cold ice cream.
My name stands for hard-working bees making yummy honey.
My name means the bright, yellow sun keeping humans warm.
My name is known for wonderful, wet, water fights.
My name means the
My name reminds people about how spectacular it is outside.
My name stands for vibrant, colourful flowers, everywhere like leaves in Autumn.
My name will mean many different types of amazing insects.
My name is known for
My name is Summer.
I hope you have an amazing Summer!
Wednesday 27 March 2019
Surat dari Dylan di Zimbabwe.
Eh, maksudnya di Jakarta. Tapi Dylan ini dari Zimbabwe. We talked over Instagram DM the other day and we talked deep about something shallow; my blog. I didn't know this blog had an impact for some people that I think wouldn't care. But Dylan made me realised that actually it's important to update this. Not only because he's still unsure if he has to make his own, or just stay with his Instagram (in collab with Tamana) account to pour down their thoughts, BUT ALSO I need to update my blog, seriously!
So I asked if he wants to be featured on my blog, he said yes. I was thrilled to receive his piece, because personally I think his thoughts and writings are great. They say literal things in the most metaphorical way. I mean look at this writing!!!! (PS: I edited the grammatical sense just to make it.. you know, grammatically okay)
Without a voice
There are certain things in life that make me who I am. The way I cross my legs when
I sit. The way I walk like an English man yet speak like an American while
using African terms. The way I analyze every single person in the room with
my headphones on yet nothing is playing because I just don’t want that
attention. Deliberately avoid that attention because people will always be people.
People will always assume they already know me.
“Hey, who’s your favourite rapper?”
“I have fried chicken, you want some?”
“Have you watched Black Panther yet, or are you from Wakanda?”
Questions that they assume I will be grateful for. Yes, I love rap but I am also in love with
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata because it reminds me of love and the moon.
You can gladly buy me a bucket of KFC but I’m equally happy with opor ayam
from across the street. If Wakanda exists, I really want to go there but my
favourite movie is actually Shutter Island in which not a single black guy played a
main role. Because my hair is in a bunch of curls and my skin is black, don’t
assume all these things on me.
Before I say a word, my questions are answered for me. Before I ask a question,
the answer is already given. Before I make a decision, my voice is not even a
consideration. We live in an era where people will always be people.
Our stories are written down for us and our voices are taken away because
people expect us to be in a certain way. Women should wear pink. Broadway boys
should be gay and black men should enjoy black panther.
-------
That should be great enough for a starter. I'm actually thinking to make some agreement or formal contract to bind him and make sure he keeps writing. LOL.
Anyway, this is to another content and another post.
I really hope I'd be able to produce more post on April!
Cheers.
-------
A little bit about Dylan.
So we met in my class, he was sitting in with his girlfriend (?) who was my student. He was very active and actually quite full of criticism and cool ideas. Back then, I taught Indonesian State Philosophy, it's a subject where we discuss Indonesian history, philosophy and nationalism. As a foreigner, Dylan got a nice bit of Indonesian amazing points and history, he actually picked up so much about Indonesian culture and nature. I was amused by how much he actually absorbs those things about MY country, and too bad that I know only a little about HIS country. Perhaps this is another reason I should travel to African countries. LOL.
Anyway, Dylan is majoring in International Relations, which was a shame because he should've been in my class (international programme) instead. Nevertheless, he wants what he wants; studying diplomacy and international relations, so I really hope he enjoys what he's picked.
Dylan loves music and public speaking. Little that I know that he also likes Indonesian food (and girls).
So I asked if he wants to be featured on my blog, he said yes. I was thrilled to receive his piece, because personally I think his thoughts and writings are great. They say literal things in the most metaphorical way. I mean look at this writing!!!! (PS: I edited the grammatical sense just to make it.. you know, grammatically okay)
Without a voice
There are certain things in life that make me who I am. The way I cross my legs when
I sit. The way I walk like an English man yet speak like an American while
using African terms. The way I analyze every single person in the room with
my headphones on yet nothing is playing because I just don’t want that
attention. Deliberately avoid that attention because people will always be people.
People will always assume they already know me.
“Hey, who’s your favourite rapper?”
“I have fried chicken, you want some?”
“Have you watched Black Panther yet, or are you from Wakanda?”
Questions that they assume I will be grateful for. Yes, I love rap but I am also in love with
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata because it reminds me of love and the moon.
You can gladly buy me a bucket of KFC but I’m equally happy with opor ayam
from across the street. If Wakanda exists, I really want to go there but my
favourite movie is actually Shutter Island in which not a single black guy played a
main role. Because my hair is in a bunch of curls and my skin is black, don’t
assume all these things on me.
Before I say a word, my questions are answered for me. Before I ask a question,
the answer is already given. Before I make a decision, my voice is not even a
consideration. We live in an era where people will always be people.
Our stories are written down for us and our voices are taken away because
people expect us to be in a certain way. Women should wear pink. Broadway boys
should be gay and black men should enjoy black panther.
-------
That should be great enough for a starter. I'm actually thinking to make some agreement or formal contract to bind him and make sure he keeps writing. LOL.
Anyway, this is to another content and another post.
I really hope I'd be able to produce more post on April!
Cheers.
-------
A little bit about Dylan.
So we met in my class, he was sitting in with his girlfriend (?) who was my student. He was very active and actually quite full of criticism and cool ideas. Back then, I taught Indonesian State Philosophy, it's a subject where we discuss Indonesian history, philosophy and nationalism. As a foreigner, Dylan got a nice bit of Indonesian amazing points and history, he actually picked up so much about Indonesian culture and nature. I was amused by how much he actually absorbs those things about MY country, and too bad that I know only a little about HIS country. Perhaps this is another reason I should travel to African countries. LOL.
Anyway, Dylan is majoring in International Relations, which was a shame because he should've been in my class (international programme) instead. Nevertheless, he wants what he wants; studying diplomacy and international relations, so I really hope he enjoys what he's picked.
Dylan loves music and public speaking. Little that I know that he also likes Indonesian food (and girls).
Monday 4 February 2019
Physical Pain No More
After giving birth, believe me, there is no more physical pain that can hurt me.
Skylar.
Jam 1 dini hari tanggal 17 Mei 2018 ada tendangan kenceng banget di perut setelah Eqi peluk perut yang berisi anaknya. Karena berasa aneh, aku cek dan ternyata ada flek merah. Okay, mencoba tidak panik karena sakitnya juga belum parah, aku dan Eqi ngambil prepared bag kami dan ngajak mama untuk ke RS.
Sampe RS jam 2 pagi, pas cek pembukaan baru pembukaan 2. Meaning masih lama nih, apalagi kelahiran pertama, pasti masih lama. Mulesnya berangsur makin kuat tapi pembukaan mentok di 4 sampe sore hari. Berbagai upaya dilakukan dari jalan kaki, jongkok, berbaring untuk memancing bukaan, tetep belum ada perkembangan. Sore hari menjelang malam, Obgyn kesayangan kita semua, Dr Soedibjo Toeloes, merekomendasikan tindakan cesar karena mulesnya sudah parah tapi belum ada pembukaan. Perdebatan dimulai antar bumil dan mamanya. Bumil mulai pertimbangan cesar, tapi mama insist normal aja, toh belum pecah ketuban. Kata mama "sabar, rasakan dengan nikmat, itu yang namanya melahirkan memang gitu". Jadilah tangisan menahan sakit ditambah menahan sedih karena mama selalu wrong wording and tone kalo mau nasehatin anaknya.
Jam 12 malam, mules makin hebat dan dokter pengganti karena Obgyn kesayangan kita semua tidak sanggup tindakan malam. Obgyn pengganti namanya dr Zaenuri, and he is very old. Like believe me he is so old that I was full of doubt if he can actually help me. But he did. I pushed like dozen times but the baby went in again. It went out a bit, then back in. So forth until I kicked the Doctor's waist so hard, and still won't come out. They finally made a call to use a vacuum machine, I almost gave up. BUT MIRACLE HAPPENED. I pushed one more time while waiting for the machine to come, and....
jam 00:45, lahirlah sesosok mungil tanpa nangis karena ternyata sudah nelen sebagian air ketuban. Skylar.
Seusai dibersihkan, Skylar didekatkan aku untuk aku cium, lalu diambil lagi untuk disedot ketuban dalam mulut dan tenggorokannya karena tadi belum usai. Selebihnya, I passed out. I think I remember beberapa jahitan tapi kemudian ya pingsan aja ngga inget apa-apa.
I woke up in my ward, with my mother and my husband next to me. Everything was surreal, tiring, satisfying and of course until today, it's challenging. This was almost 3 years ago, and the pain is still mesmerising.
Karim.
Karim was the easiest during pregnancy, I took him to so many places with so many transport modes; bus, train, motorbike. All went well. During my second pregnancy, Eqi was so much more mature and supportive. I enjoyed having Karim so much because it was easy. So easy that I literally only went to check up 4 times, then I changed into a cheaper Doctor, Prof Ali Baziad. He was so fun and kind, old but smart, which is nice. I only met him twice before labor but we had that connection.
4 June 2019, 3 PM and Eqi had his day off from the gym to break fasting (yes it was Ramadan) at home with me. Perkiraan dari awal memang lahiran antara 1 sampai 10 Juni. So between those dates he managed to go back and forth more often rather than staying at the gym on weekdays and go home on weekend only. I still played with Sky until at 3 PM I felt a bit of contraction and another mucus. So I asked Eqi to go check to the nearest doula. She checked and it was only 2 cm dilated. Baru pembukaan dua mah masih lama lah ya, berpatokan pada anak pertama.
We continued chatting cooking and playing until Magrib time, I prepared break fast for Eqi. I made myself indomie, until isya I finally decided to as Eqi to the hospital. Setelah solat, aku titipin Sky ke mama dengan berbagai pengertian bahwa "ibu mau lahirin Karim dulu ya, Sky jangan nakal sama mama" and that was the first time I left Sky overnight. She was so brilliant, smart and lovely.
We arrived at the hospital at around 9ish PM, and after admitted the data and check this and that, the doula said it's been 4cm dilated. Kondisi bayi oke dilihat dari monitor jantung CTG, tekanan darah ibu juga normal. Jam 10 malem, sakitnya makin nggak nyaman, pembukaan cuma naik dikit ke 5. Setiap jam, mules dan kontraksi makin kuat, Eqi non stop ngelus-ngelus punggung, pinggang, pegang tangan, dan ngasih minum ke aku.
Aku coba tidur, Eqi juga tidur di sampingku. Setiap 15 menit aku kesakitan, aku remes tangan Eqi sampe dia bangun trus dia elus-elus lagi. Sekitar jam 11 lewat, mama dateng. Aku kaget, karena dia ninggalin Sky sama tetangga kami (yang bisa dipercaya sih memang). Mama nunggu di luar, Rio juga dateng. Agak lega karena banyak yang nunggu di luar, dan Eqi di samping.
Jam 12an, Prof Ali dikabarkan on the way ke rumah sakit, karena pembukaan sudah di 8. Sakitnya bertubi-tubi dan aku cuma bisa zikir, berdoa, nahan sakit, minta peluk Eqi. Jam 1 malam Prof Ali datang, dan pas pembukaan sudah ke 10. Aku inget banget, jernih ingetanku, suster dan asisten RS bersiap dengan semua peralatan. Kakiku diminta ditekuk dan Prof mulai suruh aku dorong.
Kerasa banget air ketuban pecah dan cairan membasahi paha sampai bokongku. I wasn't sure if it was ketuban or blood, but it's just wet and very painful. I pushed, took a breath, pushed, took a breath, for a couple of times. Eqi was holding my hand from beside and kept on kissing my forehead saying "ayo kamu bisa, dorong yah... bagus, nah iya, tarik nafas, dorong lagi... ayo bentar lagi kok.." and so on. He held my hand full of love yet I could feel he's nervous too. He kissed me so many times to make sure that I am sober and strong enough to keep on pushing.
Not as long and as hard when I was with Sky, Karim came out smoother but more painful on the legs. He came out nicely and when the Doctor announced "laki laki ya bu" I felt so relieved, Eqi kissed my forehead saying "good job bu" and he performed azan to Karim. I asked for Karim to be latched to my breast and he sucked VERY GOOD. I was so relieved, so happy, so accomplished, at the same time so guilty to Sky that I had to share the love.
---
Two babies in 3 years in a row. I surprised myself of how much I actually am capable of. Since then, I have never felt anything more painful to my physical condition than going into labour.
Skylar.
Jam 1 dini hari tanggal 17 Mei 2018 ada tendangan kenceng banget di perut setelah Eqi peluk perut yang berisi anaknya. Karena berasa aneh, aku cek dan ternyata ada flek merah. Okay, mencoba tidak panik karena sakitnya juga belum parah, aku dan Eqi ngambil prepared bag kami dan ngajak mama untuk ke RS.
Sampe RS jam 2 pagi, pas cek pembukaan baru pembukaan 2. Meaning masih lama nih, apalagi kelahiran pertama, pasti masih lama. Mulesnya berangsur makin kuat tapi pembukaan mentok di 4 sampe sore hari. Berbagai upaya dilakukan dari jalan kaki, jongkok, berbaring untuk memancing bukaan, tetep belum ada perkembangan. Sore hari menjelang malam, Obgyn kesayangan kita semua, Dr Soedibjo Toeloes, merekomendasikan tindakan cesar karena mulesnya sudah parah tapi belum ada pembukaan. Perdebatan dimulai antar bumil dan mamanya. Bumil mulai pertimbangan cesar, tapi mama insist normal aja, toh belum pecah ketuban. Kata mama "sabar, rasakan dengan nikmat, itu yang namanya melahirkan memang gitu". Jadilah tangisan menahan sakit ditambah menahan sedih karena mama selalu wrong wording and tone kalo mau nasehatin anaknya.
Jam 12 malam, mules makin hebat dan dokter pengganti karena Obgyn kesayangan kita semua tidak sanggup tindakan malam. Obgyn pengganti namanya dr Zaenuri, and he is very old. Like believe me he is so old that I was full of doubt if he can actually help me. But he did. I pushed like dozen times but the baby went in again. It went out a bit, then back in. So forth until I kicked the Doctor's waist so hard, and still won't come out. They finally made a call to use a vacuum machine, I almost gave up. BUT MIRACLE HAPPENED. I pushed one more time while waiting for the machine to come, and....
jam 00:45, lahirlah sesosok mungil tanpa nangis karena ternyata sudah nelen sebagian air ketuban. Skylar.
Seusai dibersihkan, Skylar didekatkan aku untuk aku cium, lalu diambil lagi untuk disedot ketuban dalam mulut dan tenggorokannya karena tadi belum usai. Selebihnya, I passed out. I think I remember beberapa jahitan tapi kemudian ya pingsan aja ngga inget apa-apa.
I woke up in my ward, with my mother and my husband next to me. Everything was surreal, tiring, satisfying and of course until today, it's challenging. This was almost 3 years ago, and the pain is still mesmerising.
 |
| The first time Sky met her baby brother - 5 June 2019 |
Karim.
Karim was the easiest during pregnancy, I took him to so many places with so many transport modes; bus, train, motorbike. All went well. During my second pregnancy, Eqi was so much more mature and supportive. I enjoyed having Karim so much because it was easy. So easy that I literally only went to check up 4 times, then I changed into a cheaper Doctor, Prof Ali Baziad. He was so fun and kind, old but smart, which is nice. I only met him twice before labor but we had that connection.
4 June 2019, 3 PM and Eqi had his day off from the gym to break fasting (yes it was Ramadan) at home with me. Perkiraan dari awal memang lahiran antara 1 sampai 10 Juni. So between those dates he managed to go back and forth more often rather than staying at the gym on weekdays and go home on weekend only. I still played with Sky until at 3 PM I felt a bit of contraction and another mucus. So I asked Eqi to go check to the nearest doula. She checked and it was only 2 cm dilated. Baru pembukaan dua mah masih lama lah ya, berpatokan pada anak pertama.
We continued chatting cooking and playing until Magrib time, I prepared break fast for Eqi. I made myself indomie, until isya I finally decided to as Eqi to the hospital. Setelah solat, aku titipin Sky ke mama dengan berbagai pengertian bahwa "ibu mau lahirin Karim dulu ya, Sky jangan nakal sama mama" and that was the first time I left Sky overnight. She was so brilliant, smart and lovely.
We arrived at the hospital at around 9ish PM, and after admitted the data and check this and that, the doula said it's been 4cm dilated. Kondisi bayi oke dilihat dari monitor jantung CTG, tekanan darah ibu juga normal. Jam 10 malem, sakitnya makin nggak nyaman, pembukaan cuma naik dikit ke 5. Setiap jam, mules dan kontraksi makin kuat, Eqi non stop ngelus-ngelus punggung, pinggang, pegang tangan, dan ngasih minum ke aku.
Aku coba tidur, Eqi juga tidur di sampingku. Setiap 15 menit aku kesakitan, aku remes tangan Eqi sampe dia bangun trus dia elus-elus lagi. Sekitar jam 11 lewat, mama dateng. Aku kaget, karena dia ninggalin Sky sama tetangga kami (yang bisa dipercaya sih memang). Mama nunggu di luar, Rio juga dateng. Agak lega karena banyak yang nunggu di luar, dan Eqi di samping.
Jam 12an, Prof Ali dikabarkan on the way ke rumah sakit, karena pembukaan sudah di 8. Sakitnya bertubi-tubi dan aku cuma bisa zikir, berdoa, nahan sakit, minta peluk Eqi. Jam 1 malam Prof Ali datang, dan pas pembukaan sudah ke 10. Aku inget banget, jernih ingetanku, suster dan asisten RS bersiap dengan semua peralatan. Kakiku diminta ditekuk dan Prof mulai suruh aku dorong.
Kerasa banget air ketuban pecah dan cairan membasahi paha sampai bokongku. I wasn't sure if it was ketuban or blood, but it's just wet and very painful. I pushed, took a breath, pushed, took a breath, for a couple of times. Eqi was holding my hand from beside and kept on kissing my forehead saying "ayo kamu bisa, dorong yah... bagus, nah iya, tarik nafas, dorong lagi... ayo bentar lagi kok.." and so on. He held my hand full of love yet I could feel he's nervous too. He kissed me so many times to make sure that I am sober and strong enough to keep on pushing.
Not as long and as hard when I was with Sky, Karim came out smoother but more painful on the legs. He came out nicely and when the Doctor announced "laki laki ya bu" I felt so relieved, Eqi kissed my forehead saying "good job bu" and he performed azan to Karim. I asked for Karim to be latched to my breast and he sucked VERY GOOD. I was so relieved, so happy, so accomplished, at the same time so guilty to Sky that I had to share the love.
---
Two babies in 3 years in a row. I surprised myself of how much I actually am capable of. Since then, I have never felt anything more painful to my physical condition than going into labour.
Thursday 10 January 2019
A Story about A Little Boy
Hi!
My name is Ryan. I'm 13 and currently going to a secondary school near my house. My mom is a widow, my dad passed away when I was 12, so yeah, around a year ago, due to heart attack. I have to younger brothers, 10 and 2. They are okay I guess.
My favourite subject is Religious Study and Mathematics. My best friend's name in class is Albert. Albert likes chocolate a lot, he is fat but very kind and always smiles.
I want to tell you a story about the girl that I like in school. She is a year older than me, her name is Starlet. One day. she will be my wife. She has long curly hair that's always tied up and makes a very nice high bun. She loves sport, because she always plays basketball with her classmates during class-break. I like her, she's very attractive and sporty, and she's good in basketball too!
One day, we met in the canteen, she brought her lunch box and I brought mine too. Because we were standing in front of each other very close, I got nervous and I dropped my lunch box. All my food was scrambled around the floor and I was so embarrassed. She helped me make up my lunch box and clean the food on the floor. She then offered me her food, and I refused because I was too shy and did not expect that to happen. She insisted and she dragged me to sit next to her at some table near us.
We shared food. Oh my god! We Shared Food. Me and Starla were sharing food. It was by far the highest achievement I've gotten in my life. We didn't talk much. I mean I didn't talk much, I only listened to her talking about her dog and how much she wanted to join cheerleader when she goes to high school later on.
I remembered I only smiled throughout that day and told my mom what happened right after I arrived home. My mom only smiled and then hugged me. I was confused, she did not say anything. I was so confused then she made me dinner.
Days after that, I haven't got any chance to talk to her again in school. I saw her a couple of times, but she never saw me back. She was either busy with her friends, or simply not looking around to my direction. That lunch was probably our first and last interaction I guess.
Until today, she never talked to me again even when she saw me. It's weird, but I take it as a normal thing. I think Starla simply does not want to be friends with a kid like me, and I was always okay with that thought. My classmates called me fat and ugly, so that's probably the reason why Starla never wants to make friends with me.
But that lunch was, I thought, quite a turning point because I remembered very well she talked to me excitingly. But yeah, a lunch is a just a lunch, right? It does not mean anything. So I moved on.
My name is Ryan. I'm 13 and currently going to a secondary school near my house. My mom is a widow, my dad passed away when I was 12, so yeah, around a year ago, due to heart attack. I have to younger brothers, 10 and 2. They are okay I guess.
My favourite subject is Religious Study and Mathematics. My best friend's name in class is Albert. Albert likes chocolate a lot, he is fat but very kind and always smiles.
I want to tell you a story about the girl that I like in school. She is a year older than me, her name is Starlet. One day. she will be my wife. She has long curly hair that's always tied up and makes a very nice high bun. She loves sport, because she always plays basketball with her classmates during class-break. I like her, she's very attractive and sporty, and she's good in basketball too!
One day, we met in the canteen, she brought her lunch box and I brought mine too. Because we were standing in front of each other very close, I got nervous and I dropped my lunch box. All my food was scrambled around the floor and I was so embarrassed. She helped me make up my lunch box and clean the food on the floor. She then offered me her food, and I refused because I was too shy and did not expect that to happen. She insisted and she dragged me to sit next to her at some table near us.
We shared food. Oh my god! We Shared Food. Me and Starla were sharing food. It was by far the highest achievement I've gotten in my life. We didn't talk much. I mean I didn't talk much, I only listened to her talking about her dog and how much she wanted to join cheerleader when she goes to high school later on.
I remembered I only smiled throughout that day and told my mom what happened right after I arrived home. My mom only smiled and then hugged me. I was confused, she did not say anything. I was so confused then she made me dinner.
Days after that, I haven't got any chance to talk to her again in school. I saw her a couple of times, but she never saw me back. She was either busy with her friends, or simply not looking around to my direction. That lunch was probably our first and last interaction I guess.
Until today, she never talked to me again even when she saw me. It's weird, but I take it as a normal thing. I think Starla simply does not want to be friends with a kid like me, and I was always okay with that thought. My classmates called me fat and ugly, so that's probably the reason why Starla never wants to make friends with me.
But that lunch was, I thought, quite a turning point because I remembered very well she talked to me excitingly. But yeah, a lunch is a just a lunch, right? It does not mean anything. So I moved on.
Wednesday 9 January 2019
Hello 2019
Writing this while waiting for my Obgyn to call my turn. I hate it that they call the line based on phone appointment, not based on d-day re-registration. I got number 7 while I got here at the clinic first. I hate it. It's not efficient and so time wasting, why isn't Indonesian people upgrading their system to make everyone use the best of their energy, time and money. WHY?! Now it's just number 3, and I've been waiting since 2 hours ago... shameful.
Instead, I'm watching YouTube video about my ObGyn lol.
Be right back!
Instead, I'm watching YouTube video about my ObGyn lol.
Be right back!
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