My Phone, It Beeps Because I Missed it.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

I used to be an I Miss You slut. Expressing feelings and telling my thoughts.
These days, I'm just going to post either on my Tumblr or here.
These things are more durable, memorable and less painful.

I had a dream once, you complained about me complaining.
You wondered why am I never satisfied with what I've got.
You think I was ungrateful demanding bitch that always looked things from the bad side.
You claimed you have tried and you have stayed.

I think I hold on tighter than ever.
And I believe you don't know that I have more positive thoughts than before.
I believe that even if you knew, you would not care.

As long as you think there isn't any fight, nor matter to discuss, so everything is going to be ok.
I think I promised once to not post anything about feeling anymore.
But this is not feeling, this is boredom alternative.
Instead of cursing my reflection in the mirror, or gossiping with my friends.

This is just a poem, that doesn't look like a poem.
But never mind, I am no longer an I Miss You slut.
I mean, you don't care anyway.
As long as everything is okay, you don't care any way.
It's PMS.

Dear Students

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

So I have been a teacher for a couple of months now. I just have the right time now to write this. I feel sorry for myself for not finding some time to intensely write again. Yet, here I go.

You guys, students, probably never thought of what I feel now as a teacher, a lecturer, someone who spent 90 minutes of my life in a day to talk in class for and with and to you. I love being the centre of attention, but that's not it. I tell you what.

It is an enormous happiness when I see each and every face of you looking back at me when I explain the lesson. It's your confusion, your smiles, your giggles, your enthusiasm, and even when you are mumbling with your friends when I talk. I LOVE IT.

I love looking at you, telling you things about exam and homework. Shouting and yelling sometimes because you guys are too noisy and busy with yourself and ignore me. I love when you are all silent and feel nervous. I love when you're complaining about the grades I gave you. I love when you look at me in admiration or hatred because I speak too fast and sometimes giving you hard times. I love when you ask me unimportant things. I love when you're joking about how cool I am. I love when you succeed your own goal in achieving good marks on my subject. I love when you make mistakes and you laughed at it when I point it out. I love when you correct your work according to my direction. I love when you told me I was wrong and my handwriting is unreadable. I love your effort, I love your banters to your peers. I love how you say good things about me just to impress me. I even love when you say something bad about me.

I just want to write here the things I cannot tell you, I cannot tell and even show how much I love having you with all your level of enthusiasm and intelligence. I don't care how naughty and rebellious you are, I enjoy teaching you. I'm probably not the best, but as long as some of you hit on me, I know I'm cool enough to give you that confidence. And most of all, I love when you are around and wondering how could you all improve. I am confidence that even in my first months and semester, I already and will enjoy having many kinds of you in the near future.

Ask me things, and I may not always answer you correctly, but then I know you care about what you want to learn. Ask me things, and you will know that I'm probably not as smart as you thought I was, but then I know, I can also learn from you.


Pelajaran Hari Ini

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Barusan otak kecil gue ini mikir nikmat Tuhan yang sering gak terasa adalah kemampuanNya memberikan gue mimpi di setiap gue tidur. Most of mimpi gue adalah menyenangkan dan jadi penyemangat hidup di hari berikutnya. Impas.