Another Note to Boyfriend

bukan semata-mata karena lagi ditinggal mama ke luar kota, bukan juga karena maag lagi kambuh melanda, apalagi karena capek kerja, but I felt like I bloody wanted to write. 

I never knew what was in my boyfriend's head when he sent me pictures of him being in Emirates Stadium. Most boys, regardless with football-enthusiastic girlfriends or not, are going to be totally reckless and careless about any other things when it comes to their favourite football team. My boyfriend? So not!!!

He had the time to tell me how it went: Giroud versi aku!

I was honestly exhausted from work and fell asleep immediately after I hit the bed. I skipped dinner and I still managed to hear his voice before I went to sleep. I tell you what? There's this difference between sending a voicenote when you really mean it, and the live phone call one when you're not in the mood; voicenote wins! Too great, my boyfriend has this amazing voice recorded with full-heart to me the nights before, and when I hear it, I feel like he is actually around me to say it right-away, directly to me. It worked, I fell asleep very tight!


You know what's better that night? It's when I woke up later that night (yeah, screw the stomachace) and I found his PDA twitter update to me!!! HOW DRAMATICALLY SENSITIVE AND FULL LOVING MY BOYFRIEND IS!!! Ok, well, I think it's just my type of 'great-you-love-me-that-much-and-I-feel-so-blessed' happiness and favourite, especially that we are away. BUT STILL, I am so very relieved that at the end of the tiring week, it's me that he's thinking of.

Add caption: Well, what caption suits this better? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?

Shit, I don't know why I type something like this at 3 AM Indonesian time while my stomach's rumbling and I'm gonna have an early morning run later. I hope I don't sound cheesy afterall, but I should really justify this: I CANNOT STAND TO TELL THE WORLD THAT I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND AND I AM SO LUCKY TO BE LOVED BY HIM!



Dear boyfriend,
if you could love me this much, then I would love you very much more than that.
You'll see. XXX.

A proposal (part five)

"What's with the candle, love?"
"I upset you yesterday, didn't I? Should have not proposed you that early, we should take it slow"
"Hey, if there was anyone who upset anyone, it's me upsetting you, I'm sorry. I really wish I could say yes, but, I just don't want to fake it and be unsure about it"
"It's okay, I love how we talk about anything confidently like this, randomly and nicely"
"I love this too! I don't want things to change!"
"I love your smile"
"Oh come on, you make this feels like a second date! Stop it! hahaha..."
"And I love when you're blushing"
"Dude, break it off! Hahaha.."
"What do you like about me, when we're having dinner?"
"Umm, there are many! You want me to name one? It's absurd!"
"Come on, on the top of your head?"
"Your gentle hand on mine"
"And?"
"You said on the top of my head! That's it!"
"Only it?"

"Hey, I love your smile too, I love the vein on your forehead when I ask you silly things. I love listening to your absurd futuristic ideas, I love how you analyse people around us. I love the way you read what I want on the menu. I love the way you make sure I've got my water ready for me even before I start eating. I love that you make sure I like the food that I eat. I love you!"
"Are those the things you'd like to constantly see? Or it's like an occasional favourite?"
"Well, I think it'd be the things I always treasure when I'm having a meal with you"
"Have I changed since our first dinner date?"
"Not that I know of, but you're getting paranoid every time I have my first food bite. It's like.. you're afraid I'm poisoned! Hahaha.."
"Hahaha.. I'm just worried you don't enjoy your time with me"
"That's non-sense! Being with you is like the only thing I look forward each day when working hour's finished. That's why I rushed and forgot my jacket most evenings; to see you down there in the lobby for me"
"Really? Well, picking you up in the office is like my favourite thing too! And see your daily make up fade away, you're just more beautiful when I make you smile at the end of the day"
"Oh dude, cut me some slack! I love you! We sound like a couple of dumb teenagers now!"
"I don't care if it gives me an idiot to show how much I love being with you"
"Am I blessed or what? Hahaha.. hey, let's eat!"....."watch me and my first bite now" .... "I'm okay, this is good, dear paranoid but lovely boyfriend"


-to be continued-

A proposal (part four)

"it was a no, so sorry guys."
"ooh, what's wrong?"
"well, she looked like she's not ready yet to settle down... with me"
"fuck no, she must be undermining herself too much, right? I don't understand why, she's been so fine with everything about you guys, your family both, your friends, the work, and us, the your-boyfriends!"
"I know, right! There must be something to fix, I gotta re-propose to her!"
"Yeah, you better man! I know how much you want to be with her. But you gotta be sure that re-proposing is the best thing. And make sure she will say yes this time"


-----


"Do you wanna hang around the casual? Or a dinner?"
"Yeah, a dinner would work, I'll be hungry by that time, dear! Besides, the waitress aren't so flirtatious there with you, handsome!"
"Haha, they cannot beat you in any way!"
"I know, I've got your heart and full-attention just the way you've got mine!
"Great, so I'll see you!"
"Love you!"


-to be continued-

A proposal (part three)

"What drove you so mad, man?"

"I don't know. She's having this major disturbance in her head. She's just constantly changing and I think it's gonna be a hard living ahead with her."

"Totally, dude! I thought you've gone insane. How're you gonna handle her? What if she said yes?"

"She will, eventually, I just feel right when I'm with her. She's broken, but still, she does everything for me. This is worth the risk and consequences, I guess."

"What if she leaves you?"

"That is.... I don't know. She's done so much to me that marrying her is the only choice I can nicely do in return. I wanna be with her with all she is."

"You don't know what you're gonna miss man"

"Oh, trust me I know, though I haven't thought of how will I do it. But, come on. It's her. She's worth the losing all these bastard things with my buddies. I wanna grow up, sit down with one particular lovely person each night and share everything with one person; not share one thing with every person, if you know what I mean"

"Yeah, let's hope she'd say "yes" to your stupid idea."

"Let's hope so, jackass!"

"Well, I gotta be honest, she seemed so independent. What makes you she'd give up her free and single life to be with you?"

"Honestly, it's my perseverance that does."



-to be continued-

A proposal (part two)

"this is a truly big event. I'm grateful for your participation and passion in this. remember, it's like a life to us; if you succeed, then you've gained it. if you failed, then you're being given a lesson. don't run away from the risk and consequences, just be prepared. and take the leap."

"hey, sorry to cut you off, I need to make a call to my boyfriend one minute!"

"where are you going?"

"answering his proposal last night"

-to be continued-

A proposal.

"Getting married? Are you... Serious..ly nuts?"
"What? Why?"
"Are you sure wanna be attached.. To me?"
"Yeah, hell yeah I do, do you?"
"It's not the idea of, you know, being with you for the rest of my life. It's about spending the time only with one person; me. Aren't we gonna be bored to each other? Are we gonna go home and tell the truth that we miss the free single living? Are we really gonna be open up about anything to each other..."
"Yes, yes, yes. We're gonna share everything, we wake up next to each oter, we fight about many things, we make up to our best, we grow up and grow old together.."
"How are we gonna do all that?"
"How have we been doing all that? How did we survive this relationship?"
"Well, seriously, you're like very perfect for me, but am I?"
"Yes, you are. Trust me you are. If there's anyone in this world that I'd like to spend my life with, it's you. If there's anyone that I'd like to be the mother of my children, it's gotta be you. I'm sure of it. We've been thru... I know this is too early, but I just knew! I want you."
"Dude..that's... I love you, you know that I really wanna be with you no matter what"
"Then marry me, will you?"
.....



"Is it rude if I ask you to give me some time to think about it? Do I sound so not like any normal girls who'd just flattered, melted and say 'yes I do'?"
"No, take your time. I'll wait. We can always wait. We always do."
"God, the idea of being committed and attached, with a very convincing person like you... Freaks me out"
"Hey, what are you afraid of?"
"No, no. I'm not afraid of anything. It's just, life changes, people do too. I feel like... I don't see it... Umm... I'm not sure we're gonna be this sure today a couple decades from now..."
"Well, we all are changing. With you, I'm gonna change too, into a more mature and wise us, we're just doing it together instead of by ourselves"
"Really, I'm really sorry, you gotta give me time now. I am sorry.."
"Don't be, think about it first"
"Oh, I feel terrible now.. I'm supposed to say yes to this, but I make it complicated and annoying. I am so sorry I can't be simpler than that."
"No no, that's why I like you. That's what makes you different than any other women who easily fall down and say yes without thinking deeper. You're always thoughtful, analytical, and concern about many details. You don't do things because you only feel like you want it, but you think carefully about what you need and what you want, smart. I like that, I want this to be OUR decision, not just MY proposal and you just say 'yes' to it. I want you to think it over, and tell me when you're ready. I want this to be ours."
......
"Don't worry, I still love you"
"I know you do, and I swear to God I love you too, more than you know. I just need time for this."
"Yes, dear. Take your time. I'm always here, loving you."
"I love you"








-to be continued-

Dan kamu, selalu begitu.

Selamat tanggal Tujuh, kesayanganku.
Nggak seharipun lewat tanpa bayangan kamu di sekitar aku nemenin aku.
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Nggak se-sore-pun lewat tanpa sapaan tulus Selamat Pagi-ku buat kamu.


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