Catatan Akhir Tahun

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Here we go again sampe di akhir taun dan semakin banyak yang gue nggak tau semakin kesini. Semakin tua umur gue semakin bodoh sebetulnya gue selama ini.

January
Who doesn't love the new spirit? NONE! I got my new semester coming and so ready to become a teacher! Salah satu kelas yang gue suka adalah 18-4A. They are stunning, creative and lovely. Yah biasalah some of them hate me, but who does not? I mean waktu gue student juga I hate some teachers whom people loved. Tapi that doesn't stop me from loving my students. Along the semester, this class has always been the spirit of my Thursday morning.



February
I was assigned with three advisee; Vita, Indah, Kharisma. They are beautiful, diligent and super awesome! Susah gampang sih bimbing mereka karena sebenernya merekanya rajin, bahkan gue sampe kewalahan dan parno sendiri apakah mereka akan lulus karena waktu mereka sebagain anak extend mereka cuma punya waktu sedikit. Alhamdulillah sih semua lancar dan mereka lulus.

March
Jadi asdosnya dosen dan dekan paling kece se-LSPR itu rasanya wow banget. Megang 3 kelas marketing yang ciamik dan project yang luar biasa bareng sama museum di Jakarta. Ide mereka sebenrnya out of the box banget, original dan executable meskipun along the way yaa namanya event pasti ada aja hambatannya. Anyhow, seneng bisa assist mereka. I found a new spirit. And Real Madrid WON THE 19th COPA DEL REY!!!

April
It's heartbreaking that Rio nggak bisa berangkat ke Aussie this year. Some of his subjects fail him dan akhirnya harus ngulang sambil nunggu intake Januari taun depan. Family matters are just as fun as Student League too. I was assigned to be a coordinator for Research Club dan seneng banget rasanya ketemu anak-anak yang eager untuk belajar dan berorganisasi. We talked and planned out some brilliant things for the club. I love my job like at the toppest level of loving something.



May
Man United is sacking Moyes and Giggs came to substitute the position. It is a big turn as the team were losing over every team with such unbelievable performance. Meanwhile pre-event para museum itu mulai mengusik weekend gue, rasanya semangat aja bisa gabung sama project marketing branding yang digagas oleh para mahasiswa. Oiya, ternyata marking paper students itu menyedihkan ya, susah dan bikin degdegan hahahaha.

June
Dad's birthday, Boyfriend's birthday, PUASA!!! Probably the best mid-year I have ever had. I managed to buy both of my lovely men barang yang bisa mereka pake sehari-hari dan nggak cuma jadi hiasan di kamar hahaha. Anyhow, puasa taun ini diisi dengan final test para mahasiswa. Ini menegangkan juga, tapi I think I managed to handle all of them wisely. Sedih harus let them go ke semester berikutnya, tapi seneng juga karena it means mereka akan sering ketemu gue di kampus B dan C.

July
Alhamdulillah masih bisa mudik. Alhamdulillah masih bisa ketemu keluarga dan ditanya "kapan nikah?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Alhamdulillah para mahasiswaku lulus semua mata kuliah English dan event marketing juga sukses semua. Berhubung libur panjang ini agak membengongkan, akhirnya gue merencanakan beberapa alternatif liburan. Dan berakhir ke Bali sendiri, dan seru! Rasanya emang selalu nagih deh travelling sendiri itu.
Dinner with Fitri




August
Pasca liburan, kerjaan mulai menyerang. Anak anak club kesayangan merencanakan event gedegedean, awal semester jadi PA dan rasanya gemes banget sama mahasiswa semester 7 yang nggak sabaran dan terlalu excited sama program magang dan proposal skripsinya. Gue juga jadi nggak sabaran mulai ngajar lagi setelah vakum ngajar summer break 3 bulan. Gathering with club coordinators ke Taman Safari. Event Reborn.

my another family


September
Birthday Month!!! Setelah gemblengan LDK akhirnya bisa melantik anak-anak club kesayangan. Mereka kasih gue surprise, as much as my boyfriend did. I am so happy surrounded by amazing people!! My students also made me a surprise, yang mana gue sangat terkejut dan baru tau bahwa ini ulah Kak Kiki, my newest and sweetest sister I have just met this year! She is awesome and I love her so much xx
surprise from 18-4A



Oktober
We had a short break up, me and Abel. We made up dan rasanya emang yaudahlah susah juga kalo mau putus beneran, after all that we've been through. Kalo mengutip kata Abel on the day that we made up, "we've been through so much aja, dan sayang kalo putus" HAHAHA. Am I not the luckiest :D :D
Another big thing is LDK. Setelahnya, alhamdulillah nggak tumbang meskipun dapet 12 kelas. I love my ED team so much they are so helpful dan selalu ada buat gue. It's hard to know that Clarissa was leaving tapi ya we must go on. We welcome Vita on board and she is totally the 'it' girl that I happen to fall in love with. yayyers! I also went to Solo for Firman and Jannu's wedding. They are like family to me, so no matter how packed I was that time dan seremuk apapun badan, I went anyway.


November
Alhamdulillah nggak drop sama sekali setelah tiga bulan berkutat dengan kelas malam, deadline sidang, dan persiapan ke Turkey. Yup! I made my mind and we were going to Turkey, me and mom. Another breakthru anak anakku membuat kunjungan ke ANTV, bangga banget punya mereka! Super nggak sabar mau ke Turkey dan memecut diri sendiri ngerjain semua markings dan sidang proposal sendirian. Oh Tuhan indahnya kerja keras~

LSPR Research Club



December.
The anniversary went super smooth and I came to realise how lucky I am to be in a relationship with him. The frowns are worth the safety. GOING TO TURKEY!! Nggak semua orang punya kesempatan bisa ke pergi ke Turki; negara seribu budaya, penggabungan antara peradaban dan gue jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama. Seneng banget bisa akhir taunan sama orang yang paling disayang; mama. Saking senengnya, kabar buruk jatuhnya Air Asia dari Surabaya bikin gue nggak gentar kalo Etihad yang membawa kami pulang kenapa-napa. I mean, I'm with mom, what could possibly go wrong?
Turkey!

Happy Anniversary





 So many more resolutions to fulfil; USS, Brisbane, Umrah!

Here is to another record broken.

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Cie udah lama nggak nulis yang cheesy cheesy karena disibukkan oleh duniawi semata. Hari ini break another record; dating only one guy for two years in a row. It feels.... like a rollercoaster. You know I love rollercoaster.

Nggak ada yang super fancy, nggak ada engagement ring kayak yang beberapa orang suggested, nggak ada fine dining, nggak ada kamar hotel mewah, nggak ada celebration macem-macem yang bikin lupa diri dan flooding social media timeline dangan romantisme anak muda.

I guess first of all because we aren't in that age anyore. Second of all, Abel bukan tipe yang bisa diajak romantis dan jadi keju-kejuan di hari jadian. Third of all, capek dan nggak punya duit HAHAHA.

Anyhow, the meaning is still priceless. He bought me a watch but I will consider that as a reminder that time is valuable. He listens to what I need and he cares about my feeling even at the slightest ability. He is thoughtful and annoying at the same time, and I love it. I'm always crazy about how he always puts me first and before many things. I fall for his smile and silly responses to my stupid quotations and thought.

Here is to another "kapan kawin?" year that I recently don't care too much about, and I'll let people wonder while I enjoy this relationship. Putus nggak putus urusan belakangan, yang penting sayang dan menghargai apa yang kita punya sekarang.

I love you @gsidharta xxx
7 December 2014

You may desire me, but I do not think you value me.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Last night you asked me to pick up your laundry next to your flat. I refused. You also once asked me if I want to double the key set to your flat. I refused.

You texted me about wanting to see me and going out for a movie. I said yes. We talked all night long about stupid things, serious world problem, and absurd imaginations. We shared the same bowl of instant noodles when watching football on telly. I put away the garbage from your flat after our movie night. I think I had the best relationship ever.


Until


You asked me why I laughed so hard on your jokes and only agreeing to only minor things you ask me, I said "why would I do everything for you? you're not going to marry me anyway, let's have fun while we can and save the serious things for later"

Antara Interstellar dan Kebesaran Tuhan

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Jarang jarang kan gue bahas soal agama dan mengekspos sisi religius gue yang setipis kumis Iis Dahlia. Interstellar, Alquran dan kekuatan waktu.

Interstellar bilang, 1 tahun lamanya di luar angkasa sana, let's say wormhole, atau Jupiter, 12 tahun lamanya. Selanjutnya ada perbedaan 23 tahun lagi di cakupan angkasa berikutnya. Wow, I was like, lama amat yah berarti waktu berjalan di sana. Sekilas kepikiran masuk akal di otak gue, karena perbedaan 12 jam dari Indonesia dan Amerika aja benar adanya kok, jadi kenapa perbedaan waktu dari bumi dan lapisan luar Bimasakti fiktif adanya? Simple logic sejauh ini, karena otak gue emang gak sampe kalo logikanya ketinggian.

Dari Al Qur'an yang gue tau, 1 tahun di bumi itu bertahun tahun lamanya di akhirat. Makanya serem kan kalo kita sampe masuk neraka dimana siksaan kita nanti akan sesuai dengan kesalahan kita selama di bumi dikali sekian kalinya. Durasi siksaan kita di neraka juga akan berkali lipat dibanding waktu di bumi. Seinget gue nggak di akhirat aja, bahkan di alam kubur pun demikian.

Kalo dibandingin dengan teori teori sains terutama yang ditekankan di film Interstellar karya Christopher Nolan, berarti angkasa di luar sana, relativitas waktunya adalah lebih lama lagi dibanding relativitas waktu di akhirat.

Mengutip Surat ArRahman ayat 33 dimana Allah mewahyukan:
"Wahai seluruh jin dan manusia, tidaklah kalian sanggup melampaui semesta, surga dan bumi kecuali atas izin Allah. 
Jelas dituliskan secara literal bahwa Allah yang sanggup mengizinkan manusia (dan jin) mengeksplor semesta alam dan seisinya, dengan teknologi, kemampuan berpikir dan temuan temuan manusia lainnya.

Sayang manusia banyak yang melupakan atau mengesampingkan faktor keimanan, ketuhanan dan keilahian, dan justru malah membanggakan kemampuan mereka dalam menjelaskan fenomena alam dengan pengetahuan scientific mereka. Manusia bahkan simply sering merasa bangga atas diri mereka dan merasa unggul dibanding makhluk lainnya. Bahkan sesama manusia-nya pun mereka saling menyombongkan dan menjatuhkan. 

Masih dari film Interstellar, kebesaran Tuhan yang lainnya adalah perasaan dan sensitivitas manusia terhadap rasa cinta dan perasaan kemanusiaan lainnya; rindu (Murphy kepada Cooper dan sebaliknya), benci (Tom kepada kawan Murphy yang ingin menolong anak dan istri Tom), takut (Murphy saat ayahnya akan pergi), protektif (Professor Brand kepada teorinya), terlalu mencintai (Mann kepada dirinya sendiri), terlalu percaya diri (TARS, well I know he's not human, but he's arrogant), terlalu naif (Amelia yang malah membuat Doyle mati), egois (Cooper saat melihat possibility dirinya menjadi hero untuk bumi dan mengabaikan peringatan Murphy) serta sekian banyak perasaan manusia yang bahkan penjelasan psikologis-pun justru akan menguatkan adanya kekuasaan Tuhan dalam segala aspek kehidupan.

Again, masih mengutip dari wahyu Allah di Quran surat Al An'am ayat 59:

"......tidak sehelaipun daun jatuh kecuali Allah mengetahuinya."

Jadi,

nggak usah sejauh nalar ilmiah untuk memahami Interstellar, gue sih yakin Allah itu besar dengan segala kekuasaannya. Dan rugilah manusia yang merasa dirinya tidak berpenguasa, paling berdaya dan paling benar adanya.


Free Idiom

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Everything's coming up roses.
something that you say when a situation is successful in every way
Everything's coming up roses for George at the moment 
he's been promoted at work and he's just got engaged.


Everything's coming up roses.
Fig. Everything is really just excellent.
Life is prosperous.
Life is wonderful. Everything is coming up roses.
Q: How arethings going? A: Everything's coming up roses.

Refleksi

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Bulan ke 23 pacaran sama Abel. Refleksinya banyak banget, lebih banyak dari refleksi apapun yang pernah gue sadari.

Setiap mau ngeluh, inget lagi bahwa lebih penting bertahan dan berjuang daripada being weak.
Setiap mau ngomel, inget lagi bahwa emosi nggak menyelesaikan masalah, justru memperkeruh.
Setiap mau manja, inget lagi bahwa being vulnerable malah akan bikin capeknya makin kerasa.
Setiap mau komplain, inget lagi Abel has done so much too in his limit to make me happy.

Sebenernya bukan seberapa sayang Abel sama gue, jelas beda level dibanding waktu kami baru pacaran dulu. Kali ini lebih ke seberapa kuat kami bisa bareng dan bertahan dengan semua ke-nggak cocok-an kami.

Gue rasa Abel selalu punya pilihan untuk sendiri, ngapain buang waktu dan tenaga pacaran sama gue. But then, enggak. He stays. He keeps trying and we keep trying. I think so far we survived the relationship phases. I don't know for how long. I used to know, I just don't know now.

Tadinya kepikiran sedikit untuk give up. Terus somehow something always hold me back; too much that we have been through together. And I am keen to learn. Gue rasa bukan "udah umur segini males main-main lagi" atau "males move on dan kenal sama orang lain trus mulai dari 0 lagi" atau "ah susah cari yang kayak dia lagi". Gue rasa lebih ke "gue sayang sama dia" dan gue selalu inget kenapa dulu gue mulai.

Ya paling enggak itu alasan gue bertahan. Kalo ada yang tanya seneng gak sih ngejalanin ini? Gue bilang seneng. Bedanya, sekarang gue lagi kurang-kurangin ekspresi seneng, sedih, sebel atau apapun yang sifatnya emosional. Bukan karena nggak ngerasa, tapi sekedar reminder ke diri sendiri bahwa terlalu emosional juga nggak baik. Happy life is private life.

Gue berhenti berpikir negatif dan mulai cuek kalo emang nggak bisa mikir positif. Nggak semuanya harus dipakein hati dan perasaan kok. Kalo ada sensitivitas dan sentimen, bisa ditahan. Atau dialihkan.

Mungkin ini dia momentum paling sempurna buat gue menghargai "pertemanan" dengan beberapa orang terdekat gue, yang setia banget dengerin apa yang nggak bisa gue ungkapkan ke Abel. Bukan nggak nyaman, cuma menghindari konflik dan bias aja. Toh nggak mengubah perasaan gue ke Abel, jsutru menambah nilai refleksi gue terhadap diri sendiri.

Selebihnya, gue semacam pasrah. Tuhan udah ngatur semua kan, gue cuma tinggal doa dan usaha. Iya, usaha. Yang namanya usaha pasti ada capek dan pengorbanan, tapi ada hasilnya juga. Lagian temen gue pernah bilang, "kalo elo mau baik, baik aja tulus, Gak usah mengharap apapun in return, not even hoping dia notice bahwa elo baik. Sincere aja" ya kan? Satu pelajaran lagi.

Udah bukan waktunya lagi ngukur atau menilai. Sekarang saatnya gue menikmati dan terus jalan buat hal yang gue yakini. Mau susah, mau seneng, mau sedih, mau ngagetin, mau sakit, mau apapun itu, ya gue jalanin. Sambil terus refleksi; apa yang bisa gue perbaiki, apa yang harus gue hindari, apa yang boleh gue teruskan dan apa yang sebaiknya gue kurangi.

Memang begitu kan hidup? Belajar.
Selamat tanggal 7, kesayangan, It's funny how my feelings for you never change since the day 1 that you asked me "would you be mine?"

:)

Jakarta, 30 Oktober 2014. 4.12 AM

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Bangun dari tidur tanpa alarm, mendengar kumandang azan subuh, merasakan sejuknya udara pagi, mengetik catatan rasa syukur dan mengerjakan tugas-tugas duniawi.

Kadang kita bersyukur sama hal hal yang besar banget nilainya; sukses bekerja, menang lomba, dapet rezeki banyak, selamat dari maut, dan sebagainya.

Buat gue, satu kalimat paling atas di posting ini adalah hal yang paling gue syukurin seumur-umur dibanding semua nikmat Tuhan yang gue bisa inget. Manusia, banyakan ignorant-nya daripada conscious-nya. Manusia, banyakan ngerasa pinternya daripada kelemahan sebenernya. Manusia, banyakan ngeluhnya daripada senyumnya.

Semoga gue bukan golongan orang-orang yang selalu marah dan lupa sama anugerah. Semoga gue dijauhkan dari golongan orang-orang sombong yang merasa hebat dan lupa sama dosa.

Suatu pagi di bulan Oktober, Q3 tahun ini dan gue belum pernah merasa sebahagia sesederhana ini lagi sejak beberapa bulan lalu. Mungkin ini pagi terbaik dalam hidup gue, sebelum pagi pagi berikutnya yang harus gue syukuri nanti.

Jakarta, 30 Oktober 2014 - 4.17 AM

Is Ebola another Medical Commodity and Excuse?

Friday, 24 October 2014




Not a week after one US citizen's (a doctor) being tested positive for this disease, now WHO is doing some responsive claim; a vaccine.

Not to blame that Africans probably have weaker body immune, but learning that the cause of Ebola is actually detectable, therefore it's preventable, it takes so much of my concern that this illness issue is being a star in medical and health world that everyone's narrowing their eyes on this. It's like almost five times a day I read updates on my newsdeck mentioning "ebola". Okay, blame me not to subscribe to more sophisticated mews channel other than BBC and NYJ, but come on! If this is really that significant, could we just go primetime and announce massive claim about how preventable Ebola is?

I demand public announcement from relevant institutions, boards and organisations regarding this paranoid-aggresive exposure about one (maybe cureable) disease.

Please no further blaming or finger pointing on Africa or any other developing countries with political or economical issues colouring the perspective and thoughts.


Shit am I the one who's being racist now? I don't know, probably this is just an expressive note on how tiring it is to read about Ebola here Ebola there every day within the past two weeks. Sigh, get well soon, world!







Let's flip it over!

Sunday, 12 October 2014

Hello October!

Gosh it's almost mid-month and I have just started to write again. Hopefully this time is not too dull to share what has been crossing my mind lately. My students are going great and work is as hectic as always. Last month and this month are mental to me, I'm like physically drilled and mentally tested and psychologically tortured. Yet I sort of enjoy it, lol. So convinced I have the slightest level of Schizophrenia, not because of the movie or the book that I'm watching, but simply when my friends pointed out that I sometimes talk to myself. I thought this was normal until I read a bit more on the symptoms and they match my condition! HAHAHAHA it's the slightest level anyway, and even so, I see it from the good side; I must have certain extra-ability in my other skill. I just haven't figured it out yet. Maybe someone will point it out too to me very soon (hopefully).


Anyhow,
I am attending a super cool midweek getaway this Wednesday; a relative's wedding in Solo!

The couple have booked me hotel, driver and facilities around the town during the event. I guess this is the time for me to have a quick escape from the craziness of daily work. I enjoy my life as much as I look forward to hopping into the plane and take off to somewhere far away from the capital.

Probably escaping to Singapore next month with my ex-students and have fun too! So cannot wait to go through the rest of these three months of the year-end!!!

Turning 26 and it feels...

Sunday, 28 September 2014

AWESOME (?)

I mean what's more beautiful than;
1. waking up to a peaceful subuh time,
2. a kiss on the cheek from a proud mom
3. a phone call from a distant boyfriend who wasn't able to spend the day
4. a surprise from enthusiastic students
5. birthday wishes from office mates and colleagues
6. sweet caramel cake from so called secret admirers
7. gifts and gifts and hugs from friends
8. dinner with those 'secret admirers' who turned out to be the bff of the past three years
9. go home and another surprise cake from brothers
10. being alive and so thankful to God

?

being aware that life is more than chasing dreams and turning imaginations into reality; but also appreciating and enjoying what I have been blessed with.

A thoughtful boyfriend, sweet family, warm best friends and joyful students. Such a perfect combination to cure the last week pain and definitely another reason to survive the hard days on the year ahead.








Last Year

Friday, 12 September 2014

I fell in love with your skate shoes, your old guitar and you messy hair. It was a sunny day in the old canteen of our campus, you were with your three friends laughing over a comic book that I'd never understand. I always smiled effortlessly because every facial expression you made was the funniest to me.

I fell in love with your clumsiness each time you came late to our Statistic class. I fell in love with how persistent you were with your habit of drinking white milk every morning before the class.

I fell in love with you when you finally noticed me, letting me lending you my notes on Statistic subject as it was the one you hated the most. And I fell in love with the way you say "thank you, can I buy you a drink some time?" when you returned my book.

I fell in love with you when you let me pay the drink and be honest that you forgot to bring your wallet. I fell in love with your way scratched your back hair when you feel guilty or shy. I fell in love with your honesty, although sometimes it drove me crazy.

I fell in love with every single sketch you made on my hand when I was seriously typing my final report on every subject. I fell in love knowing that every sketch you made was about buildings and skate figures, sometimes names of people that I didn't know.

I fell in love when you chose to rest your head on my lap rather than on a blanket that I brought when we did that silly camping date. I fell in love with the way you gave up your jacket for me when it was raining after school.

I fell in love on how you joke about my face and sometimes you acted like you didn't care. I fell in love with the way you made me feel loved without saying it. I fell in love with you last year.


I am still falling now. The gravity seems to love me so much that it wouldn't let me go up from falling for you. And I somehow love to fall in love with you.

Oh dear Gaza

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

A simple thought on Gaza conflict and its mediation. Currently UN has agreed to once again let Egypt act as the mediator of the conflict between Israel and Palestine. Many scholars and analysts are concerned that maybe Egypt isn't the lost effective party. Not only because it hasn't presented any significant result during the mediation per se, but also the contributing factor such as politic and military status quo where Egypt will benefit so much from either Israel or/and Hamas. 

Qatar, on the other hand is THEORETICALLY potential and seems to become a satisfying mediator for this conflict. Qatar is considerably not allied in any course either with Israel or Hamas or Palestine as a whole. However, learning that Qatar is always a country with such beneficial and strategical multinational relationship with other countries (especially neighbourhood of the Gulf), this country is TECHNICALLY not going to risk any military or politically loss within the mediation process.

I don't know. This is just my opinion anyway. But I believe that if Qatar ('s government) and UN have agreed to take over the mediation task of Israel-Palestine conflict, I really hope the tactic they're planning (with beneficial and profitable accountability of themselves) is worth the result of the mediation.


I don't naively hope it's gonna be some sort of peace treaty or something beautiful or happy ending, but certainly I wish a more profound result like fairness, equality and further safety impact for both sides of the conflicted party, as well as other countries that have claimed (or accused) tp be the alliances of the fighting parties. Amen.

PS: as always, I'm a dumbass who tries to see things from shallow point of view. Please judge me :D





People and the Media

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Let's go back for a while to my weeks and nights in Edward Boyle and Brotherton library in Leeds. I hate myself for not remembering the names that I have quoted when I wrote analysis and critics towards the new media. But here is the thing, what happened to the media and people today are getting more and more uncontrollable and that the freedom of the information access is now inevitably super widen. I came to a thought where the people are obliged AND MUST understand how influential media are nowadays. To comprehend how the media work and how they contribute an impact to wide society, people then need to filter any information they are meaning to disseminate or retrieve. In short, you may read anything that you want; wrong, false, stupid, annoying, funny or brilliant content in media BUT to forward it and give any thoughts or concern about it IN PUBLIC requires bigger responsibility hence further consideration is necessary.

There are three types of reader and forwarder; the impulsive, the analyst, and the ignorant. The first type are those who are still laughing to a picture that they're looking at 9gag while they press the "repost this" button and let the people who follow them (not necessarily "friends" like in Facebook) see the same picture and careless about their interpretation towards it. The second one, rather careful than the first one, is them who mind to re-check the validity and reliability of the media content that they're reading before reposting it. Yes, it takes several scenario and assumptions inside their head before displaying their thoughts upon one matter, wise? Not really, because again, it is not merely senders' role to perceive and interpreted the message that they deliver. The last one, mostly is this group of people who think that "people are stupid" so why bother spreading things that public may not understand or even misuse them. They are a level higher than the analyst, but they don't bother to share anything because their main objective is to enrich their own knowledge and perspective. 

From these three types, the latter seems he safest and the best way to respond to information. But what if everyone IS ON THIS LEVEL? A mess, isn't it? Silence is not the answer since some people are willing, and obliged to report something. Again, this is contextual to what extent is the information that needed to be shared and reported? To what purpose is a news being broadcasted? Complicated.

Beyond the complexity of news, and information dissemination an distribution, I would like to reiterate the role of receiver, the people in viewing the information they are reading. It is necessary to acknowledge and re-think about what we read or watch, moreover how much would we really want and will re-post it to wider receiver? I believe it doesn't take a genius to know that disturbing pictures like war victims, rapist and open wounds of people with disease are INAPPROPRIATE to be viewed by anyone unless for certain reason. Rumors and provocative postings about racism and violence are neither a good topic to be laughed at among your peers, and so on.

So from now on, let's use our logic and a little bit of sympathy to think twice(or thrice) before reposting any inappropriate and untrue information, anywhere, especially our social media accounts. Information are there to be viewed, use accordingly and spread responsibly, be wise and happy surfing!



Cheers!





Yoga

Saturday, 23 August 2014

Inhale exhale.
That was the only two-words medicine that God gave me when I came to Him last week. After pouring all my problems, sadness and concerns, God gave me Yoga.

At first, it was sour and bitter at the same time, weird I guess. Fortunately my body is familiar with the compound and can adapt easily. I consume the medicine quite regularly; He did not set up the exact time or moment like usual medication, so I just do it when I feel it's necessary.

The vocabulary is "yummy" and I deliberately feel the stretch of my natural body movement and my soul, mood and flexibility are changing as I keep on consuming Yoga. It feels so greeeaatt!

I really hope this medication will help me out with relaxation and I will recover pretty soon.


I will recover very quick. And I will be just fine.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

I fell from uphill, the view was too beautiful I thought that I did step too close to the edge of the hill. And I fell.

When I was up there, I was wondering how beautiful it was actually to be part of the beauty that I witnessed. I was also wondering how blissful it is to be a part of the scenery that I saw from above.

Then I just fell. It was a long fall that in the middle of it, I managed to think of what will happen to me when I land? Will I die? Will I break any ankle or bones? Will I infinitely relieved? Will I land successfully with my both feet? Will I continue running that sweet beautiful land? Will I regret falling down?

I fell anyway.
I hurt both my arms and my ribs.
But looking at the scenery that surrounded me, I knew I will recover quickly.
And I will be just fine.

Hari Terakhir Di Bulan Juli

Thursday, 31 July 2014


Hari menyeka keringat di dahinya yang bercucuran akibat menunggu kendaraan kantor yang terlambat menjemputnya siang itu di lobby. Perintah terakhir supir adalah menunggu di pinggir jalan saja karena mobil sudah mendekat, jadi sang supir tidak perlu parkir atau masuk ke lobby gedung untuk mengangkut Hari. Ternyata apes hari itu ditandai dengan pemandangan macet tiada ujung di depan gedung kantornya.


Siang itu Hari akan meeting dengan klien lama yang muncul kembali setelah dikecewakan oleh konsultan barunya. Sekembalinya sang klien ke perusahaan Hari untuk berkonsultasi, Hari lah yang mendapat tugas mulia menjalin hubungan baik dengan sang klien tersebut. Kebiasaan klien ini adalah meeting di mall tengah kota yang notabene jauh sekali dari kantor Hari di pinggir kota. Namun karena kalkulasi dan target profit yang telah ditinjau dan dievaluasi dengan seksama, jadilah tetap Hari yang mengikuti permintaan klien tersebut untuk makan siang di hari terakhir di bulan Juli.


Panas. Tidak seperti biasanya, Hari diam begitu duduk di jok penumpang sebelah supir kantor. Pak Supri yang biasanya menyetir sambil tertawa mendengar kisah lucu Hari, kali ini diam membisu bahkan salah tingkah menghadapi kebisuan Hari. Sesampainya di lobby mall, Hari merapikan pakaiannya, memastikan tidak ada bekas keringat di leher, ketiak dan wajahnya, lalu turun tanpa berkata apapun ke Pak Supri. "Ah nanti kalo udah selesai juga gue car call atau gue telpon aja" batin Hari yang tak terdengar mambuat Pak Supri semakin bingung menyaksikan hilangnya etiket dan sopan santun Hari yang selalu menjadi khas pemuda itu.


Memasuki restoran mahal yang disebutkan sang klien, Hari mendapati perwakilan kliennya duduk di teras restoran lantai 10 itu, sambil menghisap rokok, wanita berpakaian rapi dengan rambut tertata cantik itu bangkit dari duduk dan menggeser posisinya supaya gadis kecil di dekatnya terlihat oleh Hari. Di dekatnya, duduk seorang gadis kecil memegang buku gambar dengan pensilnya asik mencorat coret tiada konkrit hasilnya. Anaknya. Anak mereka dari pernikahan yang kandas tahun lalu.


"Hai Har, apa kabar?" Juwita mematikan rokoknya yang masih setengah batang dan menjabat tangan Hari. Hari membalas salaman Bella dengan cepat lalu beralih ke malaikat kecil yang dirindukannya.
"Baik. Hai Bella! Sini anak Papa ulang taun ya hari ini!" Hari mengeluarkan sebuah buku dongeng mungil penuh gambar warna warni dari tas kerjanya. Ia memangku sang gadis kecil berusia 4 tahun dan memainkan pipinya gemas. Bella bersemangat sekali membolak balik halaman buku cerita yang baru diterimanya dari sang Ayah.
"Sorry baru ngabarin lagi, pas banget deh konsultan baruku ternyata nggak komit dan sekarang malah event aku berantakan. Untung ada kamu, bos aku langsung setuju pas aku bilang kantor kamu udah paling oke sepanjang perjalanan kerja sama aku dengan EO lainnya. Kamu mau pesen apa?" Juwita membolak balik buku menu setelah kalimat pertamanya tidak digubris Hari yang asik bermain dengan rambut dan pipi Bella.
"Har, sorry juga aku baru bisa bawa Bella, soalnya aku sibuk nih sama tour acara dan persiapan launching. Email kamu juga masuk ke junk deh, aneh banget. Iya sih Suster cerita kamu telpon dan sempet ngobrol sama Bella ya minggu lalu. Aku lagi nggak di rumah waktu itu ada meeting dadakan sama ambassador baru brand aku" Juwita seakan mengerti kesalahannya dan mencoba menebusnya dengan penjelasan yang justru membuat Hari semakin kesal. Adakalanya Hari lega berpisah dengannya, namun most of the times Hari menyayangkan Bella harus tumbuh di bawah asuhan wanita seperti Juwita.


Setelah puas bermain dengan Bella, sekitar 10 menit, Hari mendongakkan kepalanya kepada pelayan dan memesan segelas kopi dingin karena rasa kesalnya berkali kali ditanya mau pesan apa oleh sang pelayan. Seperginya pelayan, dengn sigap Hari mengeluarkan proposal program kerja yang sudah disusunnya dari sehari sebelum meeting itu berlangsung.
"Ini proposalnya udah gue bikin lengkap dengan itungan anggaran dan plan cadangan. Semestinya cukup sih buat satu periode promosi dan dua event. Kalo mau sekalian masukin ambassador baru ke program ini, tinggal disesuaiin di budget aja, rundown udah diantisipasi kok." Juwita kaget dan dengan tidak kalah sigap menerima sebundel dokumen dari mantan suaminya. Ia puas membaca halaman depan dan beberapa bagian awalnya, lalu meletakkan proposal itu di kursi kosong sebelah Bella yang masih seru dengan kado ulang tahunnya.


Juwita menghela nafas dalam memandang Hari yang sedang memandang Bella lekat lekat.
"Aku sincere lho minta maaf. Memang aku sibuk, bukan males ketemu kamu atau ketemuin Bella dengan kamu.. tapi emang gini nih contohnya ya..." Juwita baru akan membuka agenda kerjanya untuk justifikasi kelalaiannya sebagai Ibu, namun Hari dengan tidak sabar memotongnya,
"Oiya, bulan depan review pertama sama Anis ya, bukan sama gue. Bulan berikutnya, pas selesai event pertama itu mungkin ketemu bos lo juga sama Anis aja, kita bikin event report presentation aja masing-masing terus kita discuss. Selebihnya, korespondensi sama Anis aja soal field sama eksekusinya" Hari masih berusaha memperjelas pertemuannya kali ini hanya membahas pekerjaan dan yang kebetulan Bella ikut serta dengan Ibunya akibat rasa bersalah dari Juwita sendiri sehingga ia harus repot membawa Bella bertemu Hari kali ini.
"Oke, thanks. Now, kita nggak bisa ngobrol as Bella's parents nih hari ini?" bertepatan balasan Juwita, datanglah minuman pesanan Hari. Hari langsung meminumnya tanpa sedikitpun melihat ke arah Juwita, seperti muak, atau segan, bercampur. Alih alih, ia malah memandang Bella sambil sesekali bercanda dan tertawa melihat tingkah laku anak lucu itu.



"Bella, papa pamit yaa. Kita ketemu lagi secepatnya nanti" Bella hanya tertawa riang mendengar ucapan pamit Ayahnya. Ia lalu diam dan memeluk erat lutut sang Ayah dari tempatnya duduk di lantai. Hari berusaha sekuat tenaga menahan air matanya supaya tidak jatuh, dan lagi lagi ia berhasil. Diangkatnya Bella dan diciumnya berkali kali wajah sang balita dengan penuh rindu dan sayang. Ia tau mungkin akan sekian lama lagi baru dapat berjumpa dengan kesayangannya itu. Tanpa pamitan dengan Juwita, Hari langsung keluar dari restoran karena takut tangisan Bella akan membuatnya semakin lemah dan tidak sanggup untuk tidak mengangkut Bella bersamanya.
"Papa.." Bella memanggil dari balik ruang kaca teras, namun Hari tidak mendengarnya. Dalam hitungan detik, Bella menangis keras dan mengundang pandangan setiap pasang mata di restoran tersebut untuk menoleh padanya. Juwita menggendong Bella dan mengusap usap punggung anaknya dengan pasrah dan tiada daya. Andai bisa diulang waktu, ia ingin memperbaiki semuanya.


Hari itu adalah yang terakhir di bulan Juli, hingga setahun lagi Hari bisa berjumpa Bella. Hari itu, terik matahari serasa dengan sengit memusuhinya, ikut serta sang kenyataan yang seperti tidak cukup menyiksa batinnya. Hari itu, hari terakhir di bulan Juli, Hari dengan gontai mengikhlaskan Bella ikut wanita yang tidak pernah disayanginya sebagai Ibu dari anaknya.

Mudik Tahun Ini.

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Hujan deras mengguyur pom bensin tempatku berteduh. Aku bangun dari tidurku yang hanya bersandar di kaca swalayan yang belum buka (atau mungkin tidak akan pernah buka karena dari semalam aku lihat tidak ada aktivitas apapun di dalamnya). Pukul 6 pagi, mendung membuat langit terlihat seperti pukul 5 dan sudah genap 12 jam aku menunggu pencerahan dari Tuhan tentang bagaimana caraku pulang. Dingin. Sendirian. Di sekelilingku para pemudik masih terlelap tidak memedulikan hujan, sebagian ada yang mengantri untuk cuci muka di kran air (bukan menggunakan air hujan), tidak lepas dari pandanganku seorang ibu yang mengaduk susu di botol untuk bayinya (menggunakan air termos, bukan air hujan). Motor dan mobil berserakan tidak teratur di pelataran parkir, dan petugas pengisi bahan bakar sudah berganti wajah dari shift semalam. Aku mengingat lagi kejadian semalam sambil menggosok-gosok kedua telapak tanganku yang basah kena hujan.



Pukul 21:00
"Permisi Om, saya baru ditinggal sama bus saya karena buang air besar tadi kelamaan. Tas sama HP saya ada di dalem bus itu. Boleh saya pinjem telpon untuk hubungi keluarga saya Om?" aku sudah meredakan panikku akibat tragedi teriak dan lari sore tadi mengejar bus yang jelas jelas di depan mataku meninggalkanku karena kurang cepat kembali bergabung bersama rombongan. Sekarang Bapak agak tua di hadapanku memandangiku iba dan ia menyerahkan ponselnya untuk kugunakan. Aku menghubungi Ibuku di rumah, tidak ada jawaban. Pasti sudah tidur, ini sudah larut menurut jam biologis Ibuku. Aku lalu menghubungi sahabatku di Jakarta, memintanya mengabari Ibuku pagi nanti kalau kalau aku masih tidak bisa ditemukan. Aku memberitahukan lokasiku seadanya, tanpa memberi tau bagaimana aku akan menyelesaikan masalah ini. Di akhir panggilan, kami berdua diam di ujung telepon masing-masing; bingung hendak apa dan bagaimana.

Pukul 23:40
"Mau mudik kemana mas?" seorang penjual mie instan akhirnya berhasil mengoyak perbekalanku yang tinggal 20 ribu untuk menyantap dagangannya. Sambil menyeduh air panas, ia berbasa basi menanyakan keadaanku. Setelah kuceritakan kisah malangku, ia menyodorkan segelas mie dan menawarkan membuatkan teh manis setelah aku sudah memesang sebotol air putih; membuat 20 ribuku semakin tipis mengingat harga mie tersebut sudah dua kali lipat dari yang ditawarkan di hari selain hari raya. Aku tidak menolak, toh dia berniat baik. Aku tidak menceritakan lebih detail lagi kejadian yang menimpaku, toh ia terlihat tidak bisa membantu dan tidak peduli sejauh itu. Jadi kuputuskan untuk menjalin hubungan antara pembeli dan penjual saja. Benar, ia pun beranjak meninggalkanku setelah gelas teh manisnya kukosongkan dan kukembalikan.

Pukul 01:30
Sebuah mobil patroli polisi parkir di beberapa langkah dari tempatku duduk, terbersit untuk menghampiri dan meminta bantuan. Lalu lenyap seketika mengingat isinya adalah seorang berbadant tegap bersama seorang wanita setengah baya menggendong balita disusul tiga anak lainnya dari jok penumpang di belakang. Polisi juga manusia, bisa mudik. Aku hanya menyayangkan pilihannya menggunakan mobil patroli yang seharusnya dipakai untuk bertugas melayani, mengayomi dan melindungi masyarakat. Umpatan berubah jadi uapan kantuk bagiku, segera aku cari posisi yang tidak menyakitkan untuk bersandar barang sejam dua jam hingga aku dapat ide harus apa.

Pukul 03:15
Sekitarku riuh ramai akan jeritan dan teriakan. Aku pikir kebakaran, maka aku panik bangkit dari tidurku yang hampir nyenyak. Aku terjaga selama beberapa menit, kantukku hilang setelah melihat minuman energi yang terpampang segar di kulkas dekat tempatku tidur, padahal tidak kubeli apalagi aku tenggak, tapi energiku seperti terisi kembali.Setelah kupelajari, ternyata tawuran antar penduduk di kampung belakang pom bensin tersebut.  "Ah, biasa itu warga sini suka ribut masalah perempuan lah, judi lah, gak jelas. Nanti juga bubar sendiri, jarang ada korban atau apa." Aku mencuri dengar petugas pom bensin berbicara pada pemudik di dekat toilet. Ake menghela nafas dan mencoba merasakan kantukku kembali.

Pukul 05:00
Kali ini alarm di arlojiku bergetar pelan membangunkanku untuk solat subuh. Segera aku langkahkan kakiku menuju musholla, tidak lupa diakhiri doa dan diam panjang setelah solat meminta petunjuk dan pencerahan dari Tuhan tentang nasibku yang tidak tertolong ini. Aku memutar otak mencoba menghubungi beberapa kerabat namun hanya mampu meninggalkan sebuah pesan singkat kepada Ibuku lagi tentang lokasiku. Sangat sulit mencari bantuan di tengah suasana mudik hari raya seperti ini. Jalanan dipenuhi keluarga kerepotan, keluarga terlalu bersemangat, dan barusan yang akhirnya meminjamkanku ponselnya adalah keluarga yang paranoid. Kuketahui tidak lama saat kukembalikan ponsel milik si gadis cantik, di layarnya adalah halaman berita belum ditutup tentang modus kejahatan pada saat mudik. Lagi lagi aku menghela napas penuh maklum atas kesinisan dan kecurigaannya dari awal.

Pukul 06:00
Aku tertidur sebentar tadi dan kini hujan melengkapi kedinginan dan kesendirianku. Anginnya lumayan kencang berhembus dan aku merasakan kemeja longgarku basah sedikit demi sedikit karena tempatkku berteduh tidak sepenuhnya melindungiku dari langit yang terus mencurahkan air. Aku memejamkan mata sambil berdiri bersandar, seluruh sendi di badanku sakit seperti baru saja berpartisipasi dalam tawuran dini hari tadi. Saat kubuka lagi mataku, aku lihat sebuah mobil memarkir di hadapanku persis. Keluar darinya sekelompok orang yang aku kenal. Tuhan! Apa ini mimpi? Aku lompat menerjang hujan memanggil (hampir berteriak) salah satu dari mereka "ALLE!!!"

Pukul 09:00
Setelah menghabiskan soto yang (akibat kelaparan dan kedinginan jad) nikmat di warung pinggir jalan raya, aku meminjam ponsel Alle, teman sekelasku di bangku kuliah dulu untuk mengabari Ibuku yang ternyata sudah panik dan menelpon polisi serta perusahaan penyedia perjalanan yang membawaku (dan meninggalkanku) dengan busnya. Aku beritahu ibu bahwa aku sudah berjumpa kawan kuliahku dan mereka bersedia mengantarku sampai ke kampung halaman. Tidak lupa memberikan nomer rekening Alle supaya Ibu bisa transfer uang ke rekeningnya dan aku cairkan untuk bekal hidupku tiga hari.



Perjalanan masih sekitar belasan jam lagi menilai dari panjangnya antrian mudik di hampir setiap kota yang kami masuki. Salah satu dari yang bermudik dengan Alle adalah Citra, sepupunya yang cantik dan jomblo. Tanpa menaruh harapan yang berlebihan (tapi tetap diusahakan) karena mengingat tampilanku yang hanya 10% dari ketampananku yang sesungguhnya, aku mengajak Citra ngobrol, paling sering tentang Alle semasa kuliah. Allan, adiknya Alle seperti merasakan upayaku menarik perhatian Citra malah membuyarkan semua usahaku dengan membuka aibku semasa kuliah dan sering menginap di rumah mereka. Citra hanya tertawa renyah (dan cantik) di setiap wajah tersipuku. Istri Alle, Nadia, terlihat sangat bijak dan dewasa. Meskipun pengantin baru, Alle dan Nadia terlihat sangat kalem dan menghadapi kekonyolan Allan dengan sangat keren. Aku beralih menanyakan kisah mereka karena sudah lama sekali tidak berjumpa dengan Alle.

"Kami ketemu mudik taun lalu! Soalnya kampung Mamanya Alle sekampung sama Mamaku. Malah katanya mereka sempet sekolah bareng waktu kecil" Nadia bercerita singkat kisah indah mereka
"Bohong! Kita dijodohin tau! Mereka sok sok ketemu padahal emang udah merencakanan untuk menjodohkan kita dari kecil!" kelakar Alle membuat seisi mobil tertawa lepas dan aku sedikit demi sedikit sembuh dari trauma dan lelahku semalaman.

Selesai melewati total tujuh jam dan rotasi menyetir hingga tiga kali antara aku (di daerah kampung karena takut razia polisi), Allan dan Alle, akhirnya kami sampai di kampung halamanku. Mereka duduk sebentar dan mengobrol dengan kakekku yang meskipun tua masih segar sambil menikmati jahe hangat di sore hari sehabis hujan panjang. Kakek berterima kasih pada mereka dan membawakan mereka bekal khas dari kampungku. Yang tidak kusangka adalah, di balik struk pembelian bensin mobil Alle, Citra menuiskan nomer teleponnya dan menyerahkannya padaku sambil berkata "kalo udah baikan dan punya hp lagi, telpon aku ya" diiringi senyuman super cantik mengalahkan kecantikan mantan pacarku yang meninggalkanku demi pria lain. Aku membalas tersenyum tanpa mengontrol merahnya wajahku karena malu bercampur senang.



Top Ten Footballers Say About Moving To Another Club

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

1. It has been a dream come true 

2. I cannot wait to help this team win the title

3. This club is one amongst the best in the world

4. The team is very strong and I am confident of contributing myself to it.

5. When I was a kid, I have always wanted to play for this team.

6. It is sad to move from the previous great team, but I will do better here.

7. The fans are amazing and I want to make them proud by winning.

8. After the long story and struggle, I finally made this transfer and I am glad about it.

9. Great armosphere, great welcome and I look forward to the new season to begin

10. Thank you to my fans and I hope you continue to stand by your beloved team.

The Life Concept.

This one person came into my life with this person's life concept where this person is never wrong, always prioritising comfort and self-assurance. This person rarely thinks of anything else or anyone else that does not matter to this person, this person is ignorant sometimes and this person barely understands the concept of social life, so hard to consistently loving and unable to keep the passion if this person is no longer interested nor challenged. This person is a slave of intellectualism and this person would not bother giving any shit about stupid things. Funny things are what this person thinks as funny, even the funniest comedian in the whole universe will not succeed to make this person laugh if the joke is below this person's standard. This person is so hard to please but at some point this person is so silly and lovely and adorable. This person is what makes me up all night thinking about this person and talk to God about this person. Good thing is, I talk to God quite often than before since this person happened in my life, I am so grateful. I learn to become more patient, determined and calm. This person is the most selfish-naive creature ever and I love this person. Like so much. When we are in a fight, this person rarely realises this person's mistake hence I will always be the one who is brave and mature enough to "symphatise" and "emphatised" our situation. I will always be the one who tells things and initiate ideas, teach this person things without sounding like a teacher, giving understanding without acting like the truest person. I know people tell me that it's not my responsibility to raise this person and nothing can force me to make this person mature, but somehow I want to stay. I want to hold on because the life concept of me is this person's opposite, and my heart tells me to be strong, stronger than ever, because I believe that nothing great comes easily. I need to hold my demand down, wipe away my requests, set aside my ego, and put up a little bit with this person so I will not lose this person. Strangely, I enjoy doing all this, I enjoy being with this person. Out of the reciprocity, this person sort of makes me happy just by this person's presence. I do not mind how much I have to struggle or give anything in when I am with this person. I will stay strong and moving forward although sometimes I feel pain. And if this is what I have to go through, no matter if people call me indecisive and too devoted, I will go through.

My Thoughts For (and to) Indonesia

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Pilpres sudah dekat, boleh dong ya anak sok tahu ini nulis sedikit pikiran dan perasaannya soal kenegaraan.

Sebelumnya, I'd like to give my respect and gratitude untuk pemerintahan BeYe. He's done quite good, salah satu indikatornya adalah keterpilihannya dalam dua periode berturut-turut, people had trust on him. Dari 10 tahun pemerintahan beliau juga ada kok numerous achievements despite some failures where he could have done better (on top of my head; Lapindo dan kasus penyadapan oleh Australia). Selebihnya, well SBY was quite good I shall say.

Now the two candidates; Prabowo - Hatta dan Jokowi - JK. Both of them have strength and weakness, and I am personally still confused, or in doubt, but I will make my choice this time.

Prabowo.
He is an expert in politics and diplomacy I think. Pengalaman dia mostly dari point of view pemerintah dan track record dia di militer (despite the rumours about human rights crimes on 1998) juga menunjukkan ketegasan. Ketegasan. Something yang nowadays sangat berguna dan I think is quite effective mengingat moral bangsa kita lagi merosot dan pride NKRI sedang goyah di mata Internasional. However, Prabowo punya potensi "kasar dan kejam" dalam memimpin, so this sort of image membuat beberapa orang khawatir tentunya, terutama para elit politik dan cendikia yang hobby banget sama soft diplomacy dan perdamaian alias lembek. Prabowo, again, is charismatic and his aura (or appearance is) very presidential. He is a strong candidate with established supporters and fierce image to maintain national pride. Strong drive untuk membangun bangsa jadi sebuah kesatuan yang disegani oleh dunia.

Hatta Radjasa.
Well, I should be really objective this time about this person. He has done significant improvements for Indonesia since he was Menteri Perhubungan back then. Hatta itu cerdas dan beragama, integritasnya terhadap bangsa harus diakui, as well as his charisma in leadership; he is wise. Sayangnya media terlanjur mengekspos berita tentang personal life dia yang kebetulan nggak se-cemerlang prestasinya di pemerintahan dan kerakyatan. Unfortunately Indonesian people are very touchy and sensitive about nyawa melayang rakyat tidak berdosa akibat anggota keluarga salah satu pejabat negara. We forget that what Rasyid did maybe has no direct thing to do with Hatta credibility as a VP candidate. Akibat pencitraan yang anjlok duluan, kehebatan dan potensi Hatta jadi tenggelam. He is a good partner for the strong and brave Prabowo; dia semacam mengimbangi ketegasan Prabowo.

Joko Widodo.
A typical guy from small town with amazing charisma and integrity to build the country based on people point of view. Karena pernah "susah", beliau jadi tau bagaimana menghadapi orang susah, dan beliau bertekad memajukan dan "memudahkan" yang susah. Jokowi adalah visioner yang dicintai rakyat karena memimpin dari hati. Didaulat oleh partai tua yang diketuai oleh dedengkot negeri, Jokowi sekilas seperti boneka politik partai ini, namun tersokong oleh track record beliau sebagai kepala daerah yang dinilai berani dan membawa perubahan. However, my silly opinion would say he is just a part of "the people", dan dengan "merangkul" masyarakat, there is no guarantee things are going to be better in his soft way, apalagi untuk level presiden negara Indonesia. He is just a potential rising star with many supporters dan simpatisan Jokowi memang patut diacungkan seluruh jari (kecuali jari tengah ya mungkin) dari segala kalangan. He wins everyone's heart and sympathy.

Jusuf Kalla.
A small person with a big mind. That's the only description I could say about him. Cerdas, berwibawa dan berani. A perfect figure for a VP, siapapun presidennya, JK pantas jadi wakilnya karena beliau seperti cahaya di tengah kalutnya posisi dan keadaan seorang presiden. Berangkat dari pengalamannya sebagai pengusaha dan pengalaman dalam pemerintahan, Jusuf Kalla punya modal cukup untuk memimpin negeri dan memberikan goresan intelektualitas dalam kepemimpinan. He is also a businessman, which surely will be a good use of economical matters in this country. Keterpasangannya dengan Jokowi sedikit mengaggetkan, and then he is also adding the softness of Jokowi's image; kerakyatan. I so much respect this person and I believe he has a strong view about making this country better. Whoever the president is, Jusuf Kalla will make a good VP. That's it.


Personally, kalau boleh request, I want Prabowo to be the president and Jokowi as the VP. They will make a good partnership of leadership in this country. But again, it's just my opinion, and I am very knowledge-less about politic and governance, so my view is very personal dan penuh mimpi ideal :D

Sebetulnya masih banyak point of view dan pendapat lain dalam membandingkan kedua pasang capres-cawapres periode ini. Namun buat kali ini cukup deh, gue  janji akan riset terus mengenai dua pasang ini biar nggak jadi voters shallow yang abstain dan pesimis sama negara sendiri. And whoever the winner is, I will support them and try not to become anarkis atau skeptis, dan tetap jadi warga negara yang baik :)

Good luck, my dear Indonesia. Selamat memilih dalam pesta demokrasi. Salam damai.

When You Don't Even Let June Ends First.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

There were these times when life was so hard and giving up seemed to be the only option left.
I demanded myself more than just leaning, whining and mourning over senseless things.
These times were also the day when acting strong and trying hard just gave me disappointment.
I wanted to puke on every wisdom and quotes, desperately thinking that things were never going to be worse. So low.

And then you came, with a simple "hello" that made me smile.


But turned out you proved me wrong that things are actually becoming worse than ever.

the first snow: Wakefield.

Monday, 9 June 2014

"Abang, itu salju!" mungkin teriakanku tidak terdengar juga oleh subjek tujuanku, ia terlalu sibuk menenggak birnya sambil memandangi panggung yang performa artisnya tidak terlalu dia pahami. Aku masih terpaku pada salju di luar jendela bar lantai dua itu. Tidak terlalu lebat dan terlihat seperti abu jatuh dari langit, hanya saja serpihannya besar.

Dalam hitungan detik, aku kembali melihat panggung yang kini artisnya sudah berganti menjadi band idolaku, The Wave Pictures. Lagu pertama mereka adalah My Kiss.


Band indie asal Inggris ini memang punya jenis musik yang tidak umum, aku sendiri mulai suka sejak teman baikku di bangku kuliah, Tyo mengenalkanku padanya. Begitu kudengar mereka akan tampil di kota dekat aku studi, aku langsung mengajak karib rantauanku, Abang, untuk menemaniku menonton. Perkaranya mereka akan tampil di sebuah pub kecil di kota kecil dekat kotaku, dan di malam hari pastinya. Aku tidak ingin mengambil resiko nekat pergi sendiri, dan untungnya Abang mau.

"Abang ini lagu kesukaaanku!!!!" aku menenggak habis minumanku, yang hanya Pepsi, bukan bir seperti Abang, lalu menyelinap di antara kerumunan penonton di depanku supaya aku bisa melihan trio yang sudah mabuk ini memainkan lagu I Love You Like A Madman lebih jelas dan bisa bernyanyi bersama mereka.

Aku mengabaikan salju, seperti terlupa sejenak. Justru aku melihat Abang berdiri di dekat meja kami, menjaga tasku dan memegang gelas bir raksasanya. Aku kembali fokus pada band kesukaanku sampai lagunya selesai. Mereka menarik sang drummer untuk solo dengan microphone. Sepertinya aku berdiri begitu dekat dengan panggung sehingga bau alkohol sang drummer tercium olehku. Ia sudah setengah mabuk dan nyanyiannya terdengar sangat lucu. Aku sangat menikmatinya.

Sang vokalis menanyakan "Does anyone know what time should we stop?" lalu seseorang dari belakang berteriak "NEVER!" dan kami semua bersorak kompak. Mereka lanjut membawakan lagu lainnya, beberapa aku hapal liriknya, beberapa aku hanya menggumamkan nadanya sambil menghentakkan kakiku mengikuti ketukan drum. Sesekali aku tertawa mendengar lirik lagu mereka yang lucu, ditambah tingkah panggung mereka saat terpengaruh alkohol. Aku lega aku tidak mabuk.


Seusai pertunjukan, kami melangkah keluar dari pub. Aku bersyukur Abang tidak mabuk dan masih bisa memapahku keluar dari pub karena aku kelelahan. Di perjalanan ke stasiun kereta, salju sudah tidak turun, tapi aku bisa melihat serpihannya di trotoar tempatku berjalan. Mungkin aku terlalu pegal untuk berjalan lurus atau jalanannya memang terlalu basah untuk sepatuku, namun aku tergelincir. Abang melepasku meluncur sedikit keluar dari trotoar pejalan kaki. Kaki kananku mendarat cantik di aspal dan tak urung kakiku terkilir.

Sepertinya perjuangan Abang memapahku masih panjang. Di kereta yang sepi, aku duduk di sebelah jendela dan Abang di bagian dalam. Aku menatap keluar dan aku lihat lagi salju kedua turun malam itu. Kali ini agak lama, sampai aku menyadari bahwa ini adalah malam pertamaku melihat salju. Indahnya, menyaksikan band kesayangan tampil dan melihat salju turun dari langit di malam bulan Desember.




#artceum

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Well, actually I was just a lecturer assistant in this subject; Kapita Selekta Marketing. And this semester project is to make event for museum branding. One of the classes where I am assisting is this class who hold an event for Fine Arts and Ceramics Museum.

The first time I met them, they were the enthusiastic ones. I love the atmosphere and the spirit. They started brainstorming, surveying and we arrived at the pre-event on May. I adore their togetherness, their committment and their restless effort.

Today I went to their runthrough and we discuss the rundown for the event. I was so excited and they were too. This is them, and I so look forward to seeing the real event next week.









for more info: www.artceum.blogspot.com

My Phone, It Beeps Because I Missed it.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

I used to be an I Miss You slut. Expressing feelings and telling my thoughts.
These days, I'm just going to post either on my Tumblr or here.
Why?
These things are more durable, memorable and less painful.

I had a dream once, you complained about me complaining.
You wondered why am I never satisfied with what I've got.
You think I was ungrateful demanding bitch that always looked things from the bad side.
You claimed you have tried and you have stayed.

I think I hold on tighter than ever.
And I believe you don't know that I have more positive thoughts than before.
I believe that even if you knew, you would not care.

As long as you think there isn't any fight, nor matter to discuss, so everything is going to be ok.
I think I promised once to not post anything about feeling anymore.
But this is not feeling, this is boredom alternative.
Instead of cursing my reflection in the mirror, or gossiping with my friends.

This is just a poem, that doesn't look like a poem.
But never mind, I am no longer an I Miss You slut.
I mean, you don't care anyway.
As long as everything is okay, you don't care any way.
It's PMS.

Dear Students

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

So I have been a teacher for a couple of months now. I just have the right time now to write this. I feel sorry for myself for not finding some time to intensely write again. Yet, here I go.

You guys, students, probably never thought of what I feel now as a teacher, a lecturer, someone who spent 90 minutes of my life in a day to talk in class for and with and to you. I love being the centre of attention, but that's not it. I tell you what.

It is an enormous happiness when I see each and every face of you looking back at me when I explain the lesson. It's your confusion, your smiles, your giggles, your enthusiasm, and even when you are mumbling with your friends when I talk. I LOVE IT.

I love looking at you, telling you things about exam and homework. Shouting and yelling sometimes because you guys are too noisy and busy with yourself and ignore me. I love when you are all silent and feel nervous. I love when you're complaining about the grades I gave you. I love when you look at me in admiration or hatred because I speak too fast and sometimes giving you hard times. I love when you ask me unimportant things. I love when you're joking about how cool I am. I love when you succeed your own goal in achieving good marks on my subject. I love when you make mistakes and you laughed at it when I point it out. I love when you correct your work according to my direction. I love when you told me I was wrong and my handwriting is unreadable. I love your effort, I love your banters to your peers. I love how you say good things about me just to impress me. I even love when you say something bad about me.


I just want to write here the things I cannot tell you, I cannot tell and even show how much I love having you with all your level of enthusiasm and intelligence. I don't care how naughty and rebellious you are, I enjoy teaching you. I'm probably not the best, but as long as some of you hit on me, I know I'm cool enough to give you that confidence. And most of all, I love when you are around and wondering how could you all improve. I am confidence that even in my first months and semester, I already and will enjoy having many kinds of you in the near future.


Ask me things, and I may not always answer you correctly, but then I know you care about what you want to learn. Ask me things, and you will know that I'm probably not as smart as you thought I was, but then I know, I can also learn from you.


:)

Pelajaran Hari Ini

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Barusan otak kecil gue ini mikir nikmat Tuhan yang sering gak terasa adalah kemampuanNya memberikan gue mimpi di setiap gue tidur. Most of mimpi gue adalah menyenangkan dan jadi penyemangat hidup di hari berikutnya. Impas.

Loving you is like

Saturday, 12 April 2014

putting so much, so much, faith in Arsenal.
Almost nine years without trophy, players come and go, good and bad times. One single manager, old, classy and determined.

As a fan, I can tell you once feel sad, embarrassed, down, excited, flat, hopeless, on fire. Name it, every emotion. Arsenal have the potential, great players, accountable strategy, reliable players, and unquestionable spirit. Well I'm weak about how they have developed and I'm blind about their internal issues and strategy. But for all I know, it's the spirit of the gooners who keep the faith on Arsene Wenger.

Their loyalty and trust towards the club is what amazes me. I believe all clubs have these sort of fans, but by far I know you, there is no other fan as loyal as you are to your Arsenal; through the bad times and good times.

I know every club has their own weaknesses and haters and lovers, but as far as I can learn, you show the most dedication and determination to your team. I admire your consistency. I respect your effort to always watch and support them. I quitted expecting myself to be loved by you like that, many months ago.

However, by this, I would like to say that loving you is more or less, probably exactly, like putting so much trust in Arsenal. So much. The ups and downs of every game, the come and go of fantastic players, the high and low of offense and defense lines, the great and shameful spirit each match. The disappointments, the low expectations. The in-enthusiasm. The comebacks. The surprise. Whatever. All those emotions you showed me and you make me feel. Afterall,  I would like to learn to love you like you love Arsenal.





***this note was written on the match day of Arsenal versus Wigan in FA Cup Semifinal, Wembley 2014. Earlier that day, my boyfriend brought me a vitamin C and worried if I was awake too late while my body was still recovering from flu and fever.***

Mesin Fax

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Dian berlari kecil menelusuri selasar kampusnya. Di ujung lorong, ia berhenti dan menoleh pada Awan, kawannya sejak masa sekolah, "nyet, mesin fax dimana ya? Gue mau ngirim undangan nih satu lagi ketinggalan!" ia terengah engah dari lari kecilnya. Awan menjawab singkat pada jelas, "Marketing"

Dian bengong sejenak, otaknya berpikir keras. Pasalnya satu kata yang disebutkan Awan barusan adalah tempat paling keramat buatnya. Kepala staff Marketing adalah mantan pacarnya. Delapan skenario dapat terpikirkan oleh Dian jika dia mengikuti saran Awan untuk mengirim fax dari kantor Marketing.

"Emang enak?! Makanya jangan cari gara-gara sama staff kampus" Awan nyengir bahagia melihat Dian masih berwajah kusut dan stress. Ia menepuk nepuk bahu Dian sambil mendorongnya berbalik arah menghadap ruang Marketing. "Semoga perlindungan Allah tetap menyertai elo, kemanapun elo pergi, dan siapapun yang elo temui, hahahha" tawanya riang sekali menatap punggung Dian yang berjalan menjauhinya.

Langkahnya gontai menuju kantor Marketing dan menggenggam lemas selembar dokumen untuk dikirim via fax. Nasib.

Three words yang terdengar lebih keren in English dibanding versi Bahasa.

Monday, 7 April 2014

1. Arse
2. Betting site
3. Wanker

We didn't talk today

Saturday, 5 April 2014

But I will tell you what happened to me today.

I woke up at 6. Exactly at 6 and I was so lazy to move away from my comfortable sofa bed. It was Saturday so the landlord would not come to collect the monthly bill. I fell asleep again, I dreamt of you bringing me a cup of coffee and a sandwich for breakfast. Just in time I was about to eat, I woke up again.

I decided to move and get up, got myself a quick shower and checked my email. Nothing. Not from you, not from work. This kind of morning was rare. I usually wake up earlier and do a morning jog. Today I just didn't have the spirit to. So after a shower I tuned in to my telly, nothing was interesting.

The fridge was empty, I dragged myself to the nearest convenient store, but in the halfway there, I remembered I did not bring my wallet, so I stepped back home. On my way home, I saw the dog you used to take care of when he was sick. The puppy has turned into a dog now, and he seemed well. I wondered if you came by around here just to take care of him but didn't bother to let me know. I didn't think of it much. I just grabbed my wallet and run back a bit faster than before to the store.

After making at least three turns inside the store, I walked back home. I walked quite slowly I remember, there was no you to help me carry those heavy vegetables and fruit. A little bit struggling but finally I made it home with a twisted ankle when I climbed a tiny stair near my home entrance. Again, there was no you to remind me to slow down from jumping on and off to find the key in my pocket.

I cooked a simple soup and bake myself an onion bread. I watched my favourite DVDs and poured a glass of guava juice. It spilled, of course, as always, and this time I wiped the table and the clothes myself. I felt a small relief that I didn't get to hear anyone saying "you couldn't go on any day without messing with anything, could you?" then I smiled. I think it was okay to spill juice sometimes, it was sticky after a while but I managed to clean it.

In the evening, there was an email beeping. I literally hit my foot to the table as I rushed to check my laptop. It wasn't from you, the twisted ankle and the painful foot was not worth it. A breaking news. From my relative. About you.

I sorted my ankle and read the email at the same time. I couldn't breathe for a while. You got into an accident. On your way home. I stopped doing anything for at least one minute, staring at the laptop screen and repetitiously read the part "he is on his way up to the hospital now, I think there was something wrong with his car, I'll let you know when he's up later"

I sat in silence. Awake alone. Writing this. Now I know why we didn't talk today.
And I miss you.

The Death

Monday, 31 March 2014

A couple of weeks ago, I remember, I was writing about the perks of being famous; one of them is to be remembered when you're dead.

Today, one of important people in LSPR, MA Tomasouw passed away. He has suffered from heart attack and the one that finally took him away was cancer. Actually, I didn't know him personally and never had any chance to get close to him in any turn. I've just heard about him,  seen him once at graduation, he was smiling on his wheelchair, congratulating graduates and wandered around as if he was a normal person who enjoyed the celebratory of graduation. 

Moreover on the day of his death, I read more than enough notes, and sadness from people that I know who love him.

He's very inspirational, he's strong and always smiled. He's the brightest and the wisest, I can tell. What I'm trying to mesmerise is that how much people adore, respect, and miss him. 

I don't know what to write anymore. I'm sad.
Especially realising and imagining how much people will remember me if I die.
I never expect to have such remarkable sadness and condolences from people, I don't know if I'd made any memorable things amongst the people I know. I'm just wondering, if I die, how will people react. 

That matters to me for a bit. Death is probably the top climax point where we can absolutely realise how much we have done and made during our life-time. How much people care and grateful of our presence, and more importantly, it's the point when we wanted to know, what's left of us.

Did I leave something good and useful for the people that I know and I care?  Did I make good memories and impressions? Did the people who I hurt forgave me already? Did any debt that I had has been paid? Did I leave any promise unfulfilled? And many other questions that I cannot think of.

Too bad when we pass away, we didn't even have any chance to answer those questions. We leave certain marks that only people can tell and feel and see and hear.
This kind of thing, matters to me. 

Day #500 I have loved you for

Friday, 28 March 2014

It's not yet the longest miles I've gone through. I remember the days that I did not stop thinking of breaking up with you. I wondered if I'm happy and if this is what relationship is. I wondered if you're worth the effort and the tears. I wondered if the times that we spent and the fights that we did were all for one good reason. I wondered if you were happy as I always wanted you too. I wondered if you ever realised how much sometimes I was hurt by your words or your attitude. I wondered if you have ever hated me, and hid it just to avoid conflict. I wondered these days that we've been through.

But you know what?


The fact that I love you holds me down from thinking of going away from you.
The fact that I love you calms down my anger and disappointment.
The fact that I love you opens my eyes that you love me too.
The fact that I love you heals every sadness and exhaustion.
The fact that I love you strengthens me from giving up.
The fact that I love you makes me stay. No matter what.

And I have loved you for five hundred days. Thinking of going another five hundreds?
I don't know. All I know is I love you. And I want to keep doing so until indefinite time and days.

Belajar Dari Bunglon

Thursday, 27 March 2014

So sick of quoting life wisdoms. I read them too often, bahkan saking seringnya, gue sampe nyinyirin semua quotes tentang hidup.

Hidup dan bersosialisasi itu ibarat survival method-nya bunglon. Dia berhasil bertahan dari buruan musuhnya karena dia bisa beradaptasi melalui perubahan warna kulit di tempat dimana dia berada; kayu, rumput, tanah, dsb.

Sekilas sepicik mirip kayak "muka dua" yah, alias gak punya jati diri. Menurut gue mah sebaliknya; jati dirinya adalah easy going dan adaptable. 

Nggak banyak orang yang punya skill nge-bunglon. Menurut gue orang-orang ini ya berprinsip "gue ya gue, gak mau pretend jadi apa yang bukan gue". Padahal ada juga kelebihan dan keuntungannya mudah dan MAU beradaptasi; more friends, more things to kearn and more experiences.


Bukan salah juga sih kalo ada orang yang berpendapat karakter bunglon itu plin-plan dan suka menjilat supaya aman dan bisa diterima. Mereka juga memilih "mending gua gak banyak temen tapi sedikit temen yang beneran temen itu terima gue apa adanya", again, bukan hal yang salah, ya itu pilihan mereka untuk menjadi seorang individu yang determinan dan karakternya teguh.


Tapi gue justru berpendapat sebaliknya; karakter bunglon adalah kelebihan yang gak bisa dimiliki banyak orang. Then at some point, they survive better and longer in any more difficult circumstances.


So, dari sekarang gue pengen lebih banyak introspeksi diri dan belajar dari karakter bunglon. Bukan sebagai muka dua, penjilat atau gak berkarakter, melainkan sebagai individu yang adaptable, sabar dan memahami potensi diri untuk berada di lingkungan sosial yang bervariasi.


Kamu gimana?

I dedicate this award to my parents.

Friday, 14 March 2014



So I was asked (or slightly pushed) by a senior lecturer in my uni where I work to join a speech contest. It was a 5-minutes presentation competition. I thought "oh shit what would I say? this sounds like an academic smart pants event" then I said "oke deh ma'am saya coba ya" for all I hope this is just like a bully thing for new lecturers. I like talking anyway, I just need to find a good topic that I could master and present.

After thinking and browsing for a while, I was reminded to this funny and interesting ad about bus and I tried to relate it with a theory that is not too hard but also interesting. Ta da~ I came up with a rhetoric approach on advertising!

On the D-day of the competition, it was a Lecturers Convention btw, I was bloody nervous. I drawed as the very last contestant to present and my fellow lecturers were all so prepared and when it came to my turn, I barely felt my knees. I was sooooooo nervous as I knew all the audiences will be the judge and vote for the winner, and all of them are Professors, Doctors and senior lecturers. MAN!!! One of my friend was presenting about political campaign and another competitor was talking about something philosophical meanwhile I was only trashing about advertising and an old theory about rhetoric. So so so so undermined.

When it came to my turn, I just danced, figuratively on stage. For only five minutes, I cannot be serious and formal, so I spoke in English where I could hide all my asshole-ness in speaking frankly, and I was glad the audience understood what I was saying although I believe I spoke a little bit too fast, but most of them nodded and smiled, that's more than enough.

I received a quite well applause when I step off from the stage and relieved it was over. After a short-break, I WAS ANNOUNCED AS THE WINNER!!!! Hurrah!
I didn't know how to feel, I did not feel or think I was about to win at all, so I was pretty shocked and happy at the same time. Mom, Dad, this is for you :)

Cerita Share-tea dan Shihlin

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Abel itu...
Lovely. Ngeselin, tapi lovely.


Sepulang dari nonton film tadi malem, kami jalan menelusuri food court PIM 2 menuju Shihlin; wacananya gue mau bungkus buat sarapan. Lalu Abel bilang "aduh lagi batuk gitu ga usah Shihlin deh lada merica pedes, yang lain aja"


Lalu gue nurut, bener juga, makin parah batuk gue nanti kalo ngikutin nafsu. Akhirnya beli burger.


Trus Abel komen clutch bag baru gue, "gak ribet ya bawa tas ga ada pegangannya gitu harus diketekin?"
Gue jawab "nggaklah ini justru praktis gak nyakitin pundak atau punggung"
Lantas Abel bilang "ya tapi kan tangannya jadi gak bebas"
Simpel, gue hajar "ya tanganku bebas juga ga ada yang megangin" 
Sekedip kode terbaca, telusupan tangan gue di lengan Abel dipindahkannya ke tangannya. Hore gandengan!


Sampe di lantai basement, sebelum menuju mobil, gue menunjuk gerai Share-tea. Spontan uhuy gue berseru "aku mau share-tea!"
Kata Abel "yaudah beli"
Selang beberapa menit, kami menyaksikan abangnya meracik pesanan gue. Waktu es batu mulai dishake dengan minumannya, Abel ngingetin lagi "kamu kok minum es lagi? Batuk lho"
Abang Share-tea bilang "no ice kan kak?" Lantas menuang minuman tanpa es batu ke gelas baru. Gue lanjutin "wek ga pake es wekk!"
"Ya tetep aja dingin."
Somehow gue terpaku, lalu lemah menjawab "iyadeh nunggu gak dingin baru diminum"
"Ah kamu laper mata aja kan" gue hanya tersipu sependengarannya.



Sampe mobil, Abel menggerutu kecil "kamu nih lagi batuk, shihlin lah, bubble tea lah. Ck!"
Gue hanya tersipu menyeruput bubble tea rasa teh tarik madu.
Sebenernya hal-hal kecil dan ke-grumpy-an Abel ini yang bikin gue makin sayang.


Rela deh di-grumpy-in dan dicuekin tangannya setiap jalan bareng, gak masalah flame dan lovey dovey nggak se-antusias dulu awal pacaran, rela banget asal bisa terus merasakan bahagianya disayangin apa adanya. :)



Selamat tanggal tujuh, kesayangan.
Jakarta, 7 Maret 2014. 12:00.