I am so in Doubt

I woke up this morning to a sudden feeling of emptiness. I usually wiped it with a prayer or another thought so that I keep my mind off of the thing that confused me. This morning, I embraced it.

I let my tears fall, as usual, nobody wiped it. My chest started to pound hard holding the pain. This isn't the best feeling to wake up to on Sunday morning.

But who loves Sunday?

After a few minutes, I tried closing my eyes again to go back to sleep. Too bad, sleep didn't help as what I saw in my dream is just another vision of fear and doubtfulness.

So I woke up again to another deeper doubt and confusion. This time, I shook my mind off by writing a blog. Yet another tears fell down. I don't want to define any feelings or expectations right now.

I'm learning to experience another emotional confusion that I think I need to get used to. I know it seems hard, but the hardest part of my life has been done a couple of times a few years back.

So this one is another lemon, right?

haven't we tried yet?

Sometimes I wonder what haven't been done.

Every day I'm so tired of being an adult and worrying over many things. Adulting is really really exhausting & it makes me wonder when this is all going to end.