Catatan Akhir Tahun

So you think I'd forget to post this yearly stuff? NOPE! Here we go!

January
Well, it's not a good start for a new year as I broke up with my 2 years relationship boyfriend; the one I thought was the one but turned out another one. It wasn't easy, I think it was even harder than I thought as I had to start over again with myself and the new goal in life, especially in romance. But I managed to handle the broken heart with activities and plans.

February
I had to cancel my short semester classes because I had to accompany my bro to Brisbane. Well well, hitung hitung okelah ya buat kabur dari patah hari ke Australi. It was a quick but fun trip with my bro, and of course another heartbreaking moment because I was leaving him alone in a 4 seasons country. I really wished God would protect him.

March
A new even semester!!! I had quite a lot classes like last semester but this one is manageable and enjoyable. My advisees were progressing nicely and I had such a great time advising them. My English classes remained the same yet I liked them. I also went to Singapore for another quick getaway with this guy Eqi. We spent quite a fun time in Universal Studio and I REALLY REALLY LIKED IT! Not only because he's a good company, but also because it was worth it afterall the breakup and the thinking for two about my ex. I got over him smoothly. I was also occupied by this Student League thingy with Research Club that I enjoyed so much.

April
I moved to a residence near my office to save time and money. It was a controversy for the family but it did save my energy a lot. Nothing much happened but my involvement in ASEAN Studies Centre activities and of course the loses of Man United. So down this time for my favourite team.

May
A highlight? I think only one thing I could remember this month; the moderator for ASEAN Coffee Break with Tourism Theme!! It was an honour to host and manage this session after a long struggle and harfwork. I think this is also the month that my paper was announced as finalist in a communication conference in Jogjakarta next October. Meaning I had to interview people to get the full paper done for the research. Another fresh start!

June
My first advisee had his thesis defense this year and he passed with satisfactory result! I felt so accomplished! I also got closer and closer to Eqi as getting new experience with new person always excites me. He is fun and all I can think of. I wanted to be with him most of the time because he is.... fun. And yet, Ramadhan is coming. I was sooooooooooo thrilled another fasting month came and I got the chance to enjoy this precious moment.

July
This summer, Iker Casillas left Real Madrid, his home team to Porto. VERY VERY DISAPPOINTING!!! I couldn't have any words to express how sad I was hearing the news and the story behind his resignation. I spent my Lebaran day at home without my little bro and it really felt incomplete. Eqi was leaving to SG to visit his family but we reunited on the month after.

August
Another new residence to take over as I need better space for myself and closer to my gym. Yes, I started working out at gym since March. It worked very well as I got many opportunities to try things out as my exercise; classes, sauna, personal trainer and so on. It was great to be in shape although my shape wasn't that bad. LOL. I had an exciting experience teaching National Heroism to international students! So cool right?! I also had another three English short semester classes that tired me a lot. but okay.

September
I turned 27 and Eqi proposed to me. Right after he's done with his defense, he came to my house and DID THE BIG THING to my parents and family. It was combo as my Student League decided to reconstruct the staff and the coordinators got expelled from the organisation. It was sad as I just started to enjoy myself working with amazing kids. But then yeah, life gives you lemons all the time and I had another big thing for the rest of the year; a marriage.

October
Not long after the proposal, Eqi's family came and talked to my parents and we set the date and everything. It was really hard I guess for my dad especially to realise the fact on his face that his only daughter is getting married. I understood, I guess. I mean I could Imagine. But this had to happen. We only have a month to prepare everything to tie the knot. You know what, during the preparation I had a quick another trip to Malaysia for MOTOGP experience! It was a first time but memorable one, I didn't like the event but the experience paid it all. This busy October was also decorated with my very first conference in Jogjakarta that I spent with my gracious bestie, we had sooo much fun with becak and the city!! GODSPEED!!!

November
MY WEDDING!!! This is probably the highlight of 2015. I'm getting married to a guy who's younger than me! SO EXCITING as I never thought nor expect Eqi was gonna be the one the one the one. But yeah, with this and that dramas, we went thru it nicely. I stayed in the house and I also went on with my introduction to mass communication subject yeay!! I finally had the chance to do this class and I was so keen about it. The students are nice and I like them.

December
Doh doh doh. I'm pregnant!!! This life is turning super quick I barely breathe! My honeymoon is going to be also a babymoon in my tummy and I couldn't be happier having the best attentive and loving husband as Eqi. So mature although he's younger than me, and I enjoy my marriage life because it turns out to be less worrying than I thought it was going to be. Bismillah, another year to go with a husband, a baby and a new life.

For more documentation you check out my Instagram or Tumblr.

I wish you all a happy new year!!!

But

I spend hours and days learning things that I haven't known my entire life.
Some of the reason is to make my loved one happy, by that I could be happy too.
Some of other reason is to just accomplish new achievements. I think I failed most of the times, if success is measured by how satisfied my surrounding is. But then I heard that success is not defined by how happy people around you might become. Success is when you've done your best no matter what the result is.
I think it's absurd. The measurement for success is of course how accomplished you are and how acknowledged is your success by those who can see. Otherwise, that's self - acclamation, and that is absurd. You are pretty because people call you so. Otherwise that's unreasonable bragging. You are success because people are aware how success you are and how much your success is relevant to their thought.
So from today, it is non-sense to say that people don't define your success or happiness. Of course they do. They are the one who set the standard, and you must live between their expectation and your ability. Yes, sometimes it means ignoring your own ego, it means forgetting your own desire, even sometimes it means abandoning your own wants.
Congrats and enjoy living in a dump called society.

Langit Sore Di Bulan Desember

I'm pregnant. There, I said it.

Desember 2015 adalah mungkin Desember paling cantik seumur hidupku setelah kukira perjalanan ke Turki tahun lalu di waktu yang sama dengan mamaku. Tahun ini, aku merayakan Desember bersama suami dan jabang bayi. Rasanya beyond happy.

Aku selalu yakin nikmat Tuhan itu datangnya bertubi-tubi dan bentuknya berseri-seri. Seri Desember ini dimusuhin papa, masih, tapi ada nikmat lain dalam seri suami. Suamiku penyayang, kemungkinan besar karena jiwanya masih kekanakkan sehingga manja masih begitu terasa dari dirinya. Keuntungan buatku disayang saat hamil, keuntungan buat bayiku juga karena papanya penyayang walaupun perkasa.

Most of the times lately, kegiatanku makin sedikit tapi beratnya makin berat. Aku senang menjalaninya karena sepertinya Tuhan kasih nikmat berupa kuat. Setiap ke dokter aku selalu bersyukur aku menjaga diriku dari yang buruk, yaa meskipun satu dua bahaya masuk. Aku selalu bersyukur setiap dikasih lihat anakku dari USG, rasanya ingin segera jumpa.

Despite semua rasa yang harus kutahan dan ambisi yang harus terbatalkan, si anak bayi ini seperti memberikan spirit lain yang tetap membuatku semangat. Mungkin satu dua hal gagal dan terhalang karena keadaan dan tanggung jawab, tapi kemudian empat lima hal datang sebagai pelengkap dan ya kuanggap nikmat. Bahagia rasanya diberikan kesadaran untuk terus bersyukur dan berbaik sangka terhadap hidup. Bahagia rasanya dikelilingi orang-orang yang perhatian dan penuh kasih sayang, keluarga yang lengkap dan teman-teman yang sigap.

Aku nggak sabar ketemu bayiku dan memulai petualangan jadi seorang ibu. Aku nggak sabar menjalani malam-malam begadang dan suara tangisan bayi. Aku nggak sabar menyodorkan kameraku merekam kelucuan anakku berkembang dan belajar. Aku bahkan nggak sabar dengan drama suami istri atau keluarga yang katanya bikin sesak dada. Aku nggak sabar melihat dan merasakan babak baru dalam hidupku, dan inginku belajar tak terbendung ingin menjumpai hal lain lagi yang belum kurasa sebelumnya.

Tuhan, kuatkan aku, bayiku dan keluargaku.