Every evening. Every you. (part five)

1 May 2013.
It's Brian and Sally's wedding reception.
Lila's Brian's friend and Sally's Tom's friend.

Tom just could not believe of what he saw; Lila on the bridesmaid dress.
"You look so so different, pretty and.. stunning" Lila bowed and smiled, "Thank you, Tom!"
"I thought I was never gonna see you again after the meeting with you and Lex that time"
"It's been ages, hasn't it? hahaha.." Lila felt so casual and no longer nervous like on their previous meetings.
"I'm so sorry you and Sam broke up, Lila. Brian told me" Sally suddenly came up from nowhere to behind Tom, across Lila.
"That's okay, we finally didn't work it out, anyway. But thanks" Lila then began to act clumsy and blushing at the same time. Tom was confused but then they got into another talk and chit chat until Brian came and "here they are! and here she is my beautiful bride! Now if you excuse us, singles?" Brian didn't wait for any response to take Sally out of the conversation and they just waved their wine glasses to each other.

It was just Tom and Lila then.
"Hmm, so you've broken up with the busy-with-business-trip-boyfriend"
"Yeah, kind of. Last week." Lila said it briefly. She started to hit a shot now.
"So, are you up for an evening coffee with me now?"
"Now? I can't, the reception won't end until late tonight, no time for coffee now"
"Hahaha.. Okay. Shall we dance now?" Tom never seemed to get tired of trying
"No, sorry, twisted ankle" Lila lift up her long dress until her right knee and Tom was shocked seeing a thick bandage on Lila's ankle
"Oh God, what happened?"
"You know, the earth isn't nice any to me lately" Lila smiled and finished her scotch. Lean back on the bar stool in the garden
"This is our fifth meeting," Tom signed the bartender to pour him a pint, "why aren't you giving me any chance to know you, at all?" Lila rolled her eyes sarcastically to Tom listening to that, "I mean, come on, you've met Debra my neighbor, you've met my father, you've been consulting with my mom. You barely know me. Isn't that a mystery to you?"
"You know what, Tom?" Lila paused to make sure Tom listened to what she said instead of staring in love at her face. "Some mysteries aren't meant to be figured out at all. And I think you are one of them. I don't mean to solve you, Mr Mysterious. So, no thanks." Lila laughed. She had too much drink that evening. She left Tom alone on the stool and Lila just disappeared into a dressing room inside the hall.


-finished-

Things that I would do for love.

You may call me selfish. I always do what I want. I rarely care what people think or how they'd react towards my selfishness. I just happen to do good selfish things, including consistently loving you. From the day I said "I love you", that feeling has never changed, until I wrote this post, at least. And I do hope it will not.

And today, you turn 25. You have your own wishes I don't have to surreptitiously make ones, and even though birthday is never a big deal nor a celebration for you, let me myself congratulate you for being older, and hopefully wiser. I know your happiness doesn't have to be because of or with me, but I really hope you are always happy because of the thing that makes you do.

This simple video, I fetched from your worldwide friends and relatives. (Sorry I had no idea about your family in France and US, if I had I think I would also contact them).

I did the video collection and compilation all along a very struggling event that I currently engaged in (you know what it is), and I am so so so glad I made it. I know it's not perfect, or you might think "ah ngapain sih ngerepotin, aku kan udah bilang gak mau apa-apa" but again, you cannot forbid people from being nice to you just because you can't return their favor, or you don't want to, or any other reasons. People could be nice to you because they want to, because they are nice, because they care about you, because you are nice, and you are worth it.

And me, I love you, not anymore because you love me too, nor because of the habits that we've been through, nor because I expect anything from you anyhow. I love you because I simply want to.

"Things that I would do for love" Jaime Lannister

Oh is it really June again?

I hardly hate June. I mean it's midyear, everything must show its greatness if not clarity all along the year. This year, I happened to adapt to June quite hard. Not only because my family's struggling a hard time, it's also my boyfriend. I think I just miss him too much that all the energy left has been tabulated, accumulated and transformed into some weird brain reaction. This is not fun at all, but I dare myself to just go through it. I mean, what harm can it make if I keep on the track?


Anyway, I'm with this old bad habit again. I can't believe it's not moving anywhere, as a matter of fact, it remains. Now I start to see it as something adaptable and enjoyable. Not gonna tell it here, but I am convinced that it is a bad habit. Does it sound like I nail-bite now?

So, it's June again. I hate that I write less this month because of the craziness around me. I guess I'm not the only one, people have been very very very busy lately, and I sometimes wonder if it's normal for us to keep on being busy with ourselves. I don't mind, I don't care. I always have my own remedy.


I'm gonna continue my bookstore story again later. Just see.