tulisan hampa

 Belakangan aku sering mengabaikan banyak hal. Dan aku sangat bangga bisa abai. Sampai hari ini aku merasa abai malah mengantarkanku pada rasa kesal yang menumpuk di pojok persembunyiannya. Iya. Rasa kesal itu tidak pergi, tapi ngumpet  di balik beberapa emosi lainnya yang memang dominan akhir-akhir ini. Kepengen doa yang jahat-jahat, tapi takut berbalik padaku. Jadi aku doa yang baik-baik untuk diriku sendiri dan orang lain, biar kebaikannya juga kembali padaku. Boleh kan, pamrih sama Tuhan?

.... of Hafiz. I have to admit, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Berangkat dengan rasa takut didampingi tekad yang bulat untuk mengarungi 'rumah tangga' lagi, sebulan jadi istrinya Hafiz adalah suatu hal yang rewarding. Saking rewardingnya, selain feeling undeserving, I also feel guilty and sorry for all the girls Hafiz had ditched for me. There aren't so many things I can describe here, but just a few monumental moments I'd like to cherish forever. At least as a good sign of a good life and fortune in the near future. 1. He holds my hands in the most unexpected moments. He doesn't do it as much as he did in the past before we were married, yet now it becomes something meaningful because it's rare. I learn that relationship is NOT ALWAYS about keeping the old-sweet-cheesy habits, but also about consistently exploring what your partner is becoming. It upsets me, of course, at some point where I'm still trapped in the course of clinginess when ...