tulisan hampa

Writing this one while I'm tucking my kids in bed, I could not help to not think about you and the things we've been through. I really never thought we'd go this far. Kamu, yang tadinya tempatku bermain, melepas lelah dan sedih, kini jadi tempatku berpulang menceritakan lebih dari kelelahan dan kesedihan. Kamu, yang tadinya tempatku mengukir tawa dan berbagai canda, kini jadi tempatku menulis cerita tentang yang sendu hingga yang lucu. Kamu, yang kukira adalah perhentian sekilasku, ternyata lebih nyaman dari semua rencana ku. Kamu yang begitu bersahaja sekaligus begitu banyak rahasia. Kamu yang begitu diam namun menyimpan banyak rasa dan cerita. Kamu yang begitu menenangkan sekaligus suka bertualang. Kamu yang begitu lembut namun sangat kuat hatinya. I really feel undeserving to have met a person like you. I am so swept off of my feet to be loved by a person like you. There is nothing but gratefulness that I'd feel and express when it comes to having you in my life. The...

 Never thought I'd write the title in such repetition, I hate myself. So just want to update you about what has been going on between me and... LIFE. In general, life has been good.  I gotta admit it's mostly because I'm pulled to a therapeutic way to God and the universe. It's nice to have my 1/3 night on sajadah telling my problems and thoughts, unheard, unseen and un-judged by any human-beings. It's so very nice that I think God needs to give me more problems so I can enjoy the bliss being awake at that time and just cry for no reason, or whisper prayers I haven't even heard before. Well, another update I want to highlight is how low key my relationship with Hafiz has been. It's not only because we started off at the wrong line, but also I learned that being low key is so nice at some point. I get to see other perspectives and way to enjoy the subtle and humble life. I saved more and spent more on important stuff almost always, missed here and there but m...