the 10 years ago ME talking to present ME

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Whats it motherhood like? I bet it feels amazing.
I look up to my mom, and other moms, and I see that they are amazing.
They struggle in pain, happiness, tears, anger and hunger, yet they survived.

My mom.
Well, I don't know exactly what I want to be when I grow up. I'm still dating this bad boy and my life is an adventure. I start to believe that marriage sucks, I have to surrender myself to a stranger, a man who does not deserve me, a boy who will rule this and that for me, someone who barely knows me; an imam. Oh cliche.

Can I be a mom without getting married? Technically can. Socially not.
I can imagine the amazingness of being a mother. Raising my child and giving the best of me.
Will my child need a father? Well, I need my father, so yes I guess my child will need a father.
I just know that my mother maybe does not need my father. Weird.

Anyway, that's still too far.
I have to focus on this assignments and exams first before all that complicated life stage. I still want to wander around, meet people and going to places. I guess yes motherhood is on bucketlist, but I'll think about the technical stuff later.

Oh Hey!!
I never knew you would be a mother by now!
I never doubt your capability of loving, you were always the dumb and loving one, so yeah you'd love your child unconditionally of course I know that.
I just didn't think you finally chose this path and be this mature/
I never guessed you would be brave enough to be a real mom WITH A HUSBAND.
You never wanted a husband, but now you have one. And funnily you LIKED him.
How is motherhood?
Is it as amazing as you imagined it when you were still single?
Man, you have that patience, and YOU ARE AGING.
Look at those wrinkles, well slight, but they are there I can see. Ew. You okay?
You wear dress more now, and you only have 3 pairs of jeans now! Dibs!
What? Do you cook now? Does your husband like it?
Your baby, look!! A BABY! She is very very adorable.
Did you have C-sect? Was it as painful as you talked about when you were in college?
Who was there with you when you gave birth to your daughter?
Aw your parents must be soo happy and content. I just really really don't remember when you planned about getting married and be a wife. Do you still work? Can you bath your baby?
CAN YOU FEED OR BREASTFEED HER? I mean you were so skinny, do you have milk?

HAHAHAHAHAHAH sorry I just didn't know I would be like who you are now.
I still have a million more questions from my age to you. But I'll save it for you to answer it yourself.

***to be continued***