Why Don't We Go Back in Time and Ask What's Wrong?

"So this is very very rare. I got this from my mother's closet and I don't think she would like it if she found out I sort of stole this" I whispered to Emily, she looked amused and astounded at the same time.
"Wow! Is that really...." I nodded and she observed the object deeper and longer than she usually stared at my eyes, "do you think we really have to.... you know... sometimes I want to just let it go"
"No, Em, I know you don't. I know there are things you want to clear up too. I know that, for instance, night when I didn't come to your place when you said you got an accident, you're wondering why..." I was about to go on with more things I have left her stranded.

She started to cry.

I startled seeing her tears came out so much so quick.

"Umh, okay if you don't want to.. I'd just return this to my mother's....."

After all this time, it's still her happiness that I worry about the most. I confused myself too often about how miraculous her presence is that many other things in my life are less valuable to be taken account into.

On second thought, maybe I'm gonna travel back by myself. Without her knowing it, of course. But then... it's her whom I want to reveal the fact to. She has more questions than I do. She deserves more chances to be explained to about the things that has happened.

"It's okay Tom, honestly when I missed you so much, I really want to travel back in time. I really do. But it hasn't been like that lately. I don't miss you that much nowadays. I mean you're always around. I am quite content with how you have been around these days."

Am I supposed to be hurt when she finished that line? It means I have to be gone for her to miss me, doesn't' it? Is it a good thing she doesn't miss me because I am always with her? Lately?

"I am sorry, sometimes I hate to know how much you love me."

Why am I not bothered when she said that? What is wrong with me?

"No, Em, it's okay. I know I love you too much. I just wonder why it doesn't hurt me to know that you don't love me" I put back the object into my pocket and she rubbed my back very softly.
"I love you Tom. You just don't know. And yes, maybe you need to travel back to look into more details of how much I loved you in the past"

I turned around and say goodbye without looking at her. I think yes, I need to travel back and change her mind.