Being a new mom is just so hard. I think I have managed to survive up until today because God is still kind enough to let me live. I get many helps from around but still very tired on the inside. I don't know what or why, it's just never relieved.
I thought it was the sleeping pattern, which I assume I lack of quality sleeping lately. But then the psychological adds up. I think it's a huge deal to never feel the same again once I am a mother. The only healing I have is the smile of my daughter. I heals everything, almost.
The last time I cried was with her, apologising for not being a good mom yet. And I promised her I'll keep on trying and going forward. I think she understood me well. She smiles every time I told her my concern. Such a sweet baby. Or probably such a sweet angel who keeps her attended during these 40 days.
God, grant me strength to go through another day.