WHY I FALL FOR STUPID GUYS

 Okay, I have never dated anyone stupid. Or so I thought.

Apparently this is why I fall for stupid guys.

1. I find it amusing to be needed and relied on.

As the first child in the family, I am used to be treated as the responsible one, the looked up to one, the strong one and the wise one. I grew up with two younger but bigger brothers and they are very caring, don't get me wrong. They take care of me and they really love me, I can tell. What I always feel about them is I am the liaison unit of my parents to them and I need to always protect them, which leads me to: they are just two stupid kids who need a good role model.

2. I failed, many times.

In so many things, I am not a star. Let's say I am the jack of all trades, and my brothers look at me like that. My parents look at me as someone who is not persistent in one particular thing and that I am doing EVERYTHING I CAN without worrying about the QUALITY of what I'm doing. Being failures to them in quite many (not all) things make me wanting attention and acknowledgement from the outer circle (of my family). By having someone (such as a partner) who would think I am a superb individual, I get extra self-esteem to survive another day living in an environment that constantly reminds me that I am a failure.

3. I resent loneliness.

Despite the fact that solitary is something that I enjoy so much, I hate being alone and not having a company. I don't want to make too many checklist on who should I date, neither do I want to make a high standard of what kind of guy I should be with. I don't value myself that much, maybe. But mostly I think everyone has their uniqueness and I focus too much on people's goodness rather than considering the bad ones or the bad effects different people might cause me. I make friends easily with anyone, even I can say that I am a people pleaser. But not like ice cream, I can't make everyone happy no matter how cold and sweet I am.

4. I dominate most of my relationships.

When I am not in the ruling part, I tend to feel always vulnerable and I'd long for some power. Being with stupid guys give me extra room to breath as they let me dominate and they are happy about that. I have choices yet I also love to be led. Sometimes I can be so hard and impossible to handle, only patient guys can bear me. Smart guys would leave me I guess,  they'd look for some other easy girls that don't want to rule and dominate too much.

I think I'm seeking stupid guys with patience and high intelligence.