tulisan hampa

They call it Covid-19, I call it full of shit self-quarantine. Sorry it's harsh, because my life is too. For the past six weeks we are advised to keep ourselves in distant with anyone, ANYONE basically. The idea is absurd, the whole system, the outbreak, the coverage, and the circumstances are absurd. Believe me, there is one thing that is not: my COVID19 story. It's been six weeks that I am seeing this guy, and it's the most marvellous journey for the past 2 years for me. After the whole rollercoaster life-phase I had to go through, I met someone who, surprisingly, managed to put up with my down times at most of our interactions. He saw me broke down, he saw me angry, & he saw me in the worst version of me: being indecisive. If I were him, I would definitely runaway from our second date. Disastrous moody me. But he stayed. And I don't know how. I know why, though, he is longing for someone to rely on. He is having another life-crisis and meeting someone who is...

WELCOME TO MY BLOG. How did you arrive here? I think it's Instagram, or perhaps the thing we talked about that night? Yes, it's gonna be in English this time, because I don't always do things the way I said them; Indonesian title and English content. It's what's wrong with me. Someone came to me telling random topics that I loved to talk about. I got into deep in the conversation and find this person interesting. There might be one or two times I hit it off, but this person might not notice. Or maybe they did, but they just didn't wanna get lost and focus on that. That's normal. Our relationship went very well and we connect most of the times; any jokes, any things, any ideas and any places we always met. I think I read something about that; a chemistry. Well, I was a language student. Linguistic was my expertise, and all I know, ontologically, chemistry belongs in science class. So basically I suck bad times at chemistry. So maybe I am wrong to label ...

Ngejalanin dan mperjuangin cinta kita ini berat. Besar, dan berat. Ibarat kotak televisi LED 50 inchi yang masih berisi. Tapi terus, aku ketawa. Sudah lama nggak berurusan dengan cinta, karena sepertinya itu benda usang yang kurang cocok denganku. Entah karena aku terlalu tua, entah karena aku terlalu lelah. Sore itu kamu bilang cinta. Aku bingung mau jawab apa, karena sudah lupa rasanya dan bentuknya. Sore itu kamu bilang sayang. Aku bingung, kamu siapa? Orang bilang waktu itu relatif, kalo buatku cinta itu relatif. Relatif seberapa niat dan kuat kita menyatakan, menyadari, menjalankan, dan memperjuangkan. Kayak pejuang ya? Berjuang. Ingat kata berjuang, aku selalu mengasosiasikan diriku dengan banyak hal: bangun pagi untuk pergi mengajar, begadang untuk menjaga anak-anakku, menembus sel penjara menemui Bapakku, atau sekedar membuka mata mendengarkan tutorial menu masakan untuk suamiku. Dulu. Itu berjuang bukan, sih? Bukan? Atau iya? Sejak itu, buatku, berjuang adalah melakukan...

"He wouldn't be like that, I know him." Esther almost yelled at Becca, her best friend. "That is non sense! You barely know him! And he knows nothing about you! So stop overreacting!" It's not the first time they argued about this matter; Matt. They met at a concert, that is just absurd. Esther suddenly fell in love. Becca was just furious about how dumb her best friend can be. Well, it's not the first time Becca witnessed Esther 'falls in love', but this one is certainly the weirdest because Matt is nothing like Esther's type: cool. Matt is so warm that he could melt every girl in the world only with his 'hello'. Matt is so friendly and smart, when he talks he illustrate Wikipedia with his knowledge and credentials. Matt can be your go-to friend when you're in need of some fresh ideas or just cringe joke. Matt is a diligent guy with lots of brilliant thoughts about various things. He is the jack of all trades. While Esthe...

In the very slightest faith, I doubt every single fate written for me beautifully. The last relationship has got me into the deepest worst part of me, and it slammed me so hard I thought I wouldn't be able to get back up again. Then Raka came. In a very weird way. At the very weird time. During the very annoying covid season. Then Raka came to say hi. Yes, that's him. His nerdy glasses, sleek short hair and neat jacket. An easy scooter with two helmets always ready. He brought a million more surprise within a week, and I didn't even have any word of where to start describing things between us. Perhaps it's like.. finding a male version of me. Kind, intelligent, warm, sincere, vulnerable.... tricky. Perhaps. We had many songs during trips, we had many laughs, we had silly arguments. We had differences. We is me and Eqi. It's not different with Raka this time. What makes it different is just the words he chooses and actions he makes. What makes it ...