Let Me Blog You

I was wrong to think that this is the safe space I could talk about you or anything else that I can't express in person. I was completely wrong to think that you wouldn't find me here. I was, of course, wrong to think that I went unnoticed.

You are one of the things I think about before I sleep almost every night. Just almost, because one or two nights, my mind couldn't occupy more than the exhaustion of adoring you. Yes, to you, perhaps I don't exist. Or maybe I don't read it well to realise that I am meant to go unnoticed anyway.

The expectation kills, they say, and I believe them. Yet, I don't find anything more reasonable than having and expectation to go through day by day in my life. Expecting and hoping you would finally see, or realise, or sense, or,,, ah, it's just an expectation. Yes it kills.

So let me blog you, to keep myself reminded one day why I put up with insanity of watching and loving you from distance. Only a slight faith, but it's more than enough, to feed my ego and to fulfil my need of strength. Each day.

Yes.

Each day.

Each day of watching you, praying for you, dreaming you sometimes, and each day of killing myself with an expectation.

So let me blog you, to remind you too, that if you ever found me, in darkness or in brightness, I am the one who holds the slight faith for your love.

So let me blog you, so you know that you are so missed, so longed and so craved. By an entity like me.

So let me blog you, so you know that you are precious and awaited.

And let me blog you, so the world can always access my deepest feelings about you, and how a slight faith can fuel up my desperation, loneliness and empty dreams.