"Okay, this is like the hundredth times we've been fighting about the same thing over and over again, are you not tired or what?" James berkata dengan sangat lancar ke arah wajahku sesudah aku membahas masalah yang sama setiap malamnya.
"If you really know what's the matter then why don't you quit making the same thing that gets me upset?" aku memincingkan mataku saat mendengar kata the hundredth times dan rasanya tak adil bila James terus meletakkan kesalahannya padaku. Aku hanya tak mengerti kenapa selalu perempuan sekantornya itu yang diantarnya pulang, nyaris setiap malam.
"I just do what a gentleman should do and...."
"You do so gentle about her and you can't be gentle to me since I know that...."
"No, that is not the problem cause I always understood when you were home after a lift by your subordinate staff and you...."
"Could you stop bringing the old problems that are not even exist any longer and even it wasn't so right as you...."
"I do bring what you did just to make you see that it is appropriate to drive for a woman, late night...."
"James, that's not fair, this the new problem...."
"What's so different about that? About giving a ride to your friend in the office after a late meeting at night...."
"James, it was a ONCE LIFT!!! not every night and I know Rocky was not....."
"It is unintended every night lift and I had swore to you this month is really hectic and full..."
"It is still unacceptable, James, you know that is not an excuse to stay me up here late and wondering what convers....."
"See, you're starting again with all the silly prejudice about me and Anna while actually..."
"STOP!! Stop it James.." ada jeda panjang sebelum aku melanjutkan kata-kataku.
Aku diam menatapnya dan ia membuang muka ke arah jendela di dapur kami. Aku diam-diam memperhatikan kemejanya yang agak basah karena keringat ditambah AC rumah kami yang sedang rusak dan aku benar-benar merasa bersalah untuk hal itu. Seharusnya aku memanggil tukang service AC apartemen langganan dan aku benar-benar lupa karena proyek kantor yang memakan banyak pikiran dan tenaga. Aku menghela nafas dan saat ini ia balik menatapku tajam, James diam dan terus memandangku.
"You know what, James, I think we should take a break." aku menunduk seiring dengan kata terakhir di kalimatku itu, menahan air mata kekesalan dan kerinduan.
"What??" James berkata agak keras dan aku terperanjat mendengarnya.
"No, I mean, we should.."
"No.. no... wait.. Okay, I guess you're right, we should take a break" James membuatku benar-benar terkejut dan aku setengah menyesali ucapanku.
"James, no, I didn't say.. I didn't mean that...I..."
"That's okay, Jul, we've been so hard headed lately and when you say it, I supposed it was something worth to do and we should really..."
"What? We? Umh.." aku menggeleng tak percaya mendengar kesimpulannya "right,well, you are so right James, I'm leaving for a while, we need this break.."aku berpaling dan melangkah menjauh.
"No, you stay, I'm leaving.. you could stay here." James menarik tanganku dan ganti melangkah pergi. Aku menahan tangan itu dan menatapnya tajam. Aku sadar betul ini tempatnya dan akulah yang seharusnya pergi. Dalam seketika pikiranku berkecamuk tentang kemana aku akan pergi dan bagaimana aku melewati pagi tanpa James di sisiku.
"James, this is your place, I am the one who should go.. I made this mess then I have to leave.. I could stay in....Alice's for a couple of nights.." James diam menarik nafas, melepas genggaman tanganku dan mengajakku duduk.
"What really bothers you to go? Are you not gonna miss me, and kiss me? Cause I will.." Kami duduk berhadapan di sofa depan TV dan terdengar suara hujan mulai turun perlahan-lahan. Aku menitikkan air mata dan James beralih memelukku. Semakin keras hujan turun, semakin deras tangisanku dan semakin erat James memelukku.
"I am sorry for being so selfish and impatient." aku berkata pelan di pelukannya. James tidak membalasnya. Ada rasa kesal di hatiku karena ia tidak minta maaf juga. Namun hati ini mengelukan kesal itu. Dan hujan turun semakin deras. Hingga aku terlelap dipelukannya.
Saat pagi tiba, James menghujaniku dengan kecupan dan segelas susu hangat. Mataku membengkak dan tubuhku terasa lemas.
"I quit my job" James mengangkat gelas kopinya dan mengajakku bersulang.
"Why do we toast on an unemployment? Why quit?" kepalaku agak pening dan makin bingung dengan sikapnya.
"I made my decision, I guess this is the right one. I could apply and accepted on more companies, but I do worry whether there will be any women in this world who would die to fix my faucet and replace my old towel with the new and perfumed one. I just love you too much." James mengoleskan selai coklat dan kacang di roti-roti tawarnya.
"I don't understand. How about the project..umm, the contract.."aku masih bingung setelah tegukan ketiga pada susu hangat itu.
"I quit, I just quit. Can't stand it anyway."
"Oh, really? um.. just make sure you're gonna help me with this air-con and call the curtain washer..I'm so sick of those people around..and ....." James memotong perkataan panjangku dengan sebuah kecupan di bibir dan ia meneruskan "we're gonna have fun today, I'm gonna pay off my days without you and we could possibly stop by in the park and do our old things out. at least before I really got a job interview. okay?" James mengacak rambutku dan menggulung selimut yang menutupi sebagian tubuhku.
"I love you James, more than those hundredth times of my jealousy, blind ones"
"I love you Julie, more than those silly loud voice I shout when I'm upset"
"If you really know what's the matter then why don't you quit making the same thing that gets me upset?" aku memincingkan mataku saat mendengar kata the hundredth times dan rasanya tak adil bila James terus meletakkan kesalahannya padaku. Aku hanya tak mengerti kenapa selalu perempuan sekantornya itu yang diantarnya pulang, nyaris setiap malam.
"I just do what a gentleman should do and...."
"You do so gentle about her and you can't be gentle to me since I know that...."
"No, that is not the problem cause I always understood when you were home after a lift by your subordinate staff and you...."
"Could you stop bringing the old problems that are not even exist any longer and even it wasn't so right as you...."
"I do bring what you did just to make you see that it is appropriate to drive for a woman, late night...."
"James, that's not fair, this the new problem...."
"What's so different about that? About giving a ride to your friend in the office after a late meeting at night...."
"James, it was a ONCE LIFT!!! not every night and I know Rocky was not....."
"It is unintended every night lift and I had swore to you this month is really hectic and full..."
"It is still unacceptable, James, you know that is not an excuse to stay me up here late and wondering what convers....."
"See, you're starting again with all the silly prejudice about me and Anna while actually..."
"STOP!! Stop it James.." ada jeda panjang sebelum aku melanjutkan kata-kataku.
Aku diam menatapnya dan ia membuang muka ke arah jendela di dapur kami. Aku diam-diam memperhatikan kemejanya yang agak basah karena keringat ditambah AC rumah kami yang sedang rusak dan aku benar-benar merasa bersalah untuk hal itu. Seharusnya aku memanggil tukang service AC apartemen langganan dan aku benar-benar lupa karena proyek kantor yang memakan banyak pikiran dan tenaga. Aku menghela nafas dan saat ini ia balik menatapku tajam, James diam dan terus memandangku.
"You know what, James, I think we should take a break." aku menunduk seiring dengan kata terakhir di kalimatku itu, menahan air mata kekesalan dan kerinduan.
"What??" James berkata agak keras dan aku terperanjat mendengarnya.
"No, I mean, we should.."
"No.. no... wait.. Okay, I guess you're right, we should take a break" James membuatku benar-benar terkejut dan aku setengah menyesali ucapanku.
"James, no, I didn't say.. I didn't mean that...I..."
"That's okay, Jul, we've been so hard headed lately and when you say it, I supposed it was something worth to do and we should really..."
"What? We? Umh.." aku menggeleng tak percaya mendengar kesimpulannya "right,well, you are so right James, I'm leaving for a while, we need this break.."aku berpaling dan melangkah menjauh.
"No, you stay, I'm leaving.. you could stay here." James menarik tanganku dan ganti melangkah pergi. Aku menahan tangan itu dan menatapnya tajam. Aku sadar betul ini tempatnya dan akulah yang seharusnya pergi. Dalam seketika pikiranku berkecamuk tentang kemana aku akan pergi dan bagaimana aku melewati pagi tanpa James di sisiku.
"James, this is your place, I am the one who should go.. I made this mess then I have to leave.. I could stay in....Alice's for a couple of nights.." James diam menarik nafas, melepas genggaman tanganku dan mengajakku duduk.
"What really bothers you to go? Are you not gonna miss me, and kiss me? Cause I will.." Kami duduk berhadapan di sofa depan TV dan terdengar suara hujan mulai turun perlahan-lahan. Aku menitikkan air mata dan James beralih memelukku. Semakin keras hujan turun, semakin deras tangisanku dan semakin erat James memelukku.
"I am sorry for being so selfish and impatient." aku berkata pelan di pelukannya. James tidak membalasnya. Ada rasa kesal di hatiku karena ia tidak minta maaf juga. Namun hati ini mengelukan kesal itu. Dan hujan turun semakin deras. Hingga aku terlelap dipelukannya.
Saat pagi tiba, James menghujaniku dengan kecupan dan segelas susu hangat. Mataku membengkak dan tubuhku terasa lemas.
"I quit my job" James mengangkat gelas kopinya dan mengajakku bersulang.
"Why do we toast on an unemployment? Why quit?" kepalaku agak pening dan makin bingung dengan sikapnya.
"I made my decision, I guess this is the right one. I could apply and accepted on more companies, but I do worry whether there will be any women in this world who would die to fix my faucet and replace my old towel with the new and perfumed one. I just love you too much." James mengoleskan selai coklat dan kacang di roti-roti tawarnya.
"I don't understand. How about the project..umm, the contract.."aku masih bingung setelah tegukan ketiga pada susu hangat itu.
"I quit, I just quit. Can't stand it anyway."
"Oh, really? um.. just make sure you're gonna help me with this air-con and call the curtain washer..I'm so sick of those people around..and ....." James memotong perkataan panjangku dengan sebuah kecupan di bibir dan ia meneruskan "we're gonna have fun today, I'm gonna pay off my days without you and we could possibly stop by in the park and do our old things out. at least before I really got a job interview. okay?" James mengacak rambutku dan menggulung selimut yang menutupi sebagian tubuhku.
"I love you James, more than those hundredth times of my jealousy, blind ones"
"I love you Julie, more than those silly loud voice I shout when I'm upset"
uuhhh...ending yang sangat baik Le. Semoga semua lelaki seperti itu. Menyadari, menghargai dan mencintai sepenuhnya wanita yang selalu berada disisinya. Wanita yang selalu menanti kedatangannya tiap malam, wanita yang selalu menggenggam tangan dan hatinya kala Ia jatuh dan terpuruk.hmm..wanita yang selalu mencintainya =)
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