tulisan hampa

Saya udah tiga hari ini sering salah kirim BBM karena nggak fokus sama apa yang saya lakukan. Kayaknya predikat multitasker yang pernah dikasih Adimas ke saya harus dicopot dari mindset ini supaya nggak ke-pede-an dalam mendeskripsikan diri. Desi Anwar juga bilang kebanyakan dari manusia adalah delusional terhadap dirinya sendiri. Mungkin saya gitu; menganggap diri saya di atas rata-rata dan merasa unik ataupun berbeda. Unik dan berbeda. Males rasanya kembali ke definisi dan belajar lagi tentang filosofi. Bukan saya nggak suka berpikir secara mengakar, tapi lebih ke efisiensi waktu dan signifikasi hasil pencernaan otak atas segala detail hidup dan kosa kata penjabarannya. Biasanya saya suka berpikir keras tentang hal yang orang mungkin nggak peduli atau anggap rumit. Toh akhirnya buah pikiran saya juga pasti nggak ada kontribusi nyata terhadap saya sendiri atau orang lain. Saya terjebak dalam halusinasi, khayalan dan utopia serba sinis tentang banyak hal. That means multidimensio...

I thought there was someone who predict that technology would be a new God. Am I right? Dari sekian hari yang gua laluin dalam hidup ini, statistik kasar gua menunjukkan 90% dari hidup gua adalah utilitas dari teknologi. Kening gua agak berkerut mengetik kalimat barusan, bukan karena eksotisme menulis hal yang sifatnya kuantitatif, tapi lebih ke... bener nggak sih sebanyak itu? Mari kita rekap secara kasar kegiatan sehari-hari kurang lebihnya gimana.... 1. Bangun tidur dibantu oleh alarm di Blackberry. Regardless suara apa yang gua pake untuk dijadikan alarm ya ;) 2. Gua mematikan lampu kecil dan menyalakan lampu besar supaya lebih terang solat subuhnya. Regardless my idiotic question to thank Thomas Alfa Edison or James Watt untuk masalah per'lampu'an ini. 3. Nyalain keran air, memastikan suhunya nggak terlalu panas atau dingin buat wudhu. Regardless merk wastafel atau merk keran yang harus gua mention disini. 4. Hap-hap minum segelas air putih hangat setelah solat d...

"Syukron Tasya, Tyson udah sempat datang" Anisa memelukku di pelaminan saat aku bersalaman dengannya. Ahmad hanya tersenyum memandang Tyson dan aku mengenakan pakaian batik serasi hari itu. "Barakallah, Akh, Ukh.. cepet punya momongan biar aku jadi Om, hehehe" Tyson tertawa renyah menyambut wajah Ahmad yang tersipu malu mendengar ucapannya. Kami beranjak ke beranda rumah mewah Anisa, dari atas terlihat taman terbentang luas beserta puluhan orang dibawah yang sedang menikmati hidangan resepsi dengan sanak keluarga dan teman mereka masing-masing. Aku menatap anak-anak kecil berlarian dekat kolam ikan dan sesekali ikut tertawa mengamati tingkah laku mereka. Tyson berdiri membelakangi dinding balkon dan meletakkan kedua sikunya di atas dinding rendah tersebut. Jarak kami sekitar setengah meter dan posisi tubuhnya direndahkan sehingga telinga kanannya sejajar dengan telinga kiriku, berdiri bersampingan dengan pandangan mata berlainan. "Kamu masih cemburu sama ma...

Here I am standing in the crowd of Heathrow Airport. Waiting for the next flight home. Why? I have been asking the same why. I arrived here a week ago, and now I am leaving. We broke up three years ago, nothing left but this ticket to London for a week with you. I was spending a week in London without you when I realised that all fairytales are bullshit. If happy ending ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. "Excuse me, do you have any small change? I need to make a call, an important one", that person shook his head, he was too busy with his iPad to listen to what I said. Here I am standing in the crowd of the busiest airport in England, not because I am still having a feeling that struck me three years ago when we broke up, but because we promised to spend a week in London. I just don't know if that promise corresponded our togetherness. And now I'm running out of my change to call you, I cannot call home anymore. Why? I have been asking ...

My boyfriend has just recovered from an accident during his field research around Hokkaido nuclear power plant, Japan. I drove him home and saw his family were prepared to welcome him back. It was not that I am not proud of him and his current study about earth and space, it's just the glacier and meltwater point that worry me a lot. I stand unbreakable upon the distance between us since two years ago. Not that I am faithful or he's just unconcerned about keeping up to our relationship, it's just what I feel about him that bothers me. So, Takeo is a scientist. He focused on earth and climate studies in our country's best Science and Technology University. We met in the library three years ago, during my part time job as a librarian and his Masters accomplishment. After a year chasing up to each other ignorance, we finally hooked up under the beautiful Manhattan sky in early August. He was not that romantic, he was doing things once or twice to make the occasion specia...

I have just received my books! Ordered since two weeks ago and have just arrived today in my mailbox. The excitement has gone a week ago, now it's just a misty feeling and curiosity of what they might bring me. I suppose this post today will not be as gloomy as how Mayday has always be covered. So this May, enormous excitement and nerves are pacing quite high. I suggest they may blow my mind as much as the Spring wind presents itself recently in Leeds. I still love being in Leeds, I still have that spirit of studying abroad that I had nine months ago. I still enjoy living in this bloody country where weather and food are intolerable to my Asian decency. I set aside all grumpiness and jump right of the track that might bring me better, higher and faster; citius, altius, fortius. So dissertation might take my mind the most this upcoming month. I will lure myself with the tempting Euro trip next month, just in case I'd lost the urgency of doing my tasks. Next thing, well famil...