The Death

A couple of weeks ago, I remember, I was writing about the perks of being famous; one of them is to be remembered when you're dead.

Today, one of important people in LSPR, MA Tomasouw passed away. He has suffered from heart attack and the one that finally took him away was cancer. Actually, I didn't know him personally and never had any chance to get close to him in any turn. I've just heard about him,  seen him once at graduation, he was smiling on his wheelchair, congratulating graduates and wandered around as if he was a normal person who enjoyed the celebratory of graduation. 

Moreover on the day of his death, I read more than enough notes, and sadness from people that I know who love him.

He's very inspirational, he's strong and always smiled. He's the brightest and the wisest, I can tell. What I'm trying to mesmerise is that how much people adore, respect, and miss him. 

I don't know what to write anymore. I'm sad.

Especially realising and imagining how much people will remember me if I die.

I never expect to have such remarkable sadness and condolences from people, I don't know if I'd made any memorable things amongst the people I know. I'm just wondering, if I die, how will people react. 

That matters to me for a bit. Death is probably the top climax point where we can absolutely realise how much we have done and made during our life-time. How much people care and grateful of our presence, and more importantly, it's the point when we wanted to know, what's left of us.

Did I leave something good and useful for the people that I know and I care?  Did I make good memories and impressions? Did the people who I hurt forgave me already? Did any debt that I had has been paid? Did I leave any promise unfulfilled? And many other questions that I cannot think of.

Too bad when we pass away, we didn't even have any chance to answer those questions. We leave certain marks that only people can tell and feel and see and hear.
This kind of thing, matters to me.