"You're not pregnant, and that's it" the nurse closed our conversation in a very warm tone with strong stress. I went out the white and tidy room with a pale face, my husband came straight to comfort me and gave me a hug. He smiled heedlessly and I held my tears until I sat my ass in our car.
"it's our anniversary, I'd like to do something different today with you, Wifey" He tried to tell me that everything is going to be okay and I could be pregnant again in no time. I know he was correct, I just felt powerless because it was our fifth anniversary and I still haven't got any chance to even feel like a pregnant woman, I kept losing my pregnancy.
"sometimes hard and heavy sports could cause miscarriage, and that is definitely why I asked you to stop working, at least for a while until you passed the maternity" my friend was trying to convince me that probably I could start to be more committed to what I am willing for. It was not a problem for me to even quit my job forever, I just cannot stand doing nothing everyday at home. I hate being jobless.
"please, quit!" I think I might start all over again, and be pregnant again without losing it. I want to be what they call sainty and grateful. I want to cuddle up my baby and teach him (or her) everything. I want to be a perfect wife and mom for at least once in my life. I don't care if I have to die giving birth to my child. I want to be a mother.
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