This is the saddest night of my life. I really can't remember the last time I feel this down and broken. That news just stroke me right to my lungs, and I lost my mind immediately.
"Hey isn't this your boyfriend?" along with the picture of him and a girl showing off their engagement rings. I stared at the picture a few seconds before another text popped in "what's going on? I don't understand, I thought you two were fine and getting married!" I didn't reply. I just locked my phone and put it down again. I drowned my face under my pillow and pulled my blanket up to my neck.
No, I didn't cry. My head went back to the conversation a couple of months ago, between me and that girl.
***
"Hey, sorry, are you waiting for him here?"
That's the first words that came out of my mouth when I saw her sitting in her car's driver's seat, looking down to her phone, probably texting my boyfriend. She was in an ugly shock when she saw me, immediately forcing a smile and stepped out of the car without answering me first.
"Hey, you remember me? We talked over the video call one day! How are you?" she asked me back in a very cheerful tone, she always is. I've been stalking her, and she's nothing but a sweet friendly girl.
"I really feel guilty. I know I shouldn't do this, if you don't like it, I really will stay away from your boyfriend. I think I've fallen for him and it's wrong, I know" she changed her tone into a concerned friend. For one second I thought she was going to hug me, but I held back. I finally put some wordings to respond her, "yeah, I sort of don't like that you're too close to him. I'm afraid of losing him, so could you please leave us alone?"
"Yes! Yes! Oh my god yes! I feel so bad already, I will definitely stop talking to him! I am so sorry!" she replied quickly as if what I said matched what she was thinking. I really tried so hard not to cry in front of her. She is so majestic, she's sweet, nice, smart and all great things a guy could ask for to make her their partner. I wonder what went wrong in her life, because I think she had some problems too looking at her blog and her social media posts. I didn't bother to ask, I just wanted to leave immediately.
Then I woke up.
***
I try to get up from my bed. I see two more notifications came in; one from work, one from my best friend. I don't bother to read them immediately. I really don't know what to feel right now, what I know is I'm so torn, and I have completely lost him.
***
"I can't continue this relationship. What I feel about you is not the same, and I don't want to keep you in this hurtful situation for any longer" I can't believe what I just heard. He is always a thinker, he always thinks so hard about himself before he says anything.
"Are you seeing someone else?" I can only ask him that. And of course, he never answers.
***
Five months later now. As usual, he doesn't say anything. The picture says it all.
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