I love you the most when:
1. You asked "Apa? Kamu lagi mikir apa?" when I stared blankly to the road on the way in the car. As if, you knew I don't go silent unless I have something in mind. I love when you pay attention to small details and you actually care. Because every time I speak up my mind, you always respond whole-heartedly and it gives me a comfort zone. Perhaps a new one.
2. You abruptly asked "Nonton yuk!" when I'm stuck with work or when I almost fall asleep because of boredom. Like, you know I never sleep unless I'm very tired or I'm bored. We always end up scrolling minutes before deciding what to watch, but the excitement of me watching with you is above any level. Side by side, you just like to not only hold my hand, but also rub it against yours. When it's online, I saw you frequently checking up on my expression and replying to my stupid commentary, as always.
3. You take the kids to pray without me asking. It hurts me to my chest thinking how bad I am as a mother and how beautiful it is to have you around as our imam. You effortlessly tell them what to do, and they just enjoy being ordered by you. It's like you're the missing command they always long for, your presence is so precious that even when you're being strict, they just love it.
Really, it hurts so much to imagine if I have to lose you. No matter how cool you teach me to be, no matter how calm you probably hope me to be, I don't think I can never handle losing you. At nights, you're the topic I always talk about with God. I hope you stay healthy and happy as you are.
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