tulisan hampa

So you think I'd forget to post this yearly stuff? NOPE! Here we go! January Well, it's not a good start for a new year as I broke up with my 2 years relationship boyfriend; the one I thought was the one but turned out another one. It wasn't easy, I think it was even harder than I thought as I had to start over again with myself and the new goal in life, especially in romance. But I managed to handle the broken heart with activities and plans. February I had to cancel my short semester classes because I had to accompany my bro to Brisbane. Well well, hitung hitung okelah ya buat kabur dari patah hari ke Australi. It was a quick but fun trip with my bro, and of course another heartbreaking moment because I was leaving him alone in a 4 seasons country. I really wished God would protect him. March A new even semester!!! I had quite a lot classes like last semester but this one is manageable and enjoyable. My advisees were progressing nicely and I had such a great time...

I spend hours and days learning things that I haven't known my entire life. Some of the reason is to make my loved one happy, by that I could be happy too. Some of other reason is to just accomplish new achievements. I think I failed most of the times, if success is measured by how satisfied my surrounding is. But then I heard that success is not defined by how happy people around you might become. Success is when you've done your best no matter what the result is. I think it's absurd. The measurement for success is of course how accomplished you are and how acknowledged is your success by those who can see. Otherwise, that's self - acclamation, and that is absurd. You are pretty because people call you so. Otherwise that's unreasonable bragging. You are success because people are aware how success you are and how much your success is relevant to their thought. So from today, it is non-sense to say that people don't define your success or happiness. Of cours...

I'm pregnant. There, I said it. Desember 2015 adalah mungkin Desember paling cantik seumur hidupku setelah kukira perjalanan ke Turki tahun lalu di waktu yang sama dengan mamaku. Tahun ini, aku merayakan Desember bersama suami dan jabang bayi. Rasanya beyond happy. Aku selalu yakin nikmat Tuhan itu datangnya bertubi-tubi dan bentuknya berseri-seri. Seri Desember ini dimusuhin papa, masih, tapi ada nikmat lain dalam seri suami. Suamiku penyayang, kemungkinan besar karena jiwanya masih kekanakkan sehingga manja masih begitu terasa dari dirinya. Keuntungan buatku disayang saat hamil, keuntungan buat bayiku juga karena papanya penyayang walaupun perkasa. Most of the times lately, kegiatanku makin sedikit tapi beratnya makin berat. Aku senang menjalaninya karena sepertinya Tuhan kasih nikmat berupa kuat. Setiap ke dokter aku selalu bersyukur aku menjaga diriku dari yang buruk, yaa meskipun satu dua bahaya masuk. Aku selalu bersyukur setiap dikasih lihat anakku dari USG, rasanya in...

Been sitting all day in a focus group discussion about ASEAN in Surabaya, so fun and enriching. This meeting has given me so many ideas and knowledge about how diverse ASEAN Studies Centres are. It's such an amazement that I got promoted to my position now, and surely I had no idea that I would get this privilege with a valuable experience working in ASEAN environment. Cool.

I cannot believe this is happening; I'm getting married. I think God has written a pretty much perfect story of my life that He brought me down and up and down and up tp teach me lessons. I thought I was a quick learner, but when it comes to life lessons, I learn very slow. Slow because I enjoy it. The hardships always come with greatness so far, and I cannot remember any day I didn't feel blessed and grateful because my life has been very amazing. May my next life steps are nicer and more worth it, while myself is getting stronger and nicer facing anything in the future. May Allah forgive my sins and let me live in assurance of His protection and guidance. Amen

Today, I went from being single to engaged. To a guy 5 years younger than me. After a few ups and downs. We called it. Today, I went from being a coward to a real fighter. Jakarta, 20 October 2015.

I had once made mistake, I will not do it again. This is to another life test that I need to get through, and I wanna pass it so bad. So bad that nothing will stop me, and I will not give up. Here is to another year that I will face, and another October that I'll go through relentlessly. I will not give up. I'd die, but not giving up.

Hi, I am super back as this weekend I'm spending sometime alone at home. I don't know if there's actually still anyone checking out my blog, but I'll spill it here presumably because those who care, read. It's my four weeks of unspeakable truth; new semester, new students, new life phase and new lessons learnt. I am so looking forward to another four weeks or more and more surprises life gives me. I think God works in a mysterious way simultaneously, and it keeps surprising me. I am super lucky to be blessed and surrounded by amazing people, inspiring and supporting figures. Life wouldn't be this great without them around me. Let's just say I'm getting older next week! My birthday's coming up! I guess I have to grow up? But I know that's very tricky, I get to see reality and everybody knows reality hurts. However, whatever hurts me shall not kill me, and whatever does not kill me makes me stronger! So I'd just have my chin up and fa...

Just Google "gojek indonesia" and you'll see my object for this post. It is amazing to me how people create and innovate transport solution and alternatives these days. Aside from traffic, efficiency, as well as job field, Gojek is a massive phenomenon I drop my hats at. I've been going around my head about the controversy, benefits, disadvantages and economical impact about this application and transport alternative. Say, drug trafficking, documents security, kidnapping kids, and today .... Social jealousy. Ojek is an old profession in Jakarta and it has in so many aspects becoming people's hero. Yet, the modern-digitalised era 'force' people to shift from the conventional ojek into Gojek where everything is simpler, nicer, safer and reliable. Oh, cheaper too. But then what happened to conventional ohek? Social jealousy. There are those who actually aware pf how they should also adapt with this social change, applying as Gojek driver, registered themselve...

Another Lebaran here at home after three years ago returning from England. This year is an awkward one as my littlest brother is not around. Not that we always hang out every takbiran night, but at least his presence completes me. He's away now and won't be celebrating the feast until Saturday as his region is a day away from ours. This holy blissful night, I heard that my other bro found out something saddening. It breaks my heart into pieces inside although in the surface I still console him. I don't know what to do. I think it's what makes me very very sad. It's like last 2 years' event didn't make much different to this year no matter how impactful it was for us. I don't know, I wish God enlighten me in this matter, I have too much love and affection for my family. My dad, he's not any usual dad. Ah, he's a real fighter. He thinks he failed so much that he wants his children to be successful. Too bad I think sometimes he's busy tellin...

I think recently I have been sunk too deep in a thing called reality. I barely have time to write, no matter how much I want to. Ideas are bursting at times but I just could not. Pet-peeves. So updating with my life, I am now taking charge still on many jobs. Additionally presenting events in school, and still, moving on from my last relationship. A couple of tweets and DM came to me asking how I am holding up, I said I'm cool. It's not like I don't have my own remedy, but I came to realise that a happy life is a private life. So I'm keeping some happiness private, some sadness too. But all in all, we define our own pleasure and happiness, don't we? This half year soon I will be travelling to some places, I really hope everything will work nicely and things aren't falling apart (too much). ah shit writing mood can just swing easily lately.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-32916288 All I'm saying is, if media have the right to tell the public and play their role to inform, educate, entertain and persuade, it is merely justifiable to expose what they see on their field job. However, some countries insist to have limitations for media freedom to cover and tell only good things about the government. I'd just refer back to the classic contradictory debate. Utilitarian media, controlled and monitored closely by the government create a press practice that's guided and not free. The result is national comfort. No watchdog to promote critics, no views to explore improvements, neither a tool and power to gain collective agreement on law enforcement. Assuming that no bad thing happens in a country (very unlikely) but is good news everything people want to see? Aren't humans craving sensations and change? Here, press limitation and regulation should be reconsidered. On the other hand, l strongly suggest caref...

I live for another half of my age now. 52. I have survived high school, the craziness of college years, the struggle of working under pressure, the prestigious masters degree, a merit title, a decent job, a dozen of exes, Harry Potter evolution, Steve Jobs death, the immaculate study experience, and an hour sitting with butter beer, a cute guy and feminism popularity. Another 26 years of my live, might as well another cycle of life and love. Perhaps an achievement, perhaps my parents satisfactory comment of my life choice, or a few friends who stay. The remaining hours I have in this life, well hypothetically, if I knew, would be the best remaining hours I would spend. I don't know, making stupid decisions, taking wrong paths, being good to strangers, slapping self in public, giving more to the needy, and probably playing more games on my phone. For the past five months, I have learnt loads of stuff about how to survive life crisis and mental disorder problem, not to mention...

So it's been four months since my last break up. It feels... indescribable. Another time it is like relief, happy and glad at the same time. One morning I could actually look back to Summer and Winter break I spent the year before. Mostly it is suffocating to realise how much I have wasted in vain. Currently living the present where everything is like a dream come true. With the shake down and awakenings though, but still worth it. I live my dreams everyday and everything goes very smooth. I have moved on Despite the pain and memories that keep playing in my head, I have moved on. I have moved on to a more beautiful reality. These days are like gift God's gave me. And I am much more grateful than ever.

I gazed through some social media studies articles and journals and came to a few thoughts. The new media has overtaken the world by its massively fast power and speedy reach through so many people and places. I also noticed (roughly counted) that there are more capture screen of tweets displayed in telly and more tweets are read out on radio channels than how many television shows' and radio streaming links are posted on Twitter. This signifies that the world is keen to receive information and spread news (and thoughts) via something ultra-quick and massively (or privately) conveyed and accessed. Television today, not only flooding the society with dramatic tears in reality show and talent show, but also ownership and conglomerates' fights between channels and political interest. I am confident to say that the education role of television, presently, is only 10 to 15%, while the rest is entertainment and commercialisation of human interests and business minded. Either the pr...

Amazing sometimes and annoying most of the times. Times like now, when my eyes aren't so friendly to read journals nor write any essay, the universe is dragging me to blog a post, uh, I mean to post a blog after my brain accidentally click the blog feed and reminded me that the last post I made was one month ago. I mean, one month ago? Have I been that unproductive and too carried away by the fact that life is changing drastically now for me? Well I have moved in to a new place, I moved out from my far far away house and start a new living as a single fighter but not alone. SO FUN! But of course I miss home like always. My job is .... stagnan, I still enjoy teaching and all the things that come after, activities, research, etc. SUPER TIRING but fun! I get to meet new people, having new experience, seeing new things and exploring new places. Life is amazing sometimes and mostly annoying because I am financially struggling. Not a big problem, I mean I don't shop a lot, I h...

"Don't worry about hard times, because some of the most beautiful things we have in life come from changes or mistakes." Cendera Rizky (2015) Here is to another break-up victim, a friend of mine who is now destroyed by his own belief and feelings. You are not alone in this, and always remember that: when you have a beautiful life ahead, your past becomes irrelevant and your present is the most thing that matters. Therefore chin up and be brave to face the reality. It might bite but you are stronger than you thought. Let this beautiful month bring you happiness, joy and wealth. You would not know how precious you are until your loved ones regret losing you.

...after the tears dried. ...seeing the most beautiful smile in your life ...looking up to another new day and wishing that the past would not hurt you anymore.

So with the current issue, I have this confusion in my head about how to act and what to do after a break-up. 1. If you happen to share an account of cinema membership, do you change the details or your ex does it? How about the remaining balance in that card? Who claims it? Do you refund the money? 2. Do you wait for your ex to change the Facebook status first from being in a relationship to become single? Or you initiate the change? 3. What do you say to people who adore your lovestory and ask you why you broke up? Do you frame your ex into a bad figure or you just admit that it's your fault? Or ignore? 4. If you miss your ex, like for example the way they say hi or just checking out how you're doing, should you ask your ex first without considering that's going to contradict the fact that a break up means no more strings attached? If you finally decide to do it, how to make it not look like you're desperate of wanting to be together again? 5. Let's say your ex do...

Sebagai alternatif transportasi umum yang terjangkau dan cenderung lebih mudah diakses, angkot tentunya jadi andalan banyak orang, terutama di Jakarta. Gue pribadi cinta banget sama kemudahan dan akses naik angkot yang memang super murah dan gampang karena lewat depan gang rumah dan langsung menuju ke terminal utama; Pulo Gadung. Yang belakangan jadi pet-hates gue adalah: mental para penumpang yang malas dan individualis serta berpikiran sempit. Gue paham, tujuan orang naik angkot pada umumnya sama kok; gampang, murah dan gak jalan jauh dari tujuan maupun rumah. Sama, gue juga mikir gitu. Pet hates gue adalah ketika seorang penumpang turun di satu titik, selalu ada penumpang lain yang sebenernya titik tujuannya deket dari tempat si penumpang pertama berhenti. Ngeselinnya, dia memilih untuk nggak turun, dan sang supir yang baru naikin perseneling dari gigi 1 ke gigi 2 karena mau nambah kecepatan harus dihambat sama suara "kiri bang" dari orang yang sbenernya tadi bisa berhenti...

I got off from work early today just to assist my brother finding a gift for his bae. Thinking that giving a present for a girlfriend is hard, so you need a trustworthy, credible help from someone. Just how thoughtful my bro is to choose me to help him because he wants the best for his girlfriend. I think what I'm doing is cool. Until a stupid random shit overcross my head thought that "I wish I had such thoughtful boyfriend" and I just gazed away from myself. As usual, I'm just being silly.

Today I went crazy about a really random (but important!) thought. Honestly I'm lazy to retype it here, so I'd just copy it from my chat with my friend and modify it (I swear I'll modify things! I'm not that lazy!) You know the tradition of football players trading their shirts with the players from other team that they play against. This is massive ridicule to me. Kamu tau kan gaji pemain bola itu gede.  Kenapa masih pada norak minta jersey pemain lawan sih kalo mereka bisa beli sendiri? Masih banyak fans kere di luar sana seperti aku yg lebih pantas mendapatkan bekas keringet ryan giggs dan karim benzema dan cristiano ronaldo dan matt hummels dan toni kroos dll dll. At this point my friend replied me "bukan masalah gajinya, tapi chance ketemu pemain idola mereka..." Aku masih ngga ngerti tuh kenapa mereka berbuat demikian.  Aku ngga ngerti. They could have bought the brand new one yg ga bekas keringet bahkan bisa minta ttd langsung kalo ketemu di players tun...