tulisan hampa

Year's End. Setahun lalu rasanya saya masih posting blog macam ini di kubikal mini saya di DHL. Tahun ini..bunch to tell. JANUARI adalah moment dimana saya enjoy banget jadi karyawan yang bisa menghasilkan uang sendiri (meskipun sedikit). Saya juga sibuk riset sana-sini tentang universitas di Britania Raya, Wales dan England tepatnya. Dua universitas di Australia ngasih saya offer dan potongan biaya kuliah, cuma saya nggak tertarik, soalnya tetap aja mahal. Sambil terus (sok) bertahan di  LSPR dan master programme-nya. Masih menaruh harapan pada thesis yang mungkin bisa saya selesaikan just in case saya nggak keterima dimanapun di Inggris. FEBRUARI ini saya disibukkan dengan apply surat rekomendasi dari beberapa dosen bule di kampus S1, dan alhamdulillah Sue Davies memang selalu yang terbaik, suportif dan sangat membantu. Surat rekomendasinya bikin saya nangis di sebelah Adimas waktu itu yang lagi nyetir mobil saya menuju kampus S2 dari kampus B. He was such a nice gu...

"You're not pregnant, and that's it" the nurse closed our conversation in a very warm tone with strong stress. I went out the white and tidy room with a pale face, my husband came straight to comfort me and gave me a hug. He smiled heedlessly and I held my tears until I sat my ass in our car. "it's our anniversary, I'd like to do something different today with you, Wifey" He tried to tell me that everything is going to be okay and I could be pregnant again in no time. I know he was correct, I just felt powerless because it was our fifth anniversary and I still haven't got any chance to even feel like a pregnant woman, I kept losing my pregnancy. "sometimes hard and heavy sports could cause miscarriage, and that is definitely why I asked you to stop working, at least for a while until you passed the maternity" my friend was trying to convince me that probably I could start to be more committed to what I am willing for. It was not ...

saya habis ngobrol sama seorang temen (saya sendiri ragu harus sebut dia 'temen' atau 'kenalan') dan berakhir dengan agak kesal, padahal seharusnya pembicaraan kami berujung sangat positif dan membangun. pasalnya, saya mengajak dia berpikir bahwa di luar sana, tanpa sepengetahuan kita, akan selalu ada orang yang iri dan cemburu sama kita; apa yang kita punya dan apa yang kita dapat. dia ngeyel dan jarang merasa gitu, malah sebaliknya, dia merasa banyak banget orang yang lebih beruntung dari pada dia sehingga dia lebih sering iri (dan termotivasi) oleh orang-orang sejenis itu. dua sudut pandang yang berbeda sih intinya: saya ngajak bersyukur, dia ngajak bekerja lebih giat. saya nggak menyalahkan dia atau pemahamannya tentang sukses dan kehidupan sosial, cuma saya lagi berharap nemu temen bersyukur aja. nampaknya salah rekan bicara. :D I laugh about the things I could laugh at, mostly, I cry beneath, for things that I couldn't remember to laugh at, and t...

pulang ke Indonesia, meskipun cuma seminggu, tapi rasanya luar biasa nikmat. ngelihat lagi jalanan macet, motor membanjiri trotoar dan jalur busway, gedung-gedung tinggi nggak beraturan, polusi yang semakin parah dan pejalan kaki yang kian jorok. di balik itu semua, saya ndengar lagi suara azan, suara mama dan suara papa. saya tidur lagi sama adik-adik saya, bercanda sama temen-temen kantor dan sebaya. saya seneng nghirup lagi udara pagi jakarta, bau angin dan hembusan nafas saat bersepeda. rasanya nikmat lagi nyium petrichor lalu merasa gerah setelah seharian jalan-jalan. saya ngeliat lagi antrian berantakan dan birokrasi yang nggak beraturan. bantuin adik saya ngerjain tugas dan dengerin suara mama-papa marah, senangnya.

I declare myself as a numb person, a creature. I have no feelings, no pain, no happiness, no joy and no sad. I have been going through an inevitably fluctuating emotional change, I still feel nothing significant to be expressed and concerned deeply. I throw madness at the wind, I curse the fate, I live the path, I feel nothing. I am a creature with no feeling. I am numb. 08/12/11 - another tasteless failure.

J: "so what if she's not a virgin anymore?" M: "it means that she had sex with some one else or more in the past" J: "so what? that does not make her as a bad wife, as a bad mom for your kids" M: "it is just something not culturally me, that's not how a woman should behave in our country" J: "you're bothered with how people see and accept culture, huh?" M: "I am not bothered. I just don't want to share my life with the person who has different vision with me" J: "what vision? what makes the difference a big deal for you?" M: "you cannot live with the person who has different way of thinking from you" J: "what if she's willing to change and follow your vision" M: "I will not be sure after knowing what she has been through then she would change" J:"what makes you sure you are not gonna change your vision?" M: "I am quite sure I am not gonna cha...

yes, saya barusan menekan tombol ALT + TAB untuk membuka blog ini, memposting sesuatu yang saya usahakan dalam bahasa Indonesia ya, soalnya otak saya mulai agak capek dalam memproses adaptasi linguistik yang kadang ikutan masuk ke dalam mimpi.  saya lagi nulis 4000 kata essay dan baru dapet 3000. deadline-nya sih Januari, tapi seperti biasa, otak paranoid saya ini nggak bisa menunda kerjaan yang bisa dilakukan secepatnya (damn, I almost type 'asap' instead of 'secepatnya) (and damn, I am now typing in English!!) jadi essay yang lagi saya kerjain ini tentang cultural imperialism dan globalisasi (sumpah saya ragu mau nulis 'imperialisme budaya' jadi tolong dimaklumi saja ya) dan saya membahas film SERIGALA TERAKHIR, film rilisan 2009 dari Upi. Saya sih nggak suka ceritanya, nggak suka setting-nya dan nggak suka alurnya, tapi saya suka aktornya. akting mereka bagus kok, dan itu aja. Saya nggak minat mendeskripsikan isi essay saya dan teori yang saya pake. ...

soalnya saya nggak kuat ngetik lagi, jadi saya capture saja ya. selalu begini, selalu sedih dan haru kalo inget papa, selalu kangen papa. I'll be home dad!

the only thing that I am so bad at is keeping promise. today, for the most glorious day of my life, I succeeded making people satisfy by what I have done. "terima kasih semuanya sudah hadir di acara perhimpunan pekerja muda hari ini. saya nggak  mau bertele-tele kasih  sambutan yang hanya akan bikin rekan sekalian muak sama saya. saya jelas cuma  mau bersyukur kepada Tuhan semesta alam yang sudah melancarkan semua urusan kita, memberikan kesehatan dan terus melindungi kita semua. saya juga nggak  lupa berterima kasih kepada rekan catering  yang mau capek  masak untuk hidangan sedap hari ini, jangan khawatir, saya yakin sedap kok  karena terlihat dari susunannya di meja prasmanan sana" I pointed out the long table with buffet set. I think it looked delicious, really, it smelled good and my eating appetite suddenly cut my speech off. "mari semuanya, dengan ini saya resmi buka acara perhimpunan pekerja muda 2019. sukses untuk kita semua, dan sukses un...

autumn is inevitably something that i always fall for. i have got so many assignments and things to do in this season. this year, is the reverse version of last year. i used to enjoy myself in peace, holiday and relaxation every year end. this year, is somehow fantastically different; i am busy and occupied. no, no.. hold on. i love it. as i always love to be busy and occupied. what matter is, this business lately sort of engage me with tonnes of new things to adapt. the disjuncture of my current mind box is totally exhilarating. i get to see what i have never seen before, i cope myself to do things that i have been imagined of. and i come to the corner where everything seems so blurry yet awesome. regardless how many people are going to scream their envious thoughts and inspirations, i find myself behaving as what my back brain told me to. my heart is unable to react to any sensitive thing, then this insensitivity arouse me to care more about what is written in the ...

just another report. I found myself astounded by the fog around my flat. it is a bright day and breezy weather. oh, how I adore autumn. I can't wait to go home, and return back here to finish my first semester exam. I need a distraction.

I am listening to dubstep, far before i stepped my feet in the UK. I love trance, quite a long time ago since i was still in high school. I do sports, i cannot live without moving my body, i sometimes dance. I enjoy eating, I am always learning to cook though i never be able to. I crave knowledge and new things,  i cannot stand knowing what i know because i do not know anything. I plan lots of things, however you think i ended up ignoring and changing things. I feel the pain, i smile at most of the time but it does not mean i am numb. I write things, i say them often, and also write some, things that i cannot say. I live to travel. staying in one place makes me itchy and useless. I like helping people, seeing other happy is my pleasure and my remedy. I predict, i assume as if i know what might positively happen, just to make myself better. I make network, i make friends, i am spontaneous and envious. I run, i always run as if time is running after me and i compete with myself. I s...

"oops., sorry, did I hit you?" gua kaget banget ada orang di balik pintu musholla kampus. pintu dorong itu mungkin kena kaki atau badannya tadi. "umm, no.. I'm fine" cowok itu senyum ramah dan mempersilahkan gua lewat sebelum dia masuk. Gua membatin kegantengan cowok itu, aksennya sih Inggris kental, tapi mukanya timur tengah. Tinggi, kurus dan muslim. Rambutnya berantakan, nggak keriting dan nggak disisir rapi. "Shoot!! I am so sorry!" gua menumbuk badan tinggi dengan papan skateboard dari balik pintu perpustakaan. "Oh, damn. Are you okay?" agaknya cowok kurus tinggi ini khawatir juga sama muka gua yang panik dan merah karena kedinginan. "Yeah, I am sorry, I didn't know you were there with that board in front of you" gua beneran yakin kali ini papan besar itu pasti kena perutnya paling nggak. "no, no, it hit me, but I am fine, I thought you were shocked and bounced back by the door" dia balik nanya da...

"She showed me her middle finger " Chad mengusap kepalanya bagian belakang, bicara dengan penuh emosi ke Louis, sahabatnya. "That's horrible! Who's she? " Louis menggigit apel pengganti makan siangnya sambil memperhatikan garis-garis risau di wajah Chad. " I have no idea, if I had any chance to see her again, I surely would ask her why " Chad menghembuskan nafas panjang, berharap takdir akan mempertemukannya lagi dengan wanita itu. -the morning after- "Hey you, yeah, we met like last week in the station. Remember me?" Chad menahan pintu supermarket selangkah sebelum seluruh tubuh mungil Silvia beranjak meninggalkan dunia Chad untuk kedua kalinya. "No, who're you?" tentu saja Silvia hanya mengerutkan kening "Ok, it's Chad. Nice to see you"  "No Chad, who are you? To me? " Silvia mencoba mengingat lagi siapa Chad ini. "Right, look, last week when we met, we talked, about this and tha...

"thank you very much for your assistance, I really have no idea what my family would be without your advise" "oh please, this dinner is just...too luxurious to a marriage consultant like me!" "please accept my gratefulness..." "I hope your parents will be okay and they will last. They look good together anyway" "yeah, I hope so. I keen to make them happier han before, especially when me and my siblings are out of the city for most of our time" "I was so glad to be a part of their joy" "are you glad as well going out with me tonight?" :)

the only painful thing in my life is to be unable to help. i don't want to blame god for giving me such small vein hence the needle in blood centre could not suit it, i just wonder if there is any other alternative i could go through to do this. before i die, i want to donate my blood. that simple god. please, please, please let me get what i want.

"SURPRISE!!!!" Mr and Mrs Reiss tersentak dari televisi mereka. Sekitar delapan sampai sepuluh kawan dekat mereka yang sudah lama tidak bertemu tiba-tiba muncul membawa banyak hadiah dan satu loyang kue tart bertuliskan "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" . Mr Reiss tersenyum lebar nyaris tertawa menyapa semua orang disitu. "I can't even remember this day is my anniversary with Anne. Happy anniversary, honey!" Ia mengecup kening istrinya hangat lalu melanjutkan bincang dengan para tamu yang mengejutkannya. Sesekali ia mencuri pandang ke arah Anne dan tersenyum saat Anne menyadari tatapannya. "How could you guys be here? I am totally astounded by all this. I miss you, all of you...." Mrs Reiss adalah sosok ramah yang senang bicara dan bercerita. Ia menanyakan kabar semua orang dan tetap akan berakhir dengan ceritanya sendiri, tentang apapun. "Okay, okay. Now tell me, who is the creator of all this craziness?? You, Ed?" Mrs Reiss meny...

this report was made by a reckless master student. stuck in the cloudy wednesday morning with tons of works to do but no idea at all. this was supposed to be a fiction writing, so let's make it. it happened yesterday. i was crossing the street down to my residences, just bought a box of eggs and a pack of cigarettes. i was dying of being alone in that big mansion. my parents left me, going out of town for a business trip. my girlfriend left me, going for a school project. i am the only son of the family. it was actually a shame since i've just visited my parents for like once a month, and this time they left. i was alone. i pushed my front door half mad and dropped my eggs. thank god they were fine. i would do nothing with the eggs anyway, was just thinking to scramble them and mix them with sausage and make a sandwich. waiting for the toaster, i called my girlfriend. "hi babe, how's it??" "this is horrible, lots of uncooperative people!! i wanna go ho...

hello! my name is Louis. I've read you guys are making an appointment to see me to talk about marriage. do you mind helping me figure out about your marriage, first of all? umm,,well, it's a..umm..twenty eight years.. I see, it has been a long way to go. how is it? what's the problem? we,,umm.... this is not like what you've thought..this is.... don't worry. this counseling is not just for those couples who are facing crisis. This moment is also a chance for you to improve your marriage. Feel free to tell me everything. I don't... well.. as you know, we would like to have this marriage to..you know, kind last...without being bothered of any affair if it happens. yeah, yeah, no worries. tell me the problem. do you fall in love with another man or woman? no, it's not me. well, maybe you, Mrs ...... Reiss ? anything you want to share? me? um.. no, it's not me. oh, dear. come on. then what do we gotta do to make everything better for you?...

the worst distraction saat menulis essay adalah 1) playlist itunes, 2) kabar dari pacar 3) blogger. saya nggak pengen cerita apa-apa, kebanyakan diomongin aja (sama tembok kamar mandi) dari pada ditulis di blog. saya ngomong sendiri waktu duduk di kloset, dan saya jelas berbisik sendiri di bilik shower setiap selesai mandi "we fought last night, was that a fight? that was forgivable". saya kangen sama garis merah di bawah setiap kata yang saya ketik di microsoft word, saya kangen sama macet dan panasnya udara jakarta, saya kangen sama sumpah serapah adik saya setiap nyetir, dan saya kangen sama bentakan dan omelan orang tua saya. how blissful my life is. dua ratus kata dalam lima belas menit itu prestasi bukan sih? ini ngomongin essay lho, bukan ngomongin postingb blog. soalnya saya lagi stuck dan masih nggak percaya saya ada di suatu kamar di lantai lima, apartemen kemahasiswaan tingkat awal jurusan komunikasi untuk titel master. rasanya kemarin baru di bully sama temen ...

Steve Jobs died in 56. that was the first news I've read this morning, with three slices of white bread, white milk and chocolate spread. I've just texted my dad and told him that I saw him in my dreams. I read a message from my brother, mocking me and joking around. I looked at me and my boyfriends picture on my desk, then I burst into tears. I know I am not a religious person, and silly if now I praise God and let you read this. One thing that burst me into tears, was that I know and I believe, there is this power, the one who never sleeps, rotating the world and seasons, keeping secret and dying the lives and living the dead. The one that guide and curse, the one that always work and never gets tired. I am happy to have such belief, and I know when I die, I meet the one who never sleeps.

saya berhenti mengeluhkan momen dimana orang tua saya lupa hari ulang tahun saya. bukan mereka nggak sayang, tapi mereka punya caranya sendiri menunjukkan kasih sayang. saya mulai menghargai lagi dan lagi apa yang Tuhan kasih sama saya sampe di umur ke 23 tahun ini. Leeds, MA programme, good friends, celebrations, experience, England, love. ah, indescribable. saya berlanjut berjuang, memulai yang saya harus mulai, melanjutkan apa yang sudah saya jalani dan menghentikan hal-hal konyol yang nggak bermanfaat. yes, happy birthday to me and happy friendship to those who made my age just more precious than before. in this strange island, in this new place, I'm too blessed to complain about small things. and good friends in need are good friends indeed. Lintang sama Reyhan Birthday Surprise dari gang yang habis London-an di hari ulang tahun saya!! I shall say this dinner was awesome! many new (and good) friends! Yep! I need to stop complaining about sm...

i am in a stranger island. lost and completely lost. it is my 23rd birthday, and i am lost. i had fun too much and i am lost. sounds negative? it is not, in fact, i really had so much fun. i got a grip, i had fun, i am lost. i need to sleep, but i just don't want to. i was spending my 23rd first hours with these strangers i like. they are fantastic, respectful, kind and truthful. they are Andrea, Lewis, Marcelo, Silvia, Galina, Nikhita and Liz. however, i missed my old friends, drinking and talking haven't been this fun before. i missed my family and my boyfriend. i am turning 23 and i am lost. i love it, dear god.

aku mendengar panggilan terakhir dari pengeras suara bandara. langkahku semakin cepat berlari namun aku yakin akan percuma. penerbangan murahan tidak akan menungguku. "this is the final call for Ms Sherman, Ms Sherman to be on board for flight to Mississippi" lalu aku sadar langkahku tidak lagi bergerak kemanapun. aku diam menatap pesawatku lepas landas. hilang ke langit membawa mimpiku bersamanya. lalu aku diam, sendiri. rasanya sulit percaya kalau pertemuanku dengan Andrea akan berakhir begitu saja dalam hitungan jam. penerbangannya mengalami gangguan dan pesawatnya jatuh. belum ada indentifikasi Andrea ditemukan.aku dan keluarganya menunggu kabar di ruang tunggu maskapai. "I am very sorry to confirm this that we found Ms Sherman's luggages and wallets near the area..." kata-kata selanjutnya tidak lagi penting buatku. Andrea sudah pergi, namun aku seperti ingin melihat jasadnya, aku seperti ingin bertemu lagi dengannnya dan mengakui kecuranganku dalam ...

my first autumn far from home. i missed smelling petrichor. i missed sitting on my couch, drinking chocolate and doing nothing. but i love the wind here, i love how the street smells. i love how the people act and i love how this country loves me. there's no such time i wanna go home, all i wanted was bringing my loved ones here, to sip in the fresh air. i want to see them see what would it be to live in a far far country. i missed the sound of azan, and how i enjoy my nights with my god. here, everything is just so wonderful in another way. i love it, i love you, God.

cerita ini saya buat setengah sadar, setelah ngobrol dengan seseorang di pergaulan sosial di teknologi ciptaan Kanada. "excuse me, could i have a plate of salad please?" "sure, anything else?" "orange juice please" "be back at you in two sec" "thank you" lima belas menit kemudian teman saya datang ke meja saya dan memesan kepada pelayan yang sama "excuse me, i'd like to have a beef sandwich please" "oh, i'm sorry, we run out of sandwiches today" "well, coke will be fine, then" "no problem" sepuluh menit kemudian pelayan itu datang membawa pesanan kami. "this restaurant is fantastic" "no, it is not. they don't serve sandwich" "hey, they do, they're just running out of it" "no, it was just a tactical tempation" "what?" "they offer a very delicious menu to attract people, but don't really have it....

i skipped so many things today; the city tour, the fruity party and the cooking sessions with indonesian friends. i am so exhausted and i don't know why. i want to sleep and i want to dream of my mom. silly i know, maybe this is homesick or homerun, or whatever it is. my flatmates are laughing out loud in our kitchen and i am not even interested to join their beers. i am sleepy. i love UK, i love these people, i love the hype and i love everything about it. i lost my eating appetite and surely will curse the weight scale for reducing my body mass index. funny to know that i am not drunk but i am typing like a drunken person. i guess i'd just sign out my messengers, lock my door, turn on the heater, wear the jacket and pull up my duvet. oh i love UK.

wow, this is the first post from the UK. dedicated to those who have been waiting for my update (berasa artis) tyo, nandha, adimas, maybe eka or chairun. anyone. life's so good here. i cried sometimes knowing my dad didnt reply my sms just because he has no heart to tell me he missed me. i missed him too, i missed my dad. i missed my family, my bestfriends, my brothers. bismillah.

As sure as the floor 'neath my toes, And somehow not surprised That I was superimposed Somehow in this life And if my friends and my foes Would just drop me a line That'd be nice You see love is a drink That goes straight to my head And time is a lover And I'm caught in her stead And the sentiment there follows me Straight to my bed through the night I've got my life in a suitcase And ready to run run run away I've got no time 'cause I'm always trying to run run run away 'cause everyday it feels like it's only a game I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase What could be an anchor here With a storm on the rise When you're never meant to see so clear When smoke gets in your eyes And the man in the moon Never makes his replies understood? I've got my life in a suitcase And ready to run run run away I've got no time 'cause I'm always trying to run run run away 'cause everyday it ...

"dear my good friend, soon you'll be leaving this country, this town where we used to hang out and have fun together. I may not be there instantly when you need me like before, but I want you to keep in mind that: I will always in your heart, listen to your every story. Once you arrived there, keep this note in behind your door, so each time you're going out and in, you're reminded by a restless friend here in your hometown. Remember that nothing will and is allowed to bring you down. You're living your dream there and you have been making us proud here in home. Keep smiling and keep moving forward as you are always encouraged by. I forbid any pain and critic take you down, so be tough and make them your shield. You're the king of your mind and no one rules it but you. If you have any complaints or just want to mock anything that bothers you, go to your YM , I'll be there. Late replies are always better than invisible or unavailable, right? Please also...

"Wah, pasti enak nih kopinya" Bagus memuji sambil memperhatikan apron hitam yang dikenakan Bea. "Kok gitu?" Kening Bea mengerut kaget dan tersipu "Iya, yang buat coffee master soalnya, pasti udah capcus banget mixing kopinya" Bagus tersenyum penuh makna, umpannya seperti bekerja efektif, "black apron means coffee master kan?" "Kok tau sih? Partners ya? Starbucks mana?" Bea mencoba mencairkan groginya "Bukan, saya customer biasa" "Kok tau soal black apron?" "Dari internet, dan convinced abis liat mukamu yang super pede dan charming, soo brewing" Bea tertawa mendengar ungkapan terakhir. Ia menggeleng kecil karena malu dilihat oleh Bagus dengan tatapan aneh. "Thank you!" Bagus menyambut minumannya setelah Bea mengumumkan jenis kopi itu "Anytime, thank you" Bagus tidak melepaskan pandangannya dari Bea, dan seperti tidak menyerah, Bagus terus mencoba "ini cara isi customer voic...

Di sini, di sudut ini, aku diam menatapmu. Meneliti setiap jengkal seragam pertandinganmu hari ini. Warna merah seragammu menyerupai hatiku, seperti rasa bangga dan silau akan kebesaran stadionmu ini. Di sini, di sudut ini lagi, aku menyerupai dirimu, memerahkan tubuhku dan melengkapi senyumku dengan rasa senang bercampur bangga. Di sini, di sudut ini, aku melihatmu lagi dengan tawa dan peluh yang sama. Dengan wajah dan kaki lincah yang sama yang mendampingimu bermain. Di sini, di sudut ini, aku memperhatikanmu lagi, mengucap kata yang tidak kau dengar. Bukan telingamu tertutup, hanya saja riuh mengalahkan gumamku. Di sini, di sudut ini, aku tersenyum menyaksikan setiap umpan dan silangan demi silangan gerakmu yang mempesona. Di sini, di sudut ini, sekali dari 90menit aku menemukanmu memandangku dan tersenyum lucu. Aku membalas senyummu, lalu kau bermain lagi dengan duniamu. Di sini, di sudut ini, aku...sendiri.

I am currently addicted to prefab (prefabrication) homes. Been loving interior and exterior designs for years, but never have the guts to study deeper. I love architecture and I love posting cool pics. :)

"Hey babe!" "Hey darling! Do you wanna say something about this crap?"   Lindsay mengangkat koran infotainment di tangan kirinya dan menunjukkan halaman pertama dimana ada foto Jack berciuman dengan gadis setengah telanjang "Wow, that's what I've been telling you about, last night"   Jack meraih lembaran menyebalkan itu dan mencoba membaca cepat isi berita yang menyertai foto itu. "No, that's not like what you told me, baby. Tell me!"   Lindsay masih mencoba bertanya dengan kepala dingin. Jack gusar, ia baru saja sampai rumah dari latihan basket regulernya. Kepalanya sedang panas dan tidak siap bicara apapun soal foto itu. Seingatnya ia hanya diajak bersenang-senang oleh teman klub, lalu datang penari telanjang dan kontan semua kamera paparazzi di sekitar klub malam itu beraksi sesuai instingnya masing-masing. "Well, boys night out. What do you expect from that? A priest? A coach? Referee? It was a dark celebration wher...

"for god sake I saved his ass twice, Vin! What was he thinking?" Bella sesenggukan bercerita ke Vin. Vin yang dengar cerita Bella cuma diam sesekali mengusap punggung Bella. "I think he just need some time, give it a break" "Vin, if I let him go, who'd do my guarding class and my written assessment? I could always rely on him about that, and now he's prosecuting me like this." "Bella, be true. what do you expect from a person like him? he's just been too insecure dating a person like you" "I think it is normal, I'm afraid of losing him too" "so what do you want?" "I don't know, I just want him around" peluit keras berbunyi panjang. Bella dan Vin merapikan seragam dan bergegas lari ke lapangan untuk fisik mental selanjutnya.

"What? What if it were his girlfriend? Would you do the same?" Gua shock sekali denger Andrea ngucapin belasungkawa ke mantan cowoknya yang baru ditinggal adiknya meninggal karena kecelakaan. Andrea memang agak labil, gua udah sering ingetin untuk ga usah masuk-masuk lagi ke kehidupan laki-laki yang udah merusak hidupnya. Andrea diam, tiba-tiba Bella lewat. Gua tarik tangannya dan dia agak tersentak. "I wanna break up with you" tanpa basa basi gua sapa dia "What? Why?" Andrea melihat kiri-kanannya memastikan suara gua nggak terlalu keras "You disrespect me" tiga kata simpel yang mewakili semua rasa geram gua "Wow! What?" "You don't have to be my girlfriend to get me help you, you know that" "What are you talking about Rick?" "Last week, you took my swimming kit and didn't give it back, or at least let me know you've used it" "I thought we've talked about this" "Y...

kemarin saya ketemu dengan teman saya di taman sekolah. dia tanya kenapa saya nggak jualan donat lagi di taman itu, padahal kalo bulan puasa, omzet bisa naik gila-gilaan. saya bilang saya nggak tertarik lagi dengan donat. "it has been part of your life since you were a kid" "i know, i just don't see it that interesting anymore. it has no sense of art" "what do you mean" "this is what i called unreasonable sudden stop. i just stop liking it" "that doesn't make sense" "nothing in this world does" "anyway, are you going to start a new business?" "i'm planning to set up another food stall, i just haven't thought of what would it be" "what about ice cream?" "thanks, i'll put that on my list" "i don't see you bring your pen to note down" "no, i don't take notes literally. if it's important, i'll remember it" "whatever. good luck. i...

fiksi adalah saat dimana seorang individu mereplika tuhan menciptakan karakter dan menuliskan garis takdirnya saat dimana seorang manusia mencerminkan hati dan pikirannya saat dimana seorang anak menuliskan rasa rindunya terhadap ketiadaan saat dimana kenyataan terhenti sebentar, tergantikan oleh khayalan saat dimana dunia tidak berbentuk bulat, hanya setengah lingkaran saat dimana sebuah tulisan memiliki begitu banyak makna saat dimana pembaca menikmati dengan caranya sendiri saat dimana ada kata yang dibiarkan tak terucap saat dimana saya bicara, apa yang saya enggan tulis saat dimana saya menulis, apa yang saya enggan bicarakan.

"BLITZ!!!" the sound of camera flash were blinding my eyes. As I walked through the red carpet, suddenly a voice called me "Patricia, Patricia!! it's Christo, your table-mate in high-school!" I stopped and reassure that voice is really Christo. "Damn you, pencil boy! where have you been?" I saw him smiling heedlessly beyond big cameras and other journalists around him, "give me your card, I'll call you, Christ" he handed me his card and I slipped away into the award venue. "Christo Julien" I heard him answering my call to his cell. I invited him to a lunch in the Scenario and prohibit him bringing his recorder and camera. I am so grateful to see him finally. "So, how's journalism feed your weed habit?" I ordered salmon steak for lunch "I see everything as bright as I have imagined. I've been trying to call out your name in every event. And surely journalism don't bring me trophy as yours...

Jarang banget gue nulis kata-kata kasar, apalagi via dunia maya, terlebih via blog gue. Tulisan hampa selalu memuat cerita fiksi atau sampah-sampah harian gue. Kali ini, boleh ya spesial edisi gue meluapkan sisi jahat gue. I just wanna say: I hate you, for your inconsistency, un-acceptability, impatience, accusation, exaggerating ego and fluctuating emotional behaviour. I hate you.

rasanya kisah Eron harus diselesaikan ya. jadi Eron sedang menghabiskan makan siangnya sebelum kembali bergelut dengan tugas sekolah dan pelajaran yang harus ia hadapi esok di sekolahnya. setengah semester berlalu, namun Eron merasa ini belum apa-apa dibanding apa yang harus ia tebus selama setengah semester lagi. *** Aku adalah anak bungsu dari dua bersaudara. Kakaklu Irfan, tinggal bersama Papa di rumah Papa. Aku belum mengerti kalau tiga tahun lalu, Mama mencoba merebutku dari Papa dikarenakan rasa gengsi dan sakit hati. Papa selingkuh, lalu menggugat cerai Mama. Saat itu, si Nyonya besar terpukul sekali dan marah hingga bertubi-tubi. Suami yang dicintainya meninggalkannya demi seorang wanita yang tidak jelas, seperti seolah melupakan apa yang sudah mereka melewati bersara. HIngga sore itu, Kak Irfan berkunjung ke istanaku. *** "Kak Irfan gimana sekolahnya?" "Baik, kamu gimana rapot tengah semesternya?" "Nggak tau, Mama belum cerita" "Papa m...